i'm going to officially announce that i'm PREGNANT...... yes.... with a capital P.............. and that was the reason why i agreed to marry the bf (tsk tsk tsk) if not i wouldn't have.... hahahah.... hmmmm i know it's shocking to announce it here rather than u know, tell you guys upfront....... so.......... wish me all the best for me and my baby! i dont know if u all will judge me but i all i ask for is for me, my baby, my family, my future husband to be and his family to be in good health......

back to the preggy topic... yeah..... 14 wks this wk....... it took me alot of courage to want to keep this baby... i didn't know if i could handle the responsibility of taking care of a child, if i could handle the responsibility to even edcuate him properly..... i was afraid... afraid that ppl would judge me....unsure of what ppl will think of me, unsure of how my parents will react... will they scream at me? will they be un supportive? cos i was sure that if i were to tell them, i would have already made the decision by then... tat is, to keep the baby..... so if i dont tell them, i would have gone ahead to abort it....

i spoke to alot of ppl, spent around 1 wk to think about it........ you guys can't imagine what kind of torment i went through when i saw the Predictor thingy sayin "POSITIVE".... i cried on the spot....... in the toilet of the newly opened shopping centre at Clementi.... i called the bf and DEMANDED him to come and accompany me to see the doctor........... we went to the doctor together.... and the wait was HORRIBLE.......... for some weirdass reason, the bf was actually LAUGHING outside the clinic while we were waiting.... he was actually EXCITED.......... i couldn't believe it initially........ he had no idea how terrified i was, how frustrated and frigging scared i was....... he kept repeating one thing "then like tat no choice liao la, must get married liao, all my frens also like tat, i din expect to be my turn so soon".......... i just told him i was going to abort it........ and he stared at me for the longest time ever........ i think it didn't dawn on him that i would ever want to abort it, cos the thought has never even crossed his mind before.....

then was the talk with the doctor, and it was confirmed after a test that i was pregnant... and when he told me "you're 8 wks pregnant".... i nearly wanted to cry on the spot.........my first reaction was "doc, can you give me the number or name of any abortion clinic near this area to call".... my bf nearly flipped again.... i saw him telling the doctor "no"...but nothing came out... i think he just managed to squeak out a useless "no".... cos i was too firm, i was too convinced of my decision.......

tat day, after seeing the doc, both of us went to the place where we had our first date... bukit batok nature reserve........ we went there to talk about it.......and both of us cried..... he asked me to decide on it during my Cameron Highland trip which was just 2 days away....

and the rest was history.............. i think, along the way, after talking to me, he was sort of convinced to abort it too.... but then we decided against it.... and i dont regret it......... i was glad we decided to keep it.........both our parents were glad we decided to keep it.... cos the moment we told them "we din want it at first" both the mothers screamed...... "SIAO AH, how can dont want!"

alot of my frens were soooooooooo supportive during the period of time when i told them.... and i was really glad i had them... if not i would have died and not know what to do....... so, THANK YOU....

in case u guys dont know........ i've already gone for a couple of ultrasounds and these scans all the more told me that i made the right decision to keep the baby......... i could see the baby LIVE...... twitching around, "jumping", turning it's head and even SUCKING THE THUMB.......... omg.... i could see the spine, the fingers, the toes........ it's really amazing....

ya ya, i sound like a mother now. bleah.