i've been bumming around the office kindly offering my help to anyone who walks in my way........ a very kind gesture....... well i think i'm really very kind...... and hopefully i'll get good karma by doing that..... hur..... i think it feels so much worst having nothing to do, rather than having plenty of things to do........ when i have nothing to do, all i feel like doing is dozing off right infront of my miserably small laptop......

hopefully Bangkok will spice things up between us......... i think somehow or rather, our r'ship is back to square one all over again......... dull, dull, dull, boring, boring boring, tantrums and all kinds of things crop up.... maybe i'm too stressed up over piano exams and work and what not........ maybe he's too stressed up with school.... i really don't know....... we both get irritated very easily.... and i'm kinda sick of it...... especially when he talks to me in a highly impatient tone..... highly impatient, obnoxious, haughty, irritating kind of tone that's really not suitable to use when you supposedly love that someone...... i really hate it, i get really pissed, really irritated with him....... but i just try to be patient, try to swallow my pride and allow his bastardy ways.......

but please, like all of you know, and like i've mentioned many many times before..... my patience limits are not to be messed with........ please do not take advantage of this........ grrr...... for now, i'll just grind my teeth and move on with the "issue" tucked behind at the back of my head......... when i explode, you will know what will happen.

or maybe we have reached a resolution, a stage where we just really can't be bothered anymore....... everybody tells me, beware of getting "used to" each other in a long long relationship..... it'll be something that will kill your love in the end......... when meeting up becomes habitual...... when having dinner becomes habitual, when hugging becomes habitual.... even when saying those 3 letter words becomes habitual......... it'll be the end of it all......... one fine day, it'll be gone....... "habitually consumed goods are highly inelastic in demand" that's what i've learnt from school in the past....... i never knew it could be so true......

i just want to break away from the habitual routines and find something new for both of us to explore.......i just want to break free of the habits..... do something exciting.... to love you more......