oh man....... just saw the bf's sis blog........ her life is SOOOO happening ah! I wish i can be like her...... always trying out new things, always enjoying the life to the fullest, always going somewhere new........ i wish i can do that some day...... there are so so so many things i've yet to try..... like sky diving (but i'm really really afraid of heights), diving, mountain climbing, water rafting, surfing.... and the never ending list goes on...... the most important thing is trying to make it a point to go overseas AT LEAST once a year.... or if my budget allows, more than once a year would be more than wonderful..... but...... HAIZZZZzzz....... i'm stucked in this rut for another 1 and a half years...... this is so shitty........ there's really alot of frigging things i wanna do..... i just can't put words on it..... the bf's not very keen though....... i might be too adventurous for him.... hahahhaha... the boy's too timid. :P

anyway, i'm so so so looking forward to Thailand trip! i'll be away from 14th to 18th!!!! Exhilarated!

so frigging dead beat every single day............ my life's so "happening" every single day.... argh!! really so frigging tired! i dont wanna work anymore!! and work plus piano lessons aren't the best combination.....i dont want to imagine how the fuck am i going to survive the Audit Peak Period at the end of the year! guess what, my job allocation is already out till next year ok..... i shan't repeat...... or maybe i shall... i'm PACKED with job allocations. full to the brim for the months from november to March......every single bloody week, including my favourite CHINESE NEW YEAR WEEK..... fuck..... i'm so so so gonna die....... i might have to bloody muthafucking WORK on chinese new year eve........ oh fuck.... someone save me....

Wish List

1. Pair of Good shoes
2. Name card holder (buy in Thailand)
3. Skirts
4. Fancl Facial foam wash
5. Mineral Blusher

6. More Clothes

Just got my first ever pay in my life, the feeling was indescribable......... it was a crazy feeling... with many crazy impulses........ first day after my pay day and i'm already broke... hahaha... cos i got to start repaying my debts.....my bank was in a "deficit" before i started work... i don't even want to start counting how much money i spent for my work clothes..... and so, I've decided to do something about managing my expenses........, from now on, i'll try as much as i can to keep track of my expenses and make it a point to update it once every few days.... cos it's MY hard earned money now... hur....

it was until yesterday that i realised how tough it was for my dad to support the whole family for 20plus years ALONE, and just realised how heavy his burden was....... i get $15 per day for my allowance, and it amounts to around $500 per month if i include additional transport fees he gives me... and he even paid my uni school fees in hard cash...... and now, i just realised i can only give him $200/mth and my mom $100 per month......... not even close to the allowance they gave me in the past.......... haizz.......... feel quite guilty now.... feel quite "bai jia"......... shit.... i promise to return them whatever i owe as much as i can....... though they always say, you can never return what your parents give you, not even in your lifetime....

it's a fucking bloody CHORE to wake up every single morning........ never once was i willing to drag myself out of my bed...... never once was i willing to go to work....... i wonder how this can last for the rest of my life till i bloody retire..... i might just DIE...... i wanna set up a business and be my own boss..... at the very least i'll get to enjoy my own work..... rather than slogging my life out for others........ i miss school already........ after working for less than a month........ SERIOUSLY, school was WAY much better........ working life sucks..... you get no freedom, no fun, no social life and no time for boyfriend......... Those ppl who can Work Hard and Play Hard, I really admire them........ cos if i work hard, i'll have no bloody strength left to even drag myself home, much less go out and "Play"...... and really, i can't tell you how much i hate taking MRT every single day....... i might develop some kind of Train-phobia or something........ i used to love taking trains rather than buses..... but nowadays, I HATE THE FUCKING PUBLIC TRANSPORT. BF get the hint! CHAUFFEUR ME FROM WORK AND I'LL LOVE YOU TO BITS AND PIECES!

I had a terrible experience on the bloody train today.......... I decided to try a new route and take train from bukit batok mrt station instead of from my normal route from Clementi....... there was one irritating guy who kept SQUEEZING in despite the fact that the bloody train is already so crammed... in the end i was packed like a bloody sardine between 4 ppl......... wtf........ there was a melange of smells in the train....... i could smell ppl's hair, sweat smell, armpit smell, perfume and even some guy's hair cream......... there was this bloody strange sour smell that i couldn't stand.... and i don't even wanna imagine where the hell did it come from.... fucking YUCKS. ARGH. I bloody HATE THE MORNING CROWD.

