there were many a times in this 4 years of relationship when i'd wanted to give up......... to ditch him and move on with my life...... but i didn't have the courage, nor do i really want to end it...... there were many ups and downs but i didn't give up......but sometimes it's so tough to be the only one giving in, to be the only person to give and give and give without getting anything in return..... I KNOW!! i shouldn't want my love to be returned, for love should be unconditional..... blah blah blah bullshit... FUCK THAT BULLSHIT! love SHOULD be returned! u should get back what u put in, if not that's not called love anymore!!! it's just ur one-sidedness!

im going to give up soon, if he still doesn't wanna do anything.... i really dont know what i should do now... i've done all that i should do.... its up to you now...

you dont know how much i love you, or maybe you know it too well, that's why u are taking full advantage of it. i wont let you do that anymore. im like a bottle of champagne ready to pop open anytime. stop shaking me anymore. or i'll really go pop, and hit u on ur head.

how can one hate and love so much at the same fucking time. now i know why sometimes intense love can fester overnight to intense hate. bitterness festered, and grew.