i am damn fucking fucking fucking lostform to the max... i dun wanna live anymore... let me just die ok........... this is really not my year for ANY kind of examinations... FUCKED UP LA KNN.................... chao chee bye... i failed my piano exams by a fucking 2 marks.......... FUCKING HELL FUCK THE FUCKING EXAMINER TO BITS AND PIECES LAH. FUCK LAH!
and now the fucking worst thing is tat my fucking exam pieces cannot be fucking used nxt yr anymore!! meaning i can't retake the SAME exam pieces!! i hafta LEARN NEW ONES!!! AND THEY ARE FUCKING SIX PAGES LONG (used to be only 4pgs long)!!! CHEEBYE!!! the problem is if i can take back my old piano pieces i can take it nxt yr FEBUARY!!!! INSTEAD OF FUCKING AUGUST!!! ITS ANOTHER YEAR OF TORTURE!!! PURE UTTER TORTURE!!! I'LL BE TORTURED TO DEATH!!! I DUN WANNA GO THRU TAT HELL AGAIN!!! IT'S REALLY HELL U KNOW!! HAVING TO STEP INTO THE EXAMINATION ROOM AND HAVING THE FUCKING OLD CHEEBYE EXAMINER STARING AT U WHILE U PLAY!!! ITS PURE TORTURE JUST PRACTICING EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like a fucking total loser. i admit, im a fucking failure. im fucking stupid, i am really fucking stupid. i admit. i can't do anything well. i cant pass any single exams. 1st it was the disappointing A levels results, then it was another torturous period when i couldn't get into any single fucking local uni no matter how hard i tried to appeal, (whilst others could easily get a letter for interview and got in, i had nuthing, not even a fucking interview). then it was school. when i felt tat i can't cope with anything, and teachers nvr praised any of my work before, they always praised my classmates. and now.. the ultimate is really my piano exams. its the ultimate. i admit, i didn't really practice till it was a few wks before my exams. but still. still. still. i tot i could pass. at least scrape thru. but NO. i just HAD TO fail yet again. someone tell me im not a pure utter loser, failure, disappointment to my parents.
i find it very very very hard to move on. i've lost faith in every single thing. i feel my strength totally gone frm within my soul. i feel my brain's an empty shell. i find no strength to live on anymore.......
just let me die. my only strength is you. dun disappoint me. please.
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