Some very old photos

this was also from eons ago..... chinese new year dinner with his frens at Punggol Marina....... Panasonic Lumix camera rocks ah! eyeing that new Lumix! can only get it after i start working....... pui....

very old photos 2

some long ago photos...........

celebrating the bf's dad's bday and his bday together........ on 8th March.... their bdays are just 1 day apart...

after the dinner we went to celebrate his bday with his frens........ Prawning!!! super fun! there's bbq pit for u to bbq those prawns you catch too! and of cos can bring some other bbq food on your own also ah.... did i mention the prawning story? I broke the damn fishing rod which cost me $15??? on top of the normal $10/hr?! ccb. and the point was. i only caught ONE frigging prawn. pissed. this kinda suay things only happen to the clumsy cow man...... sheesh.

Belated Bday Post

went shopping with girls from school and they pampered and showered me with lots of love and belated presents!!.... those poor girls only ended their exams today, and so they only managed to celebrate my belated bday today.... i really don't blame them... and it was really really nice shopping for my OWN presents.... felt so wonderful! Bought ALOT of things with the budget they gave me.... and it felt so wonderful! it's like shopping for free! Far East Plaza is like a shopping heaven for Elastic tight belts and necklaces ah.... 3 for $10!!!!! omg! Or 2 for $20!!! 2 for $20 one is quite a catch man! cos it's for those class-ier looking belts... I bought a super lovely black dimante elastic belt which is super nice ah! looks so classy!....

and so i came back with a bagful of presents.... 4 belts (super chio!!), 1 necklace, 2 nail polish, 3 nail stickers, 1 lace tube, 1 lace bra! woohoo!

and of cos i also met up with yanwen on **Monday for a belated bday celebration and got a bday treat from her! went to a hk cafe which was average... but it was the company which really mattered.... the food wasn't our focus... hahahha i think we didn't even pay much attention to our food.... we just chatted ALLL the way for 3 hours..... chatting marathon! and it felt soooooooo good after the long chat.... it was like alot of things were suddenly lifted off from our chests.... we felt alot lighter after the talk....... tat's what best friends are for man... though we don't meet much, our bond will always be there.... and i got a super lovely tube dress from her (in the photo above)!!! all my frens commented it looked super nice on me ah! Thanks girl! i can always trust your taste! heheh.....

and of cos, not to forget, the very expensive bday dinner treat from Lynn, Rach and May!! the atmosphere there was fantastic! shall bring my bf there someday to try the rest of the atas food on the menu which non of us could understand.... hur....

Thank you girls, for the wonderful bday memories you guys never fail to give me....... love all my girlfriends to bits!

Taurus' Traits: Positive Traits: PATIENCE DETERMINATION LOGIC INDUSTRY SENSUALITY Negative Traits:LANGUOR GLUTTONY PREJUDICE COMPLACENCY INTRACTABILITY JEALOUSY Oh my god, the negative trait part about GLUTTONY is like so damn 100% true man....

Pieces Traits:

Positive Traits:

UNDERSTANDING
COMPATIBILITY
PERCEPTION
AWARENESS
CREATIVITY
SPIRITUALITY

Negative Traits:

DIFFIDENCE
SMUGNESS
LACK OF WILL
FEARFULNESS
RAGE
INDECISION

These Negative Traits about Pieces shocked me ah.... it's ALL TRUE about the boyfriend.... omg...... like so damn bloody true ah... ALL TRUE!!! amazed..... though the smugness is something i like about the bf....i find it quite cute when he tries to show off..... hahahah.... the positive traits are quite true though i don't think my bf has the spirituality in him... hur...

Taureans never slap or sting. Rather, they creep up on you, affect you deeply and leave their indelible impression on your soul. Think of Taurus as a long sensual kiss. A huge tender bear hug. Or an eiderdown on a cold alpine night. Taureans are warm (but sometimes stodgy) customers.Taurus people make excellent executives. They love money and enjoy earning piles of it. When a Taurus person gets rich, he hangs on to his money, investing it in sound stocks and bonds, building solid houses, and even storing gold sovereigns in a mattress. The key word here is substantial. Taureans do not have confidence in lightheadedness. Frivolity doesn't come naturally to them. Many Taureans work with their hands. Even if a Taurus is a computer expert and seems more cerebral than manual, nine times out of ten there is a hidden craft or hobby lurking behind the scenes. Taureans enjoy forging beautiful things from natural materials. In fact, they are attracted to all sorts of beauty. Music thrills them. Flowers enchant them. The countryside seduces them. And art is their natural habitat. Taureans are forever building their own workshops and renovating barns and old churches. They are not only home-loving, they like to get their hands into the cement and slather on the plaster, if only for the tangible joy of playing in the mud. Taureans do not take kindly to sudden change. They like to be wherever they are supposed to be when it is time to be there. Taureans readily adjust to routine and for that reason make fabulous employees. Precipitous and unexpected events requiring flexibility and resilience may cause Taureans to dig in their hooves and refuse to budge. Bulls are obstinate and determined to hold their ground. It is wiser not to try to talk Taurus out of a sulk. Just let him paw the earth and snort and seethe on his own. Take a tranquilizer and a walk. Soon, when the inevitable becomes blatantly inevitable, Taurus will budge of his own accord, come out of his sulk and go with the flow. Sensuality belongs to Taurus. Wherever there is pleasure you will find a Taurean plunk in the middle of it all. They love to bask in the "good life." Taureans cannot resist the tug of the opposite sex. When an attractive newcomer arrives on the scene, count on Taurus to see to it that the outsiders have a drink, are made comfortable and have slipped Taurus a telephone number or two. Taureans are amorous and romantic without being flighty or maudlin. They are tender and don't mind public displays of affection. Love and all of its expressions appeal to the Bull. Taureans can be counted on to stray a bit where sex is concerned, but they never flaunt their infidelities and usually avoid sticky extracurricular entanglements. If you love a Taurus, feed him.