hey guys! i'll be setting up another blog at http://carinez1.livejournal.com/

i'll still be using this blog, just that whenever i'm at work i'll be blogging from livejournal.... when i get back or when i have the time i'll just transfer my entries to blogger......so if u dont see me updating here often, go visit the other one, u might find some updates.......... REMEMBER i'll still be here! Just ADD ANOTHER link lah........ won't take up much of ur time.. hee

I can finally squeeze out some time to blog a little........ been rather busy this week and last week... not really due to work, but piano lessons.... i got back home around 10 plus going 11 yesterday cos i went for piano revision at admiralty... just realised it's damn far from my house can........ anyway, been the "Admin Queen" at work these few days cos everybody's been approaching me to help them do admin stuffs..... ranging from sending letters to printing and scanning and sometimes tough accounting stuff which i'm always afraid to handle......... *Sighs* this is what happens to me when i "Gie Kiang" busybody offer my help to everyone..... now everyone really comes to me whenever they need help....... shit.........

been working for almost a month now..... i'll be getting my FIRST PAY SOON!! YIPPEE!!! really can't wait...... so far, there's a lesson i've learnt....... Whatever you learn in school, REALLY APPLIES at work............ For auditing or accounting students........ REALLY everything i learnt from school, i can apply at work.... which really amazes me.... cos normally whatever shit we learnt in JC or Secondary were to me, never really important..... but those accounting things we've learnt, we really cannot forget and throw back to teachers..... i'll find someday read through my notes while i can... someday la, hahah... maybe never.. .... maybe in Sept or what... when it's super off peak...........

it's rather irritating at work sometimes, cos whenever i feel the urge to blog, i can't....... cos blogger's blocked but livejournal and wordpress are not blocked i think, yahoo mail is blocked, but hotmail's not.... friendster's blocked, facebook blocked, youtube blocked.... the only blog not blocked is Huiyee's blog!! hahaha... cos it's a website not .blogspot.com......oh yah, MSN's blocked too........ so EVERYONE in the office uses Skype.... so anyone with skype, PLEASE ADD ME at geo_a_go14@hotmail.com !!!! cos i get bored to death at work sometimes.... but when i got work to do, i get overloaded! there's this contradiction sometimes...... sometimes when i don't have any work to do, i complain that we're not given the opportunity to perform, but when i get work to do, i'll be afraid that i can't hand up my work on time, or i'll get too stumped by the difficulty of the task and have to resort to asking ppl for help......not that i'm afraid to ask for help... but normally when ppl approach me, it's cos they want me to help them so they can save time!... but letting me do the work may even extend the time cos i dont know my stuff well enough,..... *SIGHS*

anyway, if u wanna download skype, can load it from here: http://www.skype.com/intl/en/download/skype/windows/

Please download and add me so we can chat at work!! geo_a_go14@hotmail.com!

i took MC yesterday for work... was really sick, down with fever, super super runny nose, cough and sorethroat... almost died at work on monday... so i couldn't take it and took mc on tuesday.... it was considered one of the rare occasions when i took mc when i was really really sick, hahahah not geng one.... today wasn't any better.... my nose was still runny, my throat burning and my cough still wouldn't go away at work..... everything tasted like paper........

the worst thing was i forgot to ask the doctor for a non-drowsy medicine... so i couldn't have it when i was working.... if not i might end up swaying away infront of the computer.... the drowsy effect is THAT strong.... i had the medicine yesterday and it worked like a sleeping pill... slept my whole afternoon away and still could sleep at night.... almost couldn't wake up this morning....

3rd wk of work only take mc......... tsk tsk tsk.... but taking mc was SO SHIOK AH! felt so wonderful sleeping at home and taking my own sweet time doing my own things...... didn't know staying at home itself would feel so good....... and to think i'd always wanted to go out and play when i was a teenager...... tsk tsk, feel so old now i can feel my joints cracking....

anyway, i heard from my colleagues taking mc is darn easy at my company........... so tempting leh..... and SO BLOODY CHEAP! I only paid $5! i got the dono what subsidised card! so shiok... tat means no matter how much my consultation fee i only pay $5... it only made me want to take more mc ah....... hahah..... but NO!! i make it a point not to go back to my old ways......... eh, my work cannot play play leh....... got alot of deadlines to meet..... even if take mc also must hand up the assignment on time....... not schooling anymore, can anyhow anyhow.......

i think waiting for car servicing should be ranked no. 1 for time wasting. COMPLETE waste of time. fucked up. waited for like fucking 5 hrs from 10am till 3 plus and STILL havent finish yet. should have just gone home and sleep. instead we just went to the library to help the bf do his stupid work. wah lan eh. they said it'll be ready by 2pm, and it's already 3pm it's still not ready yet. we reached here by 2pm and waited for 1hr plus and they are still not done with the servicing. wah lan eh.

