my life is so unproductive.. stagnant.. boring.. no life.. haizzZZZz...
im bored..
maybe shud i try to write novels wif my so bloody bad english?
pls.. someone stop me.. if i start.. everyone's gonna throw rotten eggs at me..
my life WAS happening... WAS...
All my life i've just always been the person who gets pushed around by everyone.. I live my life for others.. all my life i've always been the middle-man.. and always get into alot of undeserved troubles for that.. im always the one who solves other ppl's woes and troubles.. everyone but myself.. im always the one who listens to their troubles, be their listening post.. im always the one behind the scenes to help pull strings for many couples.. i was always the one who will be willing to sacrifice whoever i had crush on, to any of my good friends.. but it always came to a point such that whenever i needed help, no one seems to be there... till now.. at least i've got my bf to rely on... or do i?
suddenly felt like a loser.. and realised i've been a real loser all these while.. being the soft-hearted-push-around-dun-dare-to-do-anything-carine. or was i really really like tat? i remembered a couple of times when i did flare up.. but tat was only once in a blue moon... someone tell me whether is this a good thing or a bad thing? and yes, i admit. i dun have my own opinions. my opinions are my fren's opinions. my sense of fashion was influenced by all my friends combined. or do i EVEN HAVE ANY SENSE OF FASHION?
or am i just a pessismist? if i am, im a very good one.
and i only vent my frustrations on my family members. sometimes i really feel so sorry but i cant bare to say it out. i dun dare. i dun like to talk to them nicely, makes me feel awkward. cos they really are the dearest to me. i know im just a very very bad daughter and sis. i cant help it. i always scream at my alrdy-so-ke-lian lil' bro.. he's always alone at hm.. he doesn't have anyone to talk to except us.. whom only goes hm occasionally.. whom will only scream at him when we go home..minxiong really sleeps very very very late at night.. at ard 12..or later... sometimes i really wonder if he's actually waiting for me or my bro to go hm so he'll have someone to talk to... and he really loves my bf.. LOVES... my bf is the only one who WONT EVER scold him.. and will always take care of him.. teach him phonics.. i always feel so damn guilty.. being his sister.. i wont even bother teaching him to read.. i wont even bother to talk to him.. it's nt tat i dun bother.. it's just tat i always get damn frustrated when im home.. i always wanna get out of the bloody hse and get out of the way of my mum's path.. she's a damn bloody good nagger.. she nags and nags and nags abt the same thing over and over agn... and wat's worst.. she always gets angry for NUTHING. i believe she might actually be going thru an early phase of geng nian qi. seriously, sometimes i really cant stand her. and her mood swings is like. once every min. she can be talking sooooooooooooooo damn nice this min, and ranting and ranting on and on the nxt. and one thing, i cant stand her superstitiousness. she stuffs dono-wat leaves in my bag, wallet everytime. sometimes i just throw them away. but i feel bad after tat. and she kept calling me to warn me abt April 9th, THE DAY when some disaster will happen. which is like tml ah. and she's arldy called me like, 5times today alrdy? to ask me to avoid going out tml if i can, to be careful when i go out, to stay in buildings if i do go out. GOD. STAY IN BUILDINGS. can u believe it. how superstitious can she be? and she actually goes to "wen shen" one lor. those ppl who invites spirits of monkey god or guan yin into their bodies. i really dono whether they are real or not, most prob rach will say they're nt, but sometimes i'd rather believe there's such things than there isn't, rite? just to be safe? i wouldnt' want to jump to such conclusions.
watching hse of fury made me want to listen to my mum more.. just in case wat she's been trying to tell me all these yrs have been true all the while.. but all along i've been saying she's bull-shitting..
im bored..
maybe shud i try to write novels wif my so bloody bad english?
pls.. someone stop me.. if i start.. everyone's gonna throw rotten eggs at me..
my life WAS happening... WAS...
All my life i've just always been the person who gets pushed around by everyone.. I live my life for others.. all my life i've always been the middle-man.. and always get into alot of undeserved troubles for that.. im always the one who solves other ppl's woes and troubles.. everyone but myself.. im always the one who listens to their troubles, be their listening post.. im always the one behind the scenes to help pull strings for many couples.. i was always the one who will be willing to sacrifice whoever i had crush on, to any of my good friends.. but it always came to a point such that whenever i needed help, no one seems to be there... till now.. at least i've got my bf to rely on... or do i?
suddenly felt like a loser.. and realised i've been a real loser all these while.. being the soft-hearted-push-around-dun-dare-to-do-anything-carine. or was i really really like tat? i remembered a couple of times when i did flare up.. but tat was only once in a blue moon... someone tell me whether is this a good thing or a bad thing? and yes, i admit. i dun have my own opinions. my opinions are my fren's opinions. my sense of fashion was influenced by all my friends combined. or do i EVEN HAVE ANY SENSE OF FASHION?
or am i just a pessismist? if i am, im a very good one.
and i only vent my frustrations on my family members. sometimes i really feel so sorry but i cant bare to say it out. i dun dare. i dun like to talk to them nicely, makes me feel awkward. cos they really are the dearest to me. i know im just a very very bad daughter and sis. i cant help it. i always scream at my alrdy-so-ke-lian lil' bro.. he's always alone at hm.. he doesn't have anyone to talk to except us.. whom only goes hm occasionally.. whom will only scream at him when we go home..minxiong really sleeps very very very late at night.. at ard 12..or later... sometimes i really wonder if he's actually waiting for me or my bro to go hm so he'll have someone to talk to... and he really loves my bf.. LOVES... my bf is the only one who WONT EVER scold him.. and will always take care of him.. teach him phonics.. i always feel so damn guilty.. being his sister.. i wont even bother teaching him to read.. i wont even bother to talk to him.. it's nt tat i dun bother.. it's just tat i always get damn frustrated when im home.. i always wanna get out of the bloody hse and get out of the way of my mum's path.. she's a damn bloody good nagger.. she nags and nags and nags abt the same thing over and over agn... and wat's worst.. she always gets angry for NUTHING. i believe she might actually be going thru an early phase of geng nian qi. seriously, sometimes i really cant stand her. and her mood swings is like. once every min. she can be talking sooooooooooooooo damn nice this min, and ranting and ranting on and on the nxt. and one thing, i cant stand her superstitiousness. she stuffs dono-wat leaves in my bag, wallet everytime. sometimes i just throw them away. but i feel bad after tat. and she kept calling me to warn me abt April 9th, THE DAY when some disaster will happen. which is like tml ah. and she's arldy called me like, 5times today alrdy? to ask me to avoid going out tml if i can, to be careful when i go out, to stay in buildings if i do go out. GOD. STAY IN BUILDINGS. can u believe it. how superstitious can she be? and she actually goes to "wen shen" one lor. those ppl who invites spirits of monkey god or guan yin into their bodies. i really dono whether they are real or not, most prob rach will say they're nt, but sometimes i'd rather believe there's such things than there isn't, rite? just to be safe? i wouldnt' want to jump to such conclusions.
watching hse of fury made me want to listen to my mum more.. just in case wat she's been trying to tell me all these yrs have been true all the while.. but all along i've been saying she's bull-shitting..
Baby Ticker
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