This is really quite true ah....especially the part about Taurueans not liking changes and liking beautiful things..... it's really quite true.... all of my good friends around me are above average looking, i just realised..... hahaha... really! i'm serious... and the bf will say, "ya, true! tat applies for me too!" hahahaha....

hmmmm haven't felt so at ease in a long long time........ been enjoying my hols so far except for the practicing piano and getting scolded by the piano teacher part...... haizZz...... but the hols are so often short-lived..... and life will start becoming hectic in july..... with piano and work clashing........

started getting addicted to mahjong recently since i just started learning mahjong a few months ago........ and finally met up with the jjam ppl... hahaha... jjam..... a term i've not used in 10 thousand years.... yep, met up with them at Mitch's place for a session of mahjong...... felt a little awkward with them at first... since i haven't been joining them for i think like, 5 yrs? but everything started settling down after i showed them the long long long forgotten photos from the past... hahaha... they were quite shocked i had such a big pile of band plus jjam photos with me.....

anyway, it was fun, nostalgic, and memories flooded me so suddenly.... the fishing or crabbing, bishan park, soccer at limbang park, playing ali-pom at teck whye... so many things.... they're still the same, as funny as ever.... i've long forgotten all the bad memories and look forward to a better friendship with them....well, hopefully i've got time after i start working to meet up with friends.... i really hope i won't be so suppressed by work i dont even have time for myself, much less for friends......

well, looking for mahjong kakis.....hahahah..... mahjong anyone??

New Skin!

on a lighter note..... i've done up my new blogskin........ too bright for my preference though.... i like it a little more gloomy... but it'll do for now.........

shedding hair like nobody's business.... constant throbbing pain on my back and neck...... head feels heavy all the time..... feel like puking now....... am i dying?

finding suitable blog skins for my blog........ cos i itchy backside changed my blog template..... and can't find back my old blog template...... hmmmm..... irritated....

i tried so hard to be heard, but i just ended up with a wall. i tried so hard to be un-feeling, but i ended up feeling the most....

it's so hard being me...... so hard to be just me..... can i be someone else? will it be better? will it be better if i'm very very bad tempered so i'll just flare up whenever i can, and not end up feeling so suffocated in the end? maybe if i'm so bad tempered the whole world will give in to me, and not the other way round instead.... i'm always the one giving in to everybody, every single one......

will it be better if i dont feel anything, if i'm just as unfeeling, insensitive like him? will it be better if i don't get so bothered easily? but he was always the one who made me smile with earnest, always the one who can make my day, always the one who'd seen my ups and downs.... but he's also always the one who can make me so angry, so so so angry that i never knew i could be so angry with anyone.... i seriously can't be angry with anyone for longer than a day..... i swear......anytime after a day i'll just forget the whole damn thing, only to remember a few months later after some reminding.... but he's always all out to break my record.........

angry baby... damn cute... i'm as angry as this baby.... pissed...hur...

these 2 pics made my day better........ hmph....... but i'm still seething.......seething mad....

everyone has their limits, and mine's always way above the others. and my limit broke time and time again. i really dont know when i'll burst. just burst. i can't stand those ignorings anymore. not anymore. i can't stand it when i'm so fucking ignored. i can't stand it when he's playing games ALL THE FUCKING TIME. FUCK! ALL THE FUCKING TIME! i swear! or maybe it's just me! whenever he sees me he just get so fucking tired, fucking sick of me he just resort, reduce to his games! so it's just me you're tired of right?! i can be at his hse, be right beside him, but his focus will FOREVER BE on his psp game, handphone game, playstation game, computer game. on every games except me. i can be right there, but not there at all. i really can't stand it. can any girls stand it? can anyone stand it? on the MRT, at his house, at my house, outside, stopping after a walk, resting at a cafe, while waiting for movies. GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES!!!! ARCADE! PSP! FUCK LAH!

