now i know why couples of 7 yrs, or even 8,9 yrs can break off suddenly, leaving everyone in shock...tat's because when they realised they're finally ready for marriage, the other half is not suitable for them. they'd been together for so long juz because they've gotten so used to the company they dont want a change...... they dont want a sudden change to their lifestyle... when ur family is already so familiar with ur other half u're juz not ready for the change........

when they're ready for marriage, they'll suddenly realise they have really different concepts about marriage....... really different ideals for their future...... and juz break off cos of this.......

we were juz talking casually about marriage, and life after marriage... and i juz realised, we trully have really different ideas about the life after marriage. and even quarrelled cos of it.

i want a home i call ours, OUR home, without other interventions, without his PARENTS. juz us, and our children. he, on the other hand, wants to stay with his parents. i dont know why he is so convention about certain things. so damn old fashioned, so straight that he cant twist and turn and think of other ways to accomodate to each other. he juz wants me to accomodate to him. always listen to him. always.

if i stay with his parents and him, it'll be THEIR home, not ours. really, i'll feel like the stranger there, the odd one out. conflicts will bound to arise. more ppl means more conflicts. nothing's happening now since im only a guest at THEIR hse during wkends, even if they are not happy about me about anything. they wont say. they wont show their discontent. in the future, when everyone's living together, living forever. there are BOUND TO BE conflicts, i swear. no matter how good tempered everyone is, there are surely bound to be conflicts. i really hate the idea of staying with others, especially older ppl. seriously, i cant even imagine staying with them for life, i'll juz die. so what if he's the only son? only son has the duty, I KNOW. FUCK, U THINK IM SO FUCKING HARD-HEARTED? then stay NEAR ur parent's hse ah!! then we go ur parent's hse everyday to eat ah!!! cannot meh? y muz LIVE TOGETHER??!

i dont understand why is he so conventional, why cant we enjoy our er ren shi jie together? why cant we think of other ways like buying a flat near his parent's hse? or why cant we go to his parent's hse everyday but we juz live in different hses? i really dont understand. even my parents are not so damn old fashioned. even my mum knows conflicts are bound to happen. even my mum told us specifically she dont wanna stay with us when we get married, not even my 2 brothers. they wanna stay and live outside on their own. juz stay near my bro's hse.

now im like the witch u see in mediacorp drama serials, the bad guy. and he's the good guy, good boy, good only son. fillial boy.

it's really this kinda things that make u dread of marriages and nothing else. i dont wanna get married anymore. marriage is not about juz the 2 of us. if ur other half just die die also dont wanna accomodate u. then the 2 shouldn't even be together at all.

i cant imagine me washing his socks, since he dont want to hire a maid.

i cant imagine myself teaching our children and caning them to do their homework while he acts like an angel and acts nonchalant and continue watching his 10pm news.

i cant imagine me doing housework and working all at the same time, since he said both have to work if not cannot support family.

i cant imagine me having to cook and wash the dishes while he reads his newspapers.

i cant imagine me having to wake up earlier than everyone else juz to make breakfast for them, and have to be the last one to have breakfast, and still have to clean up everything before going to work.

i cant imagine. i dont wanna get married anymore.

i will never get married. never never never if all these happen to me. i will juz divorce whoever the other half is. even if i've gotten used to him, so be it. i know for a fact, all these will happen to me. i just know. nobody will ever accomodate to me. never. why must i always be the one to accomodate to everyone else. why. why cant everyone think from my point of view and think from my perspective. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. if i have to live with ur parents then it'll be called YOUR hse, not mine. all ur family members and i'll be the odd one out. ya, ya rite, married then ur parents become my parents. u've lived with them 20 odd yrs and have gotten used to them, to their weird habits (if they have any, i still dont know, i juz 客串 for at most a wkend now), while i've juz joined for like hw many yrs. can compare meh? omg, i really cant imagine living with others. i really cant imagine. even at my own hse now i feel so pissed at times with my family members i juz stay in my own room. even own family members also quarrel everyday. what more with other ppl?

go ahead and think im a fucking bitch i dont care. i am like that. and i can be hell sure alot of ppl think like me too. even those so called "only sons" also move out and live on their own, but go back to their parent's hse everyday. they'd rather make the trip everyday than stay with their own parents. nowadays, u go and ask, which girl will want to share their own hse with somebody else. even if it's ur hubby's parents. none of my friends i've asked want to live with their hubby's parents. NONE.

think im thinking too far? think im thinking about all these for nothing? mark my words, all these will happen. WILL HAPPEN if ur other half juz wants their way. and die die wants u to listen to their egoistic so called "fillial piety" point of view. if u're already so un-accomodating now, wat makes u so sure u'll accomodate to me yrs later? then what for get married if ur hubby wont love u for who u are? why waste ur precious youth?

post note: i know, i know he's the only son. i really understand. i want to take care of my parents forever too. im not a fucking bitch for goodness sake. but i know they (parents) wont want to stay with us too, they want to avoid as much conflicts as possible too, do u really think they want to stay with us?? im really not as bitchy as i sound, but really, nobody will want to share their home with somebody. if u think a maid is an outsider, then i think ur parents are outsiders too. it's the same thing to me. i really dont mind visiting ur parents everyday at their hse. but at the end of the day i will still want to go back to my own nest for a rest. and not go back to a nest with so many ppl and so many conflicts of interests, it wont be like my home anymore, more like a warzone or something. it wont give me warm fuzzy feeling anymore.



im not thinking too much. dont tell me i think too much. im juz thinking ahead. and all these are really very very practical problems. i'd rather think about these problems now than think yrs later, only to regret everything, like those couples of 8, 9 yrs who'd wasted their youths pursuing different dreams, while being together. why cant we pursue a similar dream and work towards it together?