i cant believe my stupidity........ i brought my working papers out to do while waiting for the bf to study for his exams.... but i didn't bring out my BRAND NEW thumbdrive....... i remembered very clearly that i stuffed my thumbdrive in my pencil case.... but i couldn't find it anywhere in my pencil case....... it might be in my other bag, but i really did remember that the last time i saw it was in my pencil case!!! argh.......i will KILL myself if i lost it cos i've barely used it for like, 2 days?! FUCK lor....... oh my god..... i'm such a careless bitch i hate myself.... so now i've got frigging NOTHING to do while waiting for him.... PLUS i've got plenty of outstanding work to do......... BEST. not in the best of mood these days..... i dont understand... how can any couples continue to be together without any communication. how can any couples last if one love to be autistic. i really dont understand. what for meet up if nobody talks? why do we meet up if both do not appreciate each others' presence? this is getting really tiring. it's just so hard to continue. i dont even feel like talking to him anymore. i dont feel appreciated by him at all. my presence doesn't mean anything to him. my conversations dont mean anything. he dont even bother to even ACT like he's listening. then why do i bother talking to him at all? i'm just waiting for the time for all this to end. maybe i should just move on without him. it's really getting on my nerves. affected me at work. affecting my appetite. affecting my social life. affecting me so so much. how can someone's mood change so fast? how can HIS mood change so fast? how can a guy's mood change so fast? i'm finding it too hard to keep up. forgive me. but i really can't do it anymore. <> not that i don't love him anymore. it's just so hard to love him EVEN more, given the attitude given by him, given the strain that's been put to this relationship by him. i just need someone to listen, to reply, and to interact with. issit really so difficult? I recalled somebody told me of this funny but true conversation. "How can you still love her after all these years? How do you maintain this long relationship?" "my love for her has never changed. My tolerance level did."