It was a tough week at work. plenty of files to read through, plenty of consolidations to be done. plenty of things to do. ended up having OT for almost everyday. it was my very first audit assignment and i admit i had plenty of troubles doing everything. i am VERY lucky, according to my other colleague, to have such a good auditor-in-charge for my first assignment. during her time, those auditors in charge were all crazy mad women who shout at you when they get stressed up by work. well, i'm really thankful cos my auditor in charge is really such a nice lady who teaches me every single thing with SO MUCH patience. i can ask the stupidest thing, (to them it'll really be a stupid insignificant thing but to me everything is new and significant k) but my supervisor will always answer my queries with lots and lots of patience. LUCKY me. i've got very bad memory and bad organising skills. if not for her and other patient colleagues in my team, i bet i'll screw up everything. and the thing is, it really was a very EASY assignment cos it's only a small company with 3 ppl. HAHAHAH, and i found it tough already. SHIT.

anyway, i'm loving my colleagues very much. for now. cos all of them are so warm and friendly. but my bf said he bets i'll get bullied by my seniors. we'll see about it. hur.

working life is really damn tough.... it's not about the work (yet), but it's the getting up real early and going home real late part...... it's so so so damn tiring..... i need my more-than-8-hours sleep everyday... but now, i think 8 hrs of sleep already considered a luxury.... i suddenly miss the school's handmade noodles... *sighs*

and i think working will make me blind.... my eyes get so so so tired after staring at the comp in a daze the whole day... anyway, this shall me the last blog post of the week.... cos working makes me stay away from the comp when i get home... hur...

i feel so so so so drained out now i already feel like quitting my job....... but too bad, the contract's signed and im locked in....... i'm like so fucking tired every single day i feel like sleeping in the office........ point is, i CAN sleep in the office cos basically i've been bumming around with nothing to do for the past 2 days.... it's really sickening cos u look like an idiot at the "hotdesk" where everyone's so busy with their work.... it's really called the "hotdesks" cos as audit associates (the most most junior in the company), we are not allocated seats... so we hafta go earlier to book the seats, if not we'll end up very far away from the ppl.....

but i've been always late anyway, for 5-10mins everyday... but i dont care lah... i just squeeze in and try to share seats with them.... i've been very very very tired cos i've been sleeping at 1 plus and waking up at 6.45am everyday... and i always have something on after work, so by the time i reach home it'll be like 9plus like NOW. (yep, i just reached home from piano lesson).... Tuesday after work i went for the Tuba gathering at Swensens.... Wed met up with the bf for dinner at Botak Jones (it still sucks except for the Whoopass fries), Today, i had to go piano lesson till 8.30... and i took cab home.... finally cannot take it anymore, i HAD TO take cab home... my legs are SOOOO DAMN BLISTERED by the fucking new heels......... and i'm so tired and lazy to take bus.....

so broke..... din realise i've got to work till the end of the month before i get my FIRST PAY. gosh.

work has been quite ok so far... nothing to do except for today... today was rather "challenging" cos i VOLUNTEERED myself to do work for my senior ok.... it was SUPPOSED to be quite easy lah, doing Profit and loss accounts and Balance sheets, BUT it took me like 3 hrs to complete.... feel so loserish... cos the fucking numbers cannot tally... and she said DIE DIE must tally.... tat's what i hate about accounting.... you can spend 5 hrs finding out the real answer and realise that the answer was actually very easy to get.... other than the work, my colleagues are mostly wonderful ppl.... i get to lunch with different ppl every single day cos there's SO MANY ppl there and everyone goes lunch with each other, everybody knows each other..... the lunch part has always been fun.....

today, i was brought to a chocolate confectionary shop near my office... DAMN COOL AH!!! they sell all the Hot chocolate satches which taste DAMN NICE!... they very clever hor, put a chocolate shop there to tempt all the office ladies.... can make hot chocolate in office and satsify the ladies' sweet tooths.... and they sell the weirdest kind of chocolates.... Tomato chocolates, durian chocolates and mango chocolates.... all tasted damn nice ah....so tomorrow i'll be bringing my cup there to make my hot chocolate in office! yay! and they got Julie biscuits in the office.... my favourite...... free one....