i've really had enough of this. enough is enough. my limit broke time and time again. i really can't stand it anymore. it's not like i've not given any warning. i've told him 10 thousand times. he doesn't really seem to care. so why should i? i'm giving up. giving up. i've had enough. if not, i'll burst. in flames of anger. in flames of fumes. just burst. you can't imagine how angry i am. how angry. fucking pissed. fucking disappointed. i'm not even sad anymore. just gave up being sad. being sad doesn't help. it just makes you feel worst. it's alot better when you're pissed. alot better when you turn everything into hate. pure hate.

been shopping like crazy these few days for work clothes....... and i think i got to stop....... i never felt much for the Great Singapore Sale a few years back... but now i'm starting to understand why office ladies go crazy for this sale.... cos it's really for the Office Ladies ah.... all work clothes at half price..... how can they not grab it? and now, i've become one of the very ppl i despised when i was younger.... "look at those aunties/ladies grabbing those clothes like siao" now i know how those ppl feel..... cos it's really alot cheaper than when they've got no sales ah? i went shopping before the sales, saw a top i really like at $40. GSS came and the top was on sale for only $20. HOW TO NOT GRAB? and even work PANTS leh. for frigging 16bucks. i remembered before sales was 40plus also lor... now more than 50% discount!.... tell me where to find work pants under 20bucks?! plus this is grey striped pants! not those typical black ugly pants!

and i've got a great news to announce! hur... i've just gotten a 200bucks Starhub voucher! YIPPEEE!!! i can either buy a new phone, OR change it into $200 Robinsons Voucher!! YAY-ness! and since i've no intention of changing my handphone anytime soon..... i'll change it into Robinsons voucher! Just nice for the GSS!! this voucher saved my arse....... Cos i intended to borrow 200bucks (confirm not enough) from my mum to shop for work clothes.... so now dont need liao! i am so frigging lucky.... hmmmmmmmm but Robinsons sale ah..... abit difficult to find cheap clothes.... all the clothes all up market one... not very suitable for a poor fresh graduate like me....... but still, it's TWO HUNDRED bucks.... just go grab something....

i hate the piano. period. i hate piano lessons, piano exams, piano vivoires or watever u call that, piano whatever shit. and now i've got to perform at a piano concert, AGAIN. fuck. after avoiding the teacher for so long, it has finally come down to this. she has just forced me to perform at her concert, again. giving me undue stress for nothing. pissed. i've been trying to avoid this topic like crazy, telling her i've got other commitments or whatever. she win already. she called my mum to ask. she knows the only way to get me is via my mum. my mum will nag until i DIE. ARGH! and the damn concert is nxt nxt wk. fucking hell. then my Genting how?! angry angry angry. I don't want to perform, i really don't want. i really suck at piano, period.

i hate it when my love feels so un-loved. unreciprocated love. unanswered.

When Girls Cry

If a girl cries in front of you,

It means that she couldn't take it anymore.

If you take her hand,

she would stay with you for the rest of your life.

If you let her go,

she couldnt go back to be herself anymore.

A girl won’t cry easily ,except in front of the person whom she loves the most,

she becomes weak.

A girl wont cry easily,

only when she loves you the most,she puts down her ego.

Guys, if a girl cries because of you,
please hold her hands firmly,
coz she’s the one who is willing to stay with you for the rest of your life.

Guys,
if a girl cries because of you,
please dont give her up,
maybe because of your decision,
you'll ruin her life.

When she cries right in front of u,
When she cries because of you,
Look into her eyes,
Can you see and feel the pain and hurt she’s feeling?

Think….
Which other girl have cried with pure sincerity,
In front of you,And because of you?
She cries not because she is weak,
She cries not because she wants sympathy or pity,

She cries,
Because crying silently is no longer possible,
the pain,
hurt and agony have bcome too big a burden to be kept inside.

Guys,
Think about it,
If a girl cries her heart out to you,
And all because of you,
Its time to look back on wat you have done,
Only you will know the answer to it.

Do consider it,Coz one day,
It may b too late for regrets,
It may be too late to say “im sorry”.
think about it.

“Appreciate and love those around you so that you’ll never regret when it is too late..”

The boyfriend asked me to read this. interesting. and true.

My only weakness, is you.

i just signed the damn bloody bond, going to start work on 1st July, SO FAST!!! anyway, i hope i wont fail, really pray hard i'll pass if not i'm going to be stucked with the fucking LOW non graduate pay.... ARGH!!! 300bucks difference per month, is a hugeass amt of money, to me anyway. difference btw graduate and non graduate pay. i forsake the japanese bank high pay for this job. i hope i wont regret it. but the jap bank's demands were quite crazy ah, how can a graduate work independently WITHOUT any mentorship AND be incharge of the accounts of one of the firm's subsidiary???? then be responsible for the firm's losses if i make any mistakes ah? SIAO. although it really gave a very high salary ah, but it's crazy lor. at least if i join this audit firm i'll be joining a few of the fresh graduates and receive training together, i wont feel so out of place and insecure in a new place right? i wont feel so stupid being a fresh graduate, period. cos i've got a few other stupid ones joining me too. though, i'm still quite concerned about the pay thingy. sighs.

