there i was saying we haven't been quarrelling for quite awhile and there we are quarrelling today again.. i feel so fuck. life just can't get better for me. i really hate him. he's just playing around wif my feelings. he's just giving me false hopes everyday by calling me or msging me. cos everytime i see his call i would expect a very sweet bf who's missed his gf alot cos he's in camp. but no. all i got was a fiery fucker, block of wood who don't even bother to talk. all he can always say is 'u talk ah, i just listen to you talk.' FUCK. why can he always bear to do this to me. am i his gf or not? does he really miss me in camp like he always claimed during weekends? why does he treat me so nicely only during weekends when he doesn't give a damn when he's inside? or everytme over the phone? did he treat me nicely on weekends only because i always buy him gifts? and he's guilty he din buy me anything and just think that he can get away wif it by treating me only a TAT BIT nicer?

he's just playing around with my feelings. or did he want something else from me during weekends? tat's why he feels that he must treat me better. wat the hell. hate my life.

feel like decorating my wrist wif some 5cm by 5cm cuts. or jumping off some building, and not killing myself but killing someone else inside a car instead. tat taiwan guy who wanted to commit suicide is really a joker. he din kill himself, but killed someone else in the car when he crashed down to the car. twist.