Had a great time celebrating sam's bday with the usual gang of people.. haha had a great time saboing samuel.. we gave him a great surprise when the Breekz ppl went to him with a cake singing happy birthday. BUT, we also gave him a huge bday scare. hehehe.. when he went to the toilet, we ran off to the back of the restaurant with our bags and all and left him staring at the bill, stunned. lynn and rach was like laughing non stop. soooooooooo damn funny. even the waitress bakat with us to trick him.

anyways.. how come i never take pictures with my bf with a bday cake before.. how i wish i can put up a picture of me and my bday cake on my msn or online. i always see girls with pics of them and their bfs on their bday online. so jealous. haizzzZZZZzz.

i just dont know what the hell is wrong wif hubby. i really dont know. all i know is he hates talking to me. just give me the cold shoulder everyday.

lantern festival's tml and he's not around to celebrate with me. i remembered 2 yrs ago when i had the most enjoyable lantern festival ever.. when we went nature park and played with wax.. before we were even together.. when we went all the way to farmart to buy candles on his bike and stayed on top of a hill to watch the scenery there..when we went cck park and he asked me to be his gf when i was playing with candles.. when we went nature park and he formed the word 'niang zi' with candles on the day we first held hands..

those were the days.. i think both of us started with playing with wax and candles.. when he taught me to make finger prints on wax..lantern festival brings such fond memories.. and he doesn't seem to remember anything or care.. it's just childish to him tat's all.. it wasn't childish to him 2yrs ago before we got together.. it's childish to him now.

hmmmmmm.... how come i can see my post from preview and not from my favourites' link? weird. prelims are ALMOST over. P8 is UNSEEN, so don't need to study.

had a fun time shopping with the girls today, but soooooooooooooooo tiring. they seem to be able to walk non stop. sakae was so filling, my stomach almost burst with sushis. my blog childish meh? don't care lah. wat the hell.

FUCK!

bahahahhahaa.

someone tell me what's happening to baoyue? why is she like that these days? did she just broke up with gerald? *choi touch wood*

but anyways, where's that sunny side of baoyue i always see? nowadays i just don't seem to see any 'light' from her. she always look so lostform. makes me wonder what gerald did to her. ok maybe i shouldn't criticise him, cos i don't know what's been happening btw them.

actually, i do hope u guys will confide me when u guys are in trouble. maybe u all just feel i'm too 'siao' to listen hard enough and will just laugh it off. but i will lah. whenever u guys need me i'll just lend a listening ear and a shoulder for you. the other shoulder reserved for my bf. :P

anyways, miss my hubby soooooooooooooooo much. wish he was there at sakae today. anyways, i'm looking forward to tml, and sunday's swimming. just hope u won't pangseh me on sunday. love my little bao bei alot. *muackz*

mushy.

haizZZ.... Prelims' driving me nuts.. i already went crazy studying econs for the past few days.. and i thank my lucky stars that at least 2 questions that i spotted came out. but i've this strong feeling i'm still gonna fail those 2questions. the other question i can go and die lah. i din even write even 1 whole page of answers. i dono how to do that question at all. ARGH. Now's P1's turn to drive me crazy. Othello was sooooooooooooooo damn long ago. There are so many bloody things in Hard Times, and i know NUTS about Silas Marner, so i can prepare to go to hell for tml lah.

i wondered how i could do my lit during my O levels. it all seemed so damn easy man. i could find out so many quotes and themes from Julius Caesar, but why can't i just concentrate on lit for my A levels? it's one of my core subjects too leh... ARGH.. FUCK LAH!

FUCK FUCK FUCK!

why am i so wrong abt life getting boring...

yes, life's boring wif studying studying and more studying.... but it's so 'happening' to quarrel wif my bf right.

what ever happened to his 'love you ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT'? since when did it degrade to only ALOT? and the strange thing is, i din notice till recently. what's happening to us? why are our msgs getting harsher and harsher by the day? why are our tones so harsh on the phone? why do our tones change so completely during and only during weekends?

did he really miss me at all? he din say so. he din type it out. he din msg me. i'm stupid, i know. i need him to spell it out to tell me tat he misses me. cos i really can't sense it in his tone on the phone. provided he even talks to me on the phone.

there i was saying we haven't been quarrelling for quite awhile and there we are quarrelling today again.. i feel so fuck. life just can't get better for me. i really hate him. he's just playing around wif my feelings. he's just giving me false hopes everyday by calling me or msging me. cos everytime i see his call i would expect a very sweet bf who's missed his gf alot cos he's in camp. but no. all i got was a fiery fucker, block of wood who don't even bother to talk. all he can always say is 'u talk ah, i just listen to you talk.' FUCK. why can he always bear to do this to me. am i his gf or not? does he really miss me in camp like he always claimed during weekends? why does he treat me so nicely only during weekends when he doesn't give a damn when he's inside? or everytme over the phone? did he treat me nicely on weekends only because i always buy him gifts? and he's guilty he din buy me anything and just think that he can get away wif it by treating me only a TAT BIT nicer?

he's just playing around with my feelings. or did he want something else from me during weekends? tat's why he feels that he must treat me better. wat the hell. hate my life.

feel like decorating my wrist wif some 5cm by 5cm cuts. or jumping off some building, and not killing myself but killing someone else inside a car instead. tat taiwan guy who wanted to commit suicide is really a joker. he din kill himself, but killed someone else in the car when he crashed down to the car. twist.