it's been a long time since i last blogged.... but my exam has now finally ended and i'm finally free, and hopefully, graduated......... *prays hard that i'll pass* prays damn hard........ haizZZz....... i've found a job....... and have decided to sign a one and a half year contract with them...... it's an audit firm....... and i'll be working like a slave from october to march, cos it's the peak period for any audit firms.... and hopefully i wont just die from over exhaustion of work........ hopefully my annual increment is like any other Big 4 companies..... unfortunately, mine is the 5th....... hur.... and i cannot hope too much during the contract period since i might be overly exploited..... to the max........ but once i get over the contract period, HAHAHAH, i can bet you, my pay will rise like fuck. cos they can't bear to let me go since by then they would have already invested alot in me...... and by then, i'll get the relevant accounting experience i want, and i'll roam the accounting world...... (keep dreaming). grrrrrrr......... still not sure if this is the right step, but i'll live. wont die one lah. 1 and a half yr from now i'm still young, but maybe not as healthy. hur.

why work in an audit firm? cos can gain alot alot alot of working experience, annual increments are SUPPOSED to be good cos turnover rate are high and they wanna retain ppl... i need to be a Certified Public Accountant to earn at least 4k a mth (in 3 year's time)... and after 5-6 yrs of working as an accountant i wanna TEACH acccounting subjects in SIM, ACCA, KAPLAN or any private schools and earn more than $6k or a mth...... backup plan is to teach piano at home while taking care of my kids and earn also at least 6k a mth......... (dream on again)

Rules:A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people..

#1 If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?.

slap the girl AND the bf AND make sure a hell lot of ppl sees it. preferably in the middle of town. .

#2 If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?.

earn hell lots of money, bless my family with eternal health and wealth, get married, live in a dream house. hmmm.... tat's alot of dreams to come true. .

#3 What will your dream wedding be like?.

i just want a very lavish wedding. dont even know if the boy wants to marry me. think so much for what. rite?.

#4 Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?.

yes. i THINK i've got a job. but i'm not satisfied with the pay. and the 1 and a half yr contract thingy. i'm SCARED LIKE FUCK that i'll fail any subjects this year, cos if i fail, i'm SCREWED. cos if i'm in a contract, i'll be STUCKED with the non-graduate pay. but then again, it's rather high for non graduate pay. ARGH. dono lah! but of cos, if i pass, tat'll be the best of both worlds. though i'm STILL not satisfied with the salary. aiya i can never be satisfied with salary lah..

#5 What’s your ideal lover like?.

like what lynn said. a best friend who is THE pillar of strength. most of all, one who loves me with all his heart. must always be there for me when i need him. with a little bit of "ba" (fats) here and there to cuddle with. who has short hair, thin legs, who is tall, dark, and ahem not quite handsome but rather adorable..

#6 Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?.

both. but i think i would prefer being loved by someone more. .

#7 How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?.

hmmmm.. if i really love someone will be when i'm already with him. and when i'm alreeady with him, i dont expect him to let me wait. .

#8 If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?.

i'll just give up..

#9 Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?.

money, bf, family, studies..

#11 Is being tagged fun?.

yep, cos at least i know lynn thought of me for that split second in time, at least u know for a moment somebody thought of you. .

#12 How do you see yourself in 10 years' time?.

rich tai tai..

#13 Who is currently the most important person to you?.

bf, family. .

#14 What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?.

someone who still knows me well even though it's been years since we last met. .

#15 Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?.

if i'm married but poor, then i'd rather dont get married. .

#16 What’s the first thing you do every morning?.

get out of bed..

#17 Would you give all in a relationship?.

yes, definitely. look up Taurus' personality. Love passionately, give it all. and also love money. hahahha. .

#18 What is the sweetest thing someone has done for you?.

being there for me and continue loving me. .

#19 What type of friends do you like?.

friends who listen. friends who will be there for me. friends whom i can still talk for the whole day even though we've not met for a long long time. .

#20 If you played a prank on someone, & he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?.

hmmm.... i dont think i can play a prank on someone and the person will fall for the trick.... hahaha... no person will ever fall for my trick i think...

i'm tagging Yanwen. .

Japanese Dinner

Click on the picture for a better view!

Retail Therapy; The Shopping Queen

i think some shopping devil possessed my body these few days......... i went into uncontrollable bouts of shopping impulses which i find fucking difficult to stop myself! ARGH...... indulgences......... the amount of things i bought for the past one month is enough to scare the hell out of my mum and boyfriend.... i dont know why i can't control my shopping impulses, and it's damn scary..... and i now declare myself officially BANKRUPT (yes, again) for the 100th time in my 22 years.......

yes, i bought 6 pairs of shoes........ actually no, i bought 8 pairs of shoes to be exact this month alone.... the other 2 pairs at bf's house......... BUT, guess how much do cost for each pair? 5 frigging bucks. HOW NOT TO BUY?!?! They don't even look like cheap shoes to me ah.... all high heels leh! can wear for work~!!! for 5 bucks leh!! those shoes at my house are the 5 dollars ones la... but those shoes at my boyfriend's house cost $10 and $20 each....(nt in the picture) still damn cheap ah.... URS sandals for $10......bought it at the warehouse sale.... anyway, those 5 bucks shoes, all sold out liao lah.... OF COS AH, when i went there only had very few sizes left..... cos a fren of mine bought most of them liao.... hahahahha.... i shall not give names here...

anyway, whatever that's in this picture, i bought them cos they were VERY CHEAP and very nice....... all discounted...... EXCEPT the white shorts which my bf bought for me from M)phosis again ($35!! not cheap!!!).... exact same white shorts i bought a year ago.... it's damn difficult to find shorts i like and fit my bottom very well.... so i decided to stock up..... cos my old white shorts became very dirty and somehow yellowish.....

from left:

M)phosis white shorts: $35

Black Dress from Cotton on: $10!!!! super love it!

