Just got my first ever pay in my life, the feeling was indescribable......... it was a crazy feeling... with many crazy impulses........ first day after my pay day and i'm already broke... hahaha... cos i got to start repaying my debts.....my bank was in a "deficit" before i started work... i don't even want to start counting how much money i spent for my work clothes..... and so, I've decided to do something about managing my expenses........, from now on, i'll try as much as i can to keep track of my expenses and make it a point to update it once every few days.... cos it's MY hard earned money now... hur....

it was until yesterday that i realised how tough it was for my dad to support the whole family for 20plus years ALONE, and just realised how heavy his burden was....... i get $15 per day for my allowance, and it amounts to around $500 per month if i include additional transport fees he gives me... and he even paid my uni school fees in hard cash...... and now, i just realised i can only give him $200/mth and my mom $100 per month......... not even close to the allowance they gave me in the past.......... haizz.......... feel quite guilty now.... feel quite "bai jia"......... shit.... i promise to return them whatever i owe as much as i can....... though they always say, you can never return what your parents give you, not even in your lifetime....