read on someone's blog abt symptons of pre aging depression........ damn funny..... constant sighing, nostalgic thoughts... and so on......

have u ever felt this way when u're alone and suddenly memories of the past just floods u and u feel like u'll drown soon.....cos u cant seem to get them out of ur head no matter how hard u try.... and all of a sudden, they're gone, like a dam letting out its water..... u urself will feel like pouring with tears.....

yesterday was one such day..... i had a sudden image of myself walking through the JJC side gate from BP, carrying my egg sandwich and 2 bottles of pokka tea (2 bottles cos i'd always call lynn and ask if she wanted to share with me, it was 2 for $1.45 at tat time if rmb correctly) in tat familiar BP plastic bag...... i'd always look at my watch which will always say '9.30'... i rmb break time was 9.25 and i'd always wait till 9.30 to go in, just in time to meet A2 ppl at the locker..... i find myself walking tat familiar route.... all the way to the locker...and finding myself grinning at those familiar faces....... where the boys would always tease me "wah carine, so early again ah"....

the image suddenly changed, i was back in the canteen, buying fried beehoon with lynn for the 4 of us girls..... i recalled telling the auntie "4 packet, 2 extra chilli, 1 chilli and one without chilli" while lynn gets all the chopsticks and starts peppering her beehoon.... cos hers is always the 1st to be ready.... must cook the w/o chilli beehoon first ma....

suddenly i was in the LT, the boys sitting behind us..... me and lynn wasn't listening to miss mandy, we were listening to wat the boys were talking abt.... then i felt someone tapping the shoulders on my right, i turned to the right and saw no one, i knew i was tricked by Farhan again....

we were at mac..... me, lynn and may....... we really didnt planned to meet there, all 3 of us juz happened to be late tat day, like we always did.... but no one'd believe us.....i was having big breakfast... lynn too...... then i saw how lynn cut her egg into soooo many many tiny pieces..... pouring packets after packets of pepper and salt.... and i copied her.... and realised it tastes so much better......

all of a sudden, i realised i was back in my room...........

i cant believe how much i miss A2 and how much i miss the days in JJ........