Grey Plain top from Cotton on: 2 for $20, so $10!

Pink spaghetti too from Cotton on: 2 for $20, so $10! (but got to buy 2 same tops to get the discount, if not it's $15 each... BUT Carine was rather brave today and waited for another girl who bought the EXACT same tops as me so i actually took the initiative to approach her to share, LUCKY SHIT. cos they've got so many designs there and so happened we both bought 2 same tops)

Green long top from pasar malam: $10! hey, pasar malam sells damn nice dresses nowadays ok! and ALL FOR $10 only!

Tights fom pasar malam: $10~!

Total: $75

Clothes for WORK!! i've already started to keep a look out for tops to go work in July.... hur....... office wear....

from Left:

Black working dress from this fashion/alano/coax bazaar outside Westmall: $15!!!!! frigging cheap for a working dress like this lor, those i saw at other boutiques selling at least $40 each

Pink working top from Coax: $19 after discount

Total: $34

Somemore miscellaneous stuff i bought......

from left:

Fake eyelashes from dodo club: $3.90 i think can't remember

Pair of rose earrings frm school push cart: $1.50!

Face shop Glitter Black eyeliner: $12.90 (singapore) SUPER GOOD OK!! very smooth! and glitters! though you need to sharpen........ get a sharpener from SaSa for only $1.20..... very easy to sharpen!


I JUST got lobang get from Korea straight from their Face Shop outlets in Korea and thinking if i wanna open spree for The Face Shop.... interested ppl please inform me! at least 20% cheaper than Singapore.... SOMEMORE DIRECT FROM KOREA.... fresh... hahahaha..... even their body lotions, face masks i all have lobang! 100% REAL from Face Shop Korea... if i get from Korea, the eyeliner will be $9.90 only!.... $3 cheaper...INFORM ME SOON BEFORE MAY! now only buying glitter eyeliners, go to Face shop outlets in Singapore and try their colours and inform me what colours you all want, i think got gold, silver, dark blue, black..... only applicable to my frens.... hur.....

Tinted ZA moisturiser: $14.90 i think, really can't remember how much...

Maybelline lipstick: $12.90

Puff phone accessories with a huge love dimante: $3

Huge dimante Black Ring from Cotton on: $4.95

notice the frequency of my blog updates lately........... it's cos i just dont wanna get my ass down to study now... and also cos i've been having problems, serious problems sleeping lately..... and so i've been up till 2am or later these few days when i got to wake up at 7 the nxt day..... and when i sleep, it's those restless sleep where i wake up at least 10 times throughout the night...... which is damn mother fuckingly irritating with a capital I. it really makes me totally totally tired the nxt day..... ARGH! IRRITATING! not in the best of moods lately too. sigh.

Camera man: Wan Min Xiong.


For those ppl who's never seen me play piano before...... and for those who can't believe i can actually play the piano..... here it is.... anyway, that THE WHOLE WORLD has never seen me play the piano before la......... except my family, my bf and my piano teacher...... oh and those who went for my piano teacher's concert.... hur....... taken by my beloved naughty little bro.... who took the first video when i wasn't noticing.... after i found him doing it, i continued to let him video my next song..... hahhaha...... zi lian...

but i really hate the piano. swear.


Haydn dono-what Sonata 1st of 3 movements:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHXD1Gtz2TI

Debussy's Minstrels:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwrfgAym80k

yep, we went all the way to suntec to buy macdonald breakfast...... cos we couldn't find the one near the stadium...... dammit.....i think the 3 of us walked 5km tat day........ walked round and round and round the national stadium for dono how long.........

