procrastinating m.e

looking forward to Christmas and not looking forward to it all at the same time.... how mao dun is that........ u know, there's always these constant thoughts that go against each other in your mind and it really pisses the hell out of me....you have these conflicting thoughts that keeps going on and on and on.......... should i do this, should i not..... should i try this, or should i not..... these stupid thoughts can really make me insane....... i'm looking foward to Christmas, cos it's gift exchanging time, time for joy, fun, lights, town, play......... but once Christmas is over.......... i'll have NOTHING to look forward to anymore.... and starting of next year, i'll really.have.to.STUDY. which is so damn dreadful.......... this year's subjects that i'm taking, are so damn frigging DIFFICULT and dreadful...... MATHEMATICS in almost all the modules i'm taking.......... oh my my my....... how am i going to cope?!!!! Official exams are in MAY (again, shit, during my bday period), and the nxt.best.thing is that my PIANO EXAMS ARE ALSO IN MAY OR JUNE. i'm so not looking foward to year 2008. it'll be also the end of my career as a student, and the start of my doom, (start of my doom, sounds so, wrong.) in the working life. haiz haiz haiz......................................... these days, i'm so not looking forward to everything, i dont know why.... i'd rather spend the whole day with the bf at home..... or spend some quality time for myself in my room..... or do some reading...... read anything except my textbooks, do anything but practise the piano.... i'm so S.H.I.T