was supposed to meet up with vel today..... for the 1st time in my entire life........ i pangsehed someone giving the reason of pms/mood swing, saying i dun feel like going out........ its the 1st time i felt this way too... 1st time i feel tat if i were to go out.. i wun be able to control my emotions like wat i used to do.... for those who know me well... they know i will nvr, nvr ever tell anyone im having pms/moodswings, or nvr show attitude problems to ANYONE (except my bf) cos i can control my emotions (when i'm out with ppl) so damn well... i can be angry, but still laugh and make jokes.... give me a min and the anger will subside.... and no one will ever know... i can curse and swear on my blog, feel so emo on my blog.... but when i'm out with my frens, all those emo will be so kept hidden no one will notice anything.... i wun show my pms, even at hm (most of the time) i will act like nothing happened, unless someone provoked me, i'll just suddenly scream..... taurus are good at keeping their emo down, can 'loon' most of the time... but once they flare up.... they really flare up... i think everyone will be shocked if i ever raise my voice and shout at someone.......well i do curse, swear, spout vulgarities behind the person's back (mostly teachers, bitches, backstabbers), but i will NEVER ever shout in their face, no matter how much they provoke me, even if they slap me i think i might just keep quiet looking postitively pissed, but i will just keep quiet (i hope) and just curse and swear after they are gone...

but today......... dono la......... i dun feel too good.... feel depressed..........felt angry with the world this morning........ for the 1st time ever i msged vel 'can u at least reply or not' just like tat.... i din know wat made me msg tat.... guilty... feel like a emo bitch.....

sometimes i just wish i can just leave everything and take flight......