<br>


hahah i love this photo.......... super cute! especially my hello kitty umbrella, the cutest!

this was how we chopped seats for i think around a thousand students......... plenty of nylon strings and tape did the trick....

all of us starting to look quite cui already........ look at our tired eyes.......

hmmmm...... last sat when me, yanwen and lizhen reserved seats for the bpians at 6am in the morning.... the 3 of us chatted for many many hours during the wait for the competition.... we all knew it was the last performance at national stadium.... we all knew national stadium would be gone, soon..... so we took hell lots of pictures........ we chatted hell lot too...... we chatted on soooo many mature topics......... talked about marriage, talked about boys, talked about horoscopes, talked about our lives......... it was a very enlightening long long long chat....... we were all three very different individuals altogether..... VERY different.... but the way we talked, it seemed as if we knew each other forever....... it was something i'll cherish...... the bonds i have with alot of ppl...... the things i can share with many ppl..... my encounters, my experiences......... btw i was ranked "the most entertaining" person i think, on facebook among all my frens..... which really made my day.... i like to be entertaining, i like it when ppl laugh at my jokes, my encounters, i love it when ppl find me interesting to be with.... i like to be the blur one, entertaining ppl with my blurness..... i mean, i'm really (always) slow in catching some of the jokes ppl say, but seriously i dont care lah.... different frequency different frequency lor.... as long as i can make ppl laugh.....

but despite popular beliefs, i do have some down periods too.... just tat i think only my bf can see those down periods of mine......... only for the privileged, hahah.... not everyone can see one ok....



SIBEH SIAN LAH, i'm doing EVERY SINGLE THING BUT SLEEP, and STUDY. MOODY. moody. little miss moody. i cant bloody sleep. and i've got class at 8.30am later. pui.



anyway, some random photos i ka-poed from lizhen's blog..... hahah which she has forgotten to send me i guess.....

6plus am at National Stadium

the 3 heroines that day, yanwen, me and lizhen.

our wonderful bp supporters

Our forever forceful and graceful BP band 2008

wonderfully colourful Bp supporters....

There were some other photos we took during the long long wait........ some cock photos which i think lizhen thought was too funny to put up.... hahaha.... the 3 aunties holding umbrellas sitting at the seats, avoiding the sun...... seriously, the sun is really bad for the skin k........... no one could have ever believed that we were from Military bands.......... hahahha....afraid of even the sun................ hahahahha haizzzzzzzzzz.............

i suddenly knew why BP band didn't make it for gold...... suddenly knew why the rest of the Big Threes got gold.........it might be one of the few main reasons..... i suddenly realised this after watching the band videos at youtube........... it's the Auxillary Percussion and the choreography of the music, they followed the symphonic band style, climax, anticlimax, soft, climax again......... Bowen, Tk and Deyi all had one thing in common, they had FANTABULOUSLY LOUD Auxillary percussion......and they placed alot of emphasis on AP (those ppl standing infront on the track) these time round.... those AP instruments they used are LOUD/ECHO-ing STEEL and pedalled xylophones to magnify the sound, steel xylophones can even have the effects of making the music ALOT MORE rounder, full, and can even cover it up when the band gets out of breath, can create climax, AND create mellow sounds ALL AT THE SAME TIME........ and the ones that we're/BP's using are WOODEN ones....... they're alot SOFTER and mellower in comparison......... Gosh...........and bowen had very loud drummers for AP........ haiz..... anyway, our show lacked the climax i think... quite monotonous... Deyi was really fantastic, no doubt about it..... but we were still really very good, just wasn't good enough..... seriously dont know what Deyi and Tk band did to their instruments or what, it's like they "opened pipe" for their instruments (zng-ed their instruments or something) like so loud and round!


but fuck, i really dont understand why we couldn't have gotten a gold, really like wtf... i tot we were alot better than 2 years ago, MUCH BETTER THAN Y smth smth school, ccb, putting us down to their standard really makes my blood boil................ REALLY DAMN PEK CEK LAH, i dont know why but this band competition thingy affected me so much! ARGH! mooodyyyyy...........

BUT why did TK didn't get best band this year? listen to their AP, they messed their solo up.......... anyway, Deyi's choice of music were like so powerful ah........ their opening was like so fairyland, dream-like (by the SUPERB xylophones or watever u all them lah)... then SUDDENLY CLIMAX, then soften down, and then CLIMAXED again........ all in all a really superb and rounded show........

anyway, who cares........ it's all over........... just some things that's been going through my mine these days....... i kept thinking, i dont know why.... this question just kept repeating and repeating in my mind "Why did we not get gold, WHY did B_wen get gold when it was so SHITTY, WHY didnt we get gold?! " why. cos b_wen's AP was darn good, that's why. although their main band sucked, and they actually SANG, during band comp. god. anyway, here's the videos..... the only consolation was, DEYI WON BEST BAND AND TK screwed up, hur. finally, it's tk's time to CRY, (in disappointment) this time round. when deyi won, all the bt exmembers cheered like fuck.

Deyi:




and BP band:







TK:





Boowen:

"We were a strong band,in terms of manpower,music or marching. I remember truly feeling the aura of a great and mighty band emanating from us as we walked past our rival bands. We had the imposing presence,and I was sure that our rival bands at least feared or respected us,simply because we had it in us. But after the split,our band feels much weakened. It feels to me like our band was a person who fell from the pink of health into a state of fragility,perhaps from a sudden critical illness,and now on the path of slow but steady recovery,but losing much of the original state of vitality." -Yan Wen

this small paragraph spoke alot for me...... totally 100% agreed....

