Yesterday's sentosa trip was quite ok. except for the fact tat the girls were all in one group and the guys all in the other. we were so separated. i din really have fun as i was itching all the time. din realise i was allergic to sun block too. call me allergy girl.

Didn't join them after sentosa.. regret. really regret. went my bf hse and regretted. he din even acknowlege tat i was at his hse. when i went there he was sleeping. still, he should have at least gave a sign tat he knew i was there. i woke him up and asked him if he knew i was there, and he said he knew. tat was when i felt so hurt. he knew i was alrdy in his room but he din give a damn, din even bother saying hi to me or something like tat. long long ago when i went his hse when he was sleeping, he'd always hug me, he'd always at least hug me and acknowlege tat im there.

the whole night i was feeling fuck. i was having fever. my whole body was burning, but i was shivering damn hard. i felt so cold yet so hot. i coudn't even sleep cos of my bloody fucking rashes. i was tossing and turning ard. he din even bother. he just slept on. i wanted to run away frm his hse. but i knew he'll be angry agn.

this morning he just went off after saying bye. he din even wait for me to say bye.

i know i did something he dun like yesterday. but i still think its no big deal. why can everyone do it while i can't! i dun think im in any wrong! AT ALL!

even if im wrong i alrdy made it up by going his hse!

he din pick any of my calls yesterday. din reply any of my msgs. he did it agn today. din pick any calls, din reply any msgs.

i finally did it. i msged him and said i want to break up. guess wat he said. 'u say one ah.' someone tell me exactly wat does he mean by tat. he sounds like he really wants this break up.

being the pathetic gf agn, i msged me him agn and apologised. i said tonnes of sorry. i called him a million times. he still din reply my msgs, still din pick up my calls.

i've never been treated like this before. i dun think i deserve all this. i really think i din do anything wrong.

i always felt i was so lonely even though i was standing right beside him. cos im always by myself. he nvr talked to me when we were out. we always keep quiet and stare at each other. i mean, i stare at him. he will always have his gaze elsewhere. i dun even feel like im his gf at all, nt even a fren.

i kept thinking back those times when we had so much things to talk abt. when we went so many places and had so much fun. kept thinking back to those times when he will hug me, whisper sweet nothings to me, kiss me, give me a peck on the cheek. how i wish and wish and wish we will be back to wat we were a yr ago.. how i really really wish..