haizZZZZz.............. dont know what to say.......... we got Silver for SYF military band competition............ damn lostform ........... haizZz................. seeing the band at the national stadium brought back so much memories it overwhelmed me suddenly........... seeing the field, and knowing that it's the last time, really the very last time we're going to be marching at the national stadium field......... and we were back in Teckwhye, back at the same old muddy field at teckwhye......... i thought we could win at least a gold or something........... so many things went through my mind when we were waiting for the results, and after we've gotten the results........... seeing those dejected figures on the field, members and instructors alike, just feel like giving them a comforting pat on the back, seeing those disappointed faces, crying, sobbing faces, just makes me feel so sad......... the point is, i havent been going back to band for 6 years ever since i've graduated......... but it really seemed like i've never even left there afterall.............i haven't even been going back to help out AT ALL and i can feel so much for the band, i can feel anger, indignant, sadness, disappointment......... can you imagine those ppl who's been constantly helping out at the band, going back for band practices........... can you imagine how they'll feel? haizz........ we were sobbing at the national stadium 8 years ago, 8 years have passed, and we are still sobbing at the same field............ how can those bloody judges be so blind, i really cannot understand.......... so many flashes of memories back in my mind........... when we were at the band room, listening to Sir giving long long talks......... after band competition, everyone sitting at the bandroom disappointed, down at the muddy fields with only the centre line and the trees as our guide........ basketball after band practices........... hide and seek at teckwhye............. we could spend the whole bloody day at teckwhye........ or at lot1 mac........... seeing those disappointed figures........really felt like going up to them, give them a comforting pat, telling them they've already done a good job............ just going up to them and talk........... just talk........... but i can't even do that, feels so awkward, feels so weird......... can't even open my mouth to talk to them.... after the band competition, when we were back at the teckwhye, i wanted to wait, wanted to be up at the bandroom with them, wanted to mix and mingle with the rest of the exmembers, but i just felt damn out of place, somewhat.... just out of place......... and so i decided to leave before the rest of them arrive........ and walked the same long way from teckwhye to the next bus stop........ the way me and yanwen always walked and chatted........ the road which brought me and yanwen to those bunch of ppl......... "hey, do you guys want to join us? we're going to kpt." they shouted across up the slope....... "what's kpt?", "kopitiam lah", "ok, we'll join u"