haizZZZZz.............. dont know what to say.......... we got Silver for SYF military band competition............ damn lostform ........... haizZz................. seeing the band at the national stadium brought back so much memories it overwhelmed me suddenly........... seeing the field, and knowing that it's the last time, really the very last time we're going to be marching at the national stadium field......... and we were back in Teckwhye, back at the same old muddy field at teckwhye......... i thought we could win at least a gold or something........... so many things went through my mind when we were waiting for the results, and after we've gotten the results........... seeing those dejected figures on the field, members and instructors alike, just feel like giving them a comforting pat on the back, seeing those disappointed faces, crying, sobbing faces, just makes me feel so sad......... the point is, i havent been going back to band for 6 years ever since i've graduated......... but it really seemed like i've never even left there afterall.............i haven't even been going back to help out AT ALL and i can feel so much for the band, i can feel anger, indignant, sadness, disappointment......... can you imagine those ppl who's been constantly helping out at the band, going back for band practices........... can you imagine how they'll feel? haizz........ we were sobbing at the national stadium 8 years ago, 8 years have passed, and we are still sobbing at the same field............ how can those bloody judges be so blind, i really cannot understand.......... so many flashes of memories back in my mind........... when we were at the band room, listening to Sir giving long long talks......... after band competition, everyone sitting at the bandroom disappointed, down at the muddy fields with only the centre line and the trees as our guide........ basketball after band practices........... hide and seek at teckwhye............. we could spend the whole bloody day at teckwhye........ or at lot1 mac........... seeing those disappointed figures........really felt like going up to them, give them a comforting pat, telling them they've already done a good job............ just going up to them and talk........... just talk........... but i can't even do that, feels so awkward, feels so weird......... can't even open my mouth to talk to them.... after the band competition, when we were back at the teckwhye, i wanted to wait, wanted to be up at the bandroom with them, wanted to mix and mingle with the rest of the exmembers, but i just felt damn out of place, somewhat.... just out of place......... and so i decided to leave before the rest of them arrive........ and walked the same long way from teckwhye to the next bus stop........ the way me and yanwen always walked and chatted........ the road which brought me and yanwen to those bunch of ppl......... "hey, do you guys want to join us? we're going to kpt." they shouted across up the slope....... "what's kpt?", "kopitiam lah", "ok, we'll join u"

tomorrow's the band comp day for Bukit panjng military band, sadly, not bukit panjang and Teck whye combined military band anymore...... sigh..... and i'm going to wake up at some god forsaken hours.... at 4AM in the morning..... yes.......... THAT EARLY...... to go to the national stadium to chop seats for our school so we we'll get the best view, and most importantly, SHADE at the grand stand........ it's been a long while since i've done my part as an exmember to the band, and so, i volunteered this........... so well, other than the fact that i'll have super black eyebags tml, it'll be fun of course, snatching seats with the Tk exmembers, bitching with some frens, (or probably not, cos everyone will be so sleepy), the excitement will only come in the afternoon when we see the band all lined up and ready to go on the field, when the drum major raises the maize and "BOOM" everything starts, just like the good old days when we were down there........ it'll be like back to secondary school days when we did stupid things, i feel a tinge of regret doing this, but no choice, must put in some effort for the band..... and hopefully i'll be able to study there under the dim, MOONlight.... hur...... i'll bring whatever i need there lah, books, notes, sleeping bag? IM SERIOUS about bringing sleeping bag there ok....... i mean, at least i'll have something nice to sit on for the next god-knows-how-many hours right..........

and probably i'll have to sleep like at 8pm tonight............ i've got sleeping disorder these days, and it's getting worst-erest, i can lie on my bed for 3-4 hrs before going to sleep........... ARGH....... or probably i got to sleep at 7pm...... even so, i'll only have less than 8hrs of sleep (minus 2hrs when i toss and turn).... ARGH..... starting to regret liao lah........... BUT i hope it'll be fun.......... cos i suddenly feel young again............ hur.........but i can bet on sunday i'll feel like a 40yr old women.......

This quiz i got from Veron's blog is like so completey true........ super true, like 90percent accurate.... everyone should try it here: http://www.youniverse.com/

Some random photos from eons ago to add some colours to this dull and lifeless blog.......


Cant remember if i've put this on the blog before or not, but ya this was last year when the bf's parents went Korea and we had the whole house to our own..... so the bf made steaks for our dinner........ cool right, like those you see in western restaurants..... note the cutleries, hahahah we didn't have steak knife at home, so we used spoons......... wahahhaa.... and that thing over there is actually baked potato with cheese and butter.... yum yum....... ANYWAY, in case you're wondering if this is edible, it's actually damn nice........... boys can always cook better than girls... dont u think so? well, for me i think it's true ah....


anyway this is my crimson red NDS lite........... I just call her My Ds Lite...... i always shout at my bf "Oei! Where's My Ds Lite!@@! Play your PSP and leave her alone!"



This was just yesterday at Vivo City, (when i was supposed to be studying at some place, we went shopping instead)..............after a very heavy dinner at Hogsbreath...........................