Dear blog...

life's getting better actually... no quarrels with my bf... *choi touch wood* hahah.. he's getting sweeter by the day.. hmm.. but his msgs are all forwarded msgs from his frens lor.. not like his last time msgs so sweet and deep from his heart..

had fun studying today though... ran abt finding a place to study and ended up only really starting studying at 5plus at cck cc.. nice quiet place to study.. too quiet.. :P

got to do econs tml!!!! i must stop physical geog... it's driving me nuts.

and i'm really sorry i din wait for u in school today..... me and maybelline just feel so sick of gp.. and i was so tired.. sorry.. feel guilty....

yeah.. managed to study ABIT. well at least i studied something right. studied half of coastal set1, and erm. rocks and landform set1 only. i can't even continue!! whenever i bring myself to my books i'll just switch off after awhile and i will need to change chapters. how...can someone just teach me how to study?



rachel.. don't sad.. don't fret.. don't mang zang.. don't worry be happy.. i'll be here. all ur frens will be there for you. no worries. smile. i wanna see a happier rachel. you're just too stressed up with everything, u need a break. let's go shopping? hahaha.. =)

one day passed and nothing done.. i'm wasting my time.. another day nearer to prelims. it's so sucky. there's so much to cover!!!! how the hell am i supposed to cover so many things in just less than 2wks! minus weekends!!! cos i hafta meet my bf!!


on a lighter note....


yeah, i'm meeting my bf tml for our 23rd mth together!!! yes, we reconciled AGAIN. AS USUAL. wats the prob wif us man. we quarrel abt the same things every alternate days. and prob is, we dun get tired of it. ARGH. shit heads. dumbass. fucks.

10 ways to kiss..

1 - ICE KISS
Celebrate the first day of winter with an ice kiss. Put an ice cube in your mouth until your mouth becomes cold. Remove the cube, track down your love and plant a kiss that will send chills!



- 2 - ELECTRIC SHOCK KISS
The two of you shuffle your feet furiously on carpet. When you both have an electric charge, lean over and slowly aim for each other's lips. With your lips about one-half inch apart, move in even slower until a spark jumps between teh two of you. Instantly after this happens, kiss one another...the please us the kiss right after the shock!


- 3 - CAMPING KISS
On a beautiful cool night, you and your love crawl into a sleeping bag outside. Cuddle and kiss.


- 4 - REWARD KISS
Next time your love performs some disliked home chore like cleaning the bathroom, mowing the lawn, or taking out the garbage, show your appreciation by tucking a candy kiss in a strategic location.


- 5 - POST-IT KISS
Use 3M Post-It notes to make a trail through your house that leads to your lips. Put a lipstick print or lip symbol on each note with an arrow pointing to the next note. You, of course, are at the end of the trail with a Post-It note over your lips that says, "LIFT FOR KISS"


- 6 - KISSING IN THE RAIN
The next time it rains, grab an umbrella, rain coats, and your love. Then go outside and kiss in the rain. If the spirit of the kiss moves you, remove the umbrella and kiss 'till the two of you are soaked.


- 7 - HERSHEY`S KISSES
Prepare a small bag of Hershey`s kisses and slip it into your love's purse, briefcase, or lunchbox. Attach a note that reads "SORRY, I CAN'T BE THERE IN PERSON, BUT THINK OF ME AND DO THE FOLLOWING: Close your eyes and place the candy between your lips. Drop the candy in your mouth and roll it on your tongue until it melts.


- 8 - TRACY AND HEPBURN KISS
Make flash cards, and the two of you re-enact the following kissing scene from WOMAN OF THE YEAR


(1942): (Reclining face to face on a couch, woman on top.) SAM: Something I've got to get off my chest.
TESS: I'm too heavy?
SAM: I love you.
TESS: Me, too.
SAM: Positive.
TESS: That's nice. Even when I'm sober?
SAM: Even when you're brilliant. (The two of you kiss.)


- 9 - KISSES IN A BALLOON
Cut out small red tissue lips, and place them inside an opaque balloon filled with helium (any party store could do this for you) Tie the balloon to your love's chair at dinner. Desert is a shower of kisses delivered by a sharp pin.


- 10 - TOLL KISS
Next time you are driving your love somewhere, stop the car before crossing a bridge or going through a tunnel, and say the toll must be paid before you can go any further. Of course, the toll cost in one kiss

I miss you.


I miss your warm eyes,
the way you listened and cared.
I miss your kisses
and all that we shared.


I miss you.


