i know sometimes maintaining relationships are hard, but i didn't know it would be THIS HARD.

i feel so tired with every single breath that i take, short haggard breaths. so tired. so so so tired. everytime he does that, my heart just aches. everytime he does that, my heart just wounds. everytime it's over, the protective layer around my heart just gets thicker, in a faint effort to prevent it from hurting anymore. but it still hurts. maybe someday, it wont hurt anymore. maybe someday, the protective layer around it will build up so thick, so so thick, it wont hurt anymore. it wont even feel anything anymore. everything done unto it will not be felt, will not be taken into heart, will not love, will not feel, will not care, anymore. i feel so drained. drained of any energy. i feel pain, i feel everything. how i wish i will not feel anymore.