And our Zng-ed boats! Bf's ugly black boat........... hahaha...... Transformers....Careful, might metamorphosis into a hugeass robot with a redbull logo on it.............*lame*

My Beautiful pink boat!!!!! Chio right...........everything downright to those stencils at the wings were all D.I.Y ok.......... including the colour......... and the stencil rose...... were all sprayed paint on my own........ spent HELL lot of time to do up this boat.......... and so far i've only played it like at most twice........ hahahhaa............ bo hua ah........... spent hell lot of money on these 2 boats and only played a few times...........

For the sake of proving the boat can really work on water, here's the video............. at Punggol Park......... before we changed it's colour.....

*SOBS* I wish these are mine......................... Envious man! I wish my bf can get those for me too........... but wait till the sky drop.............. anyway, these are his sis's.............. his sis's bf give one......... so nice right?!!!!

nowadays i can't even be bothered to take pictures with my digicam anymore............ haizZZzz.......... can't even be bothered to upload whatever i took............. the digicam's forever tucked inside my bag at my bf's house which i never fail to remember bringing the charger to his hse......... and bringing the damn digicam back to my hse to upload the photos............ pui............. wait till my exams are over...... i shall shop the town down, meetup with tonnes of friends, start buying office wear clothes, start packing my room, start shopping at ikea to buy a new cupboard for my overflowing room! haizZZzz..... but i need MONEY MONEY MONEY!!

it's been a long time since i last blogged....... wonder if there's anyone out there still reading this mouldy blog of mine......... bleah......... been, well, as always, busy......... with.... fiddling with my nds lite....... Crimson RED in colour....... yep, i managed to SELL away my Black nintendo ds lite and bought a red one........ wahhaha..... i managed to sell it within 4 days of usage, pro or what............ i love doing these kinda selling and buying kinda things online...... anyway, back to my ds........ been playing all sorts of games lately, and been kinda hooked to some.......... but now is really not the right time to get addicted to games cos my EXAMS ARE COMING.............. oh man.............. instead of burrowing into the mountain of books i'm getting myself lost in the endless games of nintendo....... i'm so screwed......... haizZZZZzz................

everyone's been raving on about the novel "P.S I Love You" but i've still yet to get my hands on it........ hmmmm............ now is not the time!! I always say this, and i must say it again.......... why do i always get myself tonnes and tonnes of things to do during this critical period of studying? i've got endless things to buy, endless things to do............ shit man...... i've been doing a little bit of retail therapy lately, and i've bought quite a number of satisfied buys......... but i've yet to start on my exams...................JUST CANT GET THE MOOD to get going.............. SHIT lah........ grrrrr.........

hmmmmm the bf's bday is around the corner..... and i've got absolutely no idea what to buy for him.......... i seldom buy him presents cos i'm always the very poor student............. chiong shu sheng.......... but he seems to have all the things guys should have........... i've bought him the braun buffel key pouch and perfume last year....... dono what to buy for him this year.......... he's got a braun buffel wallet....... still quite new and presentable compared to mine...... ive also bought him the liverpool jersey he wants........ he also just bought himself some branded polo tees, which i want also but he didn't buy for me........heh........ so what else does he need???! i wanna buy him a watch........ but his current watch is like so so so "high class", the watch i buy for him will look absolutely stupid beside it........ i really want to buy a watch for him......... but it's really very pricey...... the one i wanna buy is so damn nce........ but soooooo ex to me....... like $360 after discount i think.......... ellesse watch, the Jay chou advertise one........ damn nice leh......... but i only have like $120 budget, how to buy?! knn..... unless my mum tio 4D tonight then ask her share the present with me ah........ hahahhahaha.......... DREAM ON.

Bf just bought me a nintendo ds lite........... ABSOLUTELY not the colour i want.......... but it'll do............ cos he also wanna play......... no choice lor....... he doesn't want to lay his hands on a baby pink set......... ARGH..... nvm........ i can do other things to it........ hehehhe...... like putting on bling blings on it....... oops.........

but but but i'm so absolutely pissed...... just after a few days of using...........the frigging touch screen got SCRATCHED. fucking hell. scratched. scratched. can u imagine, just after a few days?!!! the stupid stylus is so not sensitive, and caused the damn scratch.... either the frigging stylus or the frigging touch screen, watever the case is, i'm going to force them to exchange a new set for me.............. or repair it or something...... like fucking helling suay.......... pissed............ it's their fault right?! that the stupid stylus has the stupid problem!i dont understand how can things like that happen SO SOON..... what will my ds lite become if i use it longer?! become scratched like fuck ah. i dont like my things to be scratched, or faulty or watever, i like them to be as good as new!!!! (duh, like who doesnt) but i'm going to make sure/ try the best i can to argue with the warranty company to do something for me at the very least........ but i've called and they seem unwilling to do anything about it since it's a "cosmetic" case as they see it. ccb. it's not like i dropped the damn thing and caused a crack or something. it's the frigging ORIGINAL stylus scratched the frigging ORIGINAL screen.

angry angry angry.

oh my god, i can't believe these Teacup Yorkie puppies are for free adoption!!! GOSH!! i want!! so damn frigging cute!!!!! shit