so far colleagues all nice except the stupid IT ppl.... the IT ppl really damn hot tempered.... can't stand them..... pui...... but they know we can't live without them.... and we really can't live without them... hahha... all sure die if they quit together...

i'll be starting work tomorrow...... my first ever perm job....... apprehensive........ alot of things going through my mind right now and i can't think well.... i'm apprehensive about alot of things....... i'm afraid of leaving first impressions to anyone..... i'm afraid i'll have no friends, no lunch kakis, afraid of office politics, afraid of doing the wrong things........ haizz........ so many things...... afraid i can't cope with the work, afraid of cant coping work with piano lessons...... so fucked up....

and i just came back from visiting my grandfather at the hospital........ it's quite serious, his heart is getting weaker...... his kidneys are in very bad condition.... prays that he recovers soon........ and i really do think hospitals have very bad air..... as in, alot of bacteria...... the moment i stepped out of the hospital i felt really groggy and felt like puking..... and my head's throbbing badly now....

and did i mention i've got very strict dresscode for work? i couldn't believe it when i saw the stupid dresscode thing... they expect us to wear COURTSHOES. wtf. YUCKS. i dont care ah i just wear covered shoes and see what they say.... cant even wear those nice looking dress shoes ah...... shit...."strictly no dress sandals allowed" that's what they say.... must wear formal clothes, even on fridays if you're meeting your clients.... but i don't care too, i just bought quite a number of sleeveless-but-official-looking tops.... not VERY formal, but well, will look formal if i match with a black skirt or pants lah.... DONT CARE LAH... wah lao... everyday wear long sleeve formal tops i will die ah.....

i'm so so so so tired now....... legs aching like hell.... finally managed to find time to go shopping today for my work clothes.... and i managed to get alot of tops i really like for a good bargain.... i'm like so FRIGGING BROKE NOW... u can't imagine how broke........ argh..... went to take passport size photo this morning, cos i just realised i got to hand in passport size photo for my work pass... and i've used up my favourite passport size photo for all the stupid interviews........ super wasted...... and those jobs were all sucky.... bought 7 tops for $130 woohoo.... but 2 were casual tops from Mango sale, 1 is a very very super nice woolen jacket..... mango sale wasn't fantastic anyway....... not for the quality they give....... $35 for a normal top, boo.... i rather buy an imitation somewhere else........ i'm waiting for the Zara sale........ when Zara sale start PLEASE INFORM ME PLEASE......... Zara's clothes are WAY better than mango's......

i'm quite upset recently, cos my 'eating' habits have been greatly disrupted.......... being a typical Taurus girl, there are some food that i MUST HAVE every week..... like Lot1's foodcourt Dry Beef Noodles....... i've been having it since sec1....... and yanwen should know how i went crazy over the beef noodles when i was in sec2....... cos i had it almost everyday....... or maybe really everyday.... no lah, every weekday after school........ and ever since i've graduated, i've also been constantly having the beef noodles cos my piano teacher's house is near lot1, so i'll have it once a week (it's the only thing i look forward to for piano lesson)........ AND NOW, it's GONE. !!!!! ARGH!!! GONE!! for a few weeks when the foodcourt was renovating, it disappeared! i dono where it shifted to!!! i was hoping it'll shift to the foodcourt upstairs but it wasn't there! i was quite tempted to ask the other foodcourt ppl where have they shifted to.... or will they shift back after the basement 1 foodcourt is done up (or will they even have another foodcourt in basement 1 in the first place?)... but i've got no guts to ask, they will think i'm crazy ah...... WAH LAO.........

tat's not all ok......... i love the shou gong mian at Clementi Kopitiam just on the right of the Mcdonald....... it's gone too....... gosh..... i have to eat it once a week after school, or whenever i go pass Clementi, it's a MUST HAVE..... and now it's gone too!!! WHY?!! now i've got nothing to look forward to anymore....... no good food to look forward to anymore.... i'm so upset.......

you may think i'm crazy, but these routines mean alot to me k........... i'm a very routined person... so whenever my routines get messed up i'll get messed up too!!

a typical week goes like that for me, monday aftnoon soup beef noodles at kovan OR chicken chop at hougang, dinner at bf hse, tuesday afternoon laksa or shou gong mian at clementi, normally dont eat dinner and wait till dad buys something back for supper, wed afternoon lunch with dad and shou gong mian at Clementi if meet bf or dinner with family, thurs "free to eat" day but i normally eat maggi mee at home or see what my mum packets home for me, fri afternoon dry beef noodles at lot1 after piano and dinner at bf hse........