I miss the touch of your hand,
so reassuring and sincere,
and the moments we spent together,
that I hold dear.


I miss you.


I miss all of the caring
things you did,
and spending the evening
alone with you.


I miss you.


I look forward to tomorrow
knowing that then,
I'll be one day closer
to seeing you again.


note all the Ds.

YUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD. WTF. I just read Melissa's blog and JUST KNEW james and evonne made out in the classroom
?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUH???? wat the fuck??????? and someone filmed down the entire thing? HUH??? OEIIIIIIIII lynnette rachel whoever!! how come u guys never tell me???????? Mel said when she announced it to the class u guys gave them the duh i knew it long ago look like it happened century ago!! *feels damn ba gua* my god. i can't imagine. i don't want to. my god. quote from mel. they are the highest form of geekdom ever. argh! *feels bad abt ba guaing, but. it's so truly unbelievable, so yucks*


and i read baoyue's blog too. i'm pissed at that girl for doing that to yue. i'm pissed at whoever passer-by is who told baoyue that she shouldn't be a green eyed MONSTER. who is she to tell yue that she shud trust her bf. yue's just saying she's pissed at tat girl wat, she din say she's pissed at her bf wat. it's morally wrong to put on a blog to say she think she has a place in someone else's bf's heart. ya, i know it's not wrong to say u are in love with wif someone who has a gf. but it's just wrong to put it up publicly that u even tHINK other ppl's bf likes you!!!! yue's not the one behaving like a green eyed monster!!! TAT GIRL IS THE ONE LOR!!! wtf. i'm pissed at something that is non of my business. wat the hell. bleh.

hmmm.. got this from baoyue's blog who got it frmo QQ's blog.. my bf shud read this.

"Couples who do not refrain from premarital sex are not likely to refrain from extramarital sex. Sexual attitudes are not likely to change after marriage. If people engage in sex before marriage, they are more likely to compare, suspect, cheat on their partners, and have subsequent sex partners"

@ when only intimacy (feelings of the warmth of emotional bonding, willingness to share private thoughts with one's beloved) is present, it's friendship(liking).

@ when only passion (physical attraction and desires for sexual involvement) is present, it is infatuation.

@ In a long term relationship where there is no passion or intimacy, it's empty love.

@ In a long term relationship where there is intimacy and commitment (concious decision to be faithful in the long term regardless of the circumstances), it's compassionate love.

@ when someone hero-worships from afar, it's fatuous(lusty) love.

@ when there is passion and intimacy with no commitment, it's romantic love.

@ The most fulfilling type of love has all three components, and Sternberg calls it consummate love.
so what do you think?~ what are you looking out for?~ is it now a better definition for everybody?~

i can't even meet my frens now. he got pissed cos i met them. maybe he's just not happy he's inside PA while i'm outside. he keeps thinking i'm having fun out there but it's really not. how i wish i'm inside PA wif him now rather than suffering loneliness and fucks out here. he just dun understand my plight now. i have so many things to do and i haven't even started doing anything. prelims is 2weeks time and i haven't done even 1/99 of things that i should have done. he's just so selfish. he just wont talk to me. whenever he does that to me i just end up with sleepless nights and more sleepless nights. and i won't be able to do anything. how pathetic can i be. why must he do this to me.


he got pissed at my blog too. god knows why. he's just not happy i miss my frens. and so suay he only read the 1st page when i wrote abt my frens. he din read many many pages back where i wrote ALL abt him. rachel, lynn, sam, u all should know right. it was all abt him right. my memories go BACKWARDS lor, i think about the most recent things first before i think abt the most past right. that's why i wrote everything on my blog in chronological order right. i think abt him first then it set me going on thinking back to my sec days right. and when i start recalling my memories i can't stop.


why can't he understand that i'm thinking abt my memories cos i'm lonely, fucking lonely. if i dun think abt my memories then what else can i think of? wat else can i do? No rachel, dun tell me i can study instead, cos i can't. i tried but really can't. i can't help it but keep 'wallowing in tears'. or 'wallowing in my memories'. watever.


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THE WORLD LAH!

hubby just comes in and out of my life during weekends.. in between.. i've got no life at all to start with.. but he will always be on my mind.. hubby i miss you.. again..

Really FUCK FACE. everytime he comes my hse he just gives me the fuck face.

yes.. finally waited till tml.. can see him again..

Singapore idol turned out to be better than i expected.. i thought those contestants will be nothing compared to those ang moh idols.. but i was wrong.. they had at least some quality to compare with. or compare to? timdore, correct me. my english's really getting shitty nowadays. i can't even spell anymore. what the fuck.

anyway, i was really impressed by the 'butch' in S'pore Idol, her song really 'swayed' me. but i sort of wished she wouldn't get in so Florence can cut her hair infront of everyone. haiz, pity.

sian...................... lonely and only more lonely..... hubby you will come and look at my blog right? you promised remember? i know u will come and see my blog.. i know.. i hope...

really miss u alot.. really..