i'll be starting work tomorrow...... my first ever perm job....... apprehensive........ alot of things going through my mind right now and i can't think well.... i'm apprehensive about alot of things....... i'm afraid of leaving first impressions to anyone..... i'm afraid i'll have no friends, no lunch kakis, afraid of office politics, afraid of doing the wrong things........ haizz........ so many things...... afraid i can't cope with the work, afraid of cant coping work with piano lessons...... so fucked up....

and i just came back from visiting my grandfather at the hospital........ it's quite serious, his heart is getting weaker...... his kidneys are in very bad condition.... prays that he recovers soon........ and i really do think hospitals have very bad air..... as in, alot of bacteria...... the moment i stepped out of the hospital i felt really groggy and felt like puking..... and my head's throbbing badly now....

and did i mention i've got very strict dresscode for work? i couldn't believe it when i saw the stupid dresscode thing... they expect us to wear COURTSHOES. wtf. YUCKS. i dont care ah i just wear covered shoes and see what they say.... cant even wear those nice looking dress shoes ah...... shit...."strictly no dress sandals allowed" that's what they say.... must wear formal clothes, even on fridays if you're meeting your clients.... but i don't care too, i just bought quite a number of sleeveless-but-official-looking tops.... not VERY formal, but well, will look formal if i match with a black skirt or pants lah.... DONT CARE LAH... wah lao... everyday wear long sleeve formal tops i will die ah.....