i dont think i need him anymore................... i can live without him....... with/without him doesnt make much of a difference..... i dont have anything to talk about with him anymore.... nothing........ he doesnt want to go out during wkends, he doesnt want to talk when he sees me, his eye contact doesnt even linger on me for more than 1 second......so why the fuck am i still with him? i dont know. yep, we're both losing interest.... im losing interest in him too........ im beginning to think whether this was a huge mistake after all.... this IS a huge mistake, this IS a complete waste of my time, my youth. i dont need to pay my youth for such a person like him. who doesnt like to have fun, who thinks fun=staying at home play video games. i dont need such a person. i dont want such a person. why the fuck am i such a loser? why? someone tell me. i let so many damn ppl manipulate me, toying around with my feelings all my damn life. why the fuck did i let them do that in the first place? I DONT BLOODY KNOW.

FUCKING STALE LIFE, FUCKING NO LIFE TO BEGIN WITH. FUCK MY LIFE, FUCK ALL THOSE WHO MISTREATED ME ALL MY LIFE. FUCK SCHOOL, FUCK YOU! I DONT NEED ALL THESE RUBBISH IN MY LIFE.

then end it.

ever felt like ending ur life once and for all? bring all the miseries to an end. feel what it's like to go to heaven, or hell. ever thought of who will go for ur funeral? will they remember u forever? visit u at the temple orwherever ur ash's placed at, during ur death anniversaries and ur bdays? ever thought of who u want to assign to maintain ur friendster? a fren's fren died, and her friendster's being kept all along by her friend. telling others where to "visit" her. and every month or so, she'll still receive testimonials telling her how much they miss her. and on her birthdays, everyone will tell her that they've juz gone to visit her. "it's been a month since u've died, and u're still sorely missed. im sorry i couldn't save u, i saw u die." something like that. sad isn't it? nope, think it another way. she's gone to see the lord.

just a passing thought.