i eat out EVERY SINGLE DAY leh........ all these good food or "habitually consumed food" are the only food i can look forward to..... i feel like i've got nothing to eat anymore.... cos i'm so fucking SICK of outside food....... unless i go my bf's hse eat home cooked food everyday.........which means it's quite impossible unless i start cohabiting with the bf...... wah laoooooo................ i am soooooooo damnnnn SIAN........

i'm starting to hate food........ but i can't function when i get hungry..... so i'll eat for the sake of filling up my stomach... which defeats the purpose of my tastebuds...... argh, i'm rambling....... shit lah.

and i can't help but feeling quite depressed over the fact that i'm starting work next tuesday... can't get over the fucking fact that i've only got the nxt 4 days left to slack........ it's really shitty..... and i got to last for one whole month before i get my frigging pay......... last 1 MONTH, on the miserable savings i have...... and there they are, always saying "poor but happy"..... how can anyone be poor but happy? i seriously wonder.... how can u be happy when u're poor?

BBQ later!!!!!! omg, can't wait..... been at home these few days practicing the damn piano for the stupid piano recital thingy.........

to my horror, the teacher actually video cam-ed the whole thing down...... and to my pleasant surprise, one of my fren, another fellow diploma student, actually composed a SUPER nice song herself........ omg...... it's really nice.... when she played it i thought it was from some Romantic composer......... but the teacher told us it was actually the students' own composition.... wow........... and, just realised my teacher actually has got HELL lot of students........ 20 students went for the piano recital, and 10 students couldn't make it........ 30 students altogether....... let's do a simple maths.... average she earns around $40/hr per student...... each student has 4 lessons a month........ so she'll earn....... $40 x 4 x 30students= $4800 a mth............ kaoz......... and tat's for only working for less than 30 hrs (most lower grade students only attend 45mins lessons) a week, compared to the average 45 hrs work wk........

i've been bumming around lately, sleeping late at night, and waking up in the afternoon....... it's really nice, but it's really bad for my body clock.... i guess i've got to start adjusting my body clock, especially before i start work in July, if not i die......

anyway, been quite concerned about 2 ulcers under my tongue, directly beneath the 2 veins...... it's been 2 weeks, and my ulcers show no signs of healing....... it's quite worrying, since i read online that ulcers not healing in more than 2 weeks are symptons of Oral cancer....... it's even more worrying when most of my frens smoke, and i'm a "heavy" 2nd hand smoker i guess.... and Oral cancer happens to smokers...... and just now, my ulcers just BLED....... can u imagine, bleed, under my frigging tongue....... i saw the doctor but he just gave me a mouth wash and said it's nothing much, just asked me to stop eating sweet things and heaty food....... i know i'm paranoid, but i think i should see the specialist..... and it's going to come up to a huge amount of consultation fee..... argh. am i paranoid or what? but my ulcers looked exactly like the picture of the Oral cancer medical printout thingy. fuck lah. how?

Yesterday Once More - The Carpenters

Nice song....... *sigh*

Graduating made me feel old........ much much older.... but the very prospect of having alot more money in my life other than my meagre allowances made me feel better, but just by one tiny bit.... haizZZZz...... well, i certainly hope to hit the books again next year and get that level 3 ACCA completed..... and of cos, in 3 years' time, my CPA. tada. well the level 3 ACCA thingy had to be pushed to nxt year cos of the un-best peak and off peak periods of my workload..... by the time i get into the firm, it'll be peak period....... so the only way i can start my professional cert is nxt year after March i guess....... this will be the best case scenario ah..... haizzz...... hopefully all goes according to my plan......... insomia started setting in during this period....... and it's getting on my nerves........ but lucky for me, i can wake up late tml w/o a care......

knowing how to forgive is something that i've learnt after so many years........ Forgiveness is when you don't let your hate consume you..... don't let irrational thoughts eat you up...... forgiveness is when you give up a place for someone in your heart..... don't push everything out and allow hate to fill your heart.......

it's pointless to hate, pointless to blame.... just forgive..... and soon u'll realise the world will be a much better place...... realise there are more reasons for you to smile....... more things that will make your day....... tat's what i've learnt..... forgiving is such a great virtue...... and when you've learnt to forgive, when you turn around and look back at those things you've done or said back then, it just makes you feel childish.... it'll only make you laugh at yourself, how silly you were in the past....

Some very old photos

this was also from eons ago..... chinese new year dinner with his frens at Punggol Marina....... Panasonic Lumix camera rocks ah! eyeing that new Lumix! can only get it after i start working....... pui....