i can't even meet my frens now. he got pissed cos i met them. maybe he's just not happy he's inside PA while i'm outside. he keeps thinking i'm having fun out there but it's really not. how i wish i'm inside PA wif him now rather than suffering loneliness and fucks out here. he just dun understand my plight now. i have so many things to do and i haven't even started doing anything. prelims is 2weeks time and i haven't done even 1/99 of things that i should have done. he's just so selfish. he just wont talk to me. whenever he does that to me i just end up with sleepless nights and more sleepless nights. and i won't be able to do anything. how pathetic can i be. why must he do this to me.


he got pissed at my blog too. god knows why. he's just not happy i miss my frens. and so suay he only read the 1st page when i wrote abt my frens. he din read many many pages back where i wrote ALL abt him. rachel, lynn, sam, u all should know right. it was all abt him right. my memories go BACKWARDS lor, i think about the most recent things first before i think abt the most past right. that's why i wrote everything on my blog in chronological order right. i think abt him first then it set me going on thinking back to my sec days right. and when i start recalling my memories i can't stop.


why can't he understand that i'm thinking abt my memories cos i'm lonely, fucking lonely. if i dun think abt my memories then what else can i think of? wat else can i do? No rachel, dun tell me i can study instead, cos i can't. i tried but really can't. i can't help it but keep 'wallowing in tears'. or 'wallowing in my memories'. watever.


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THE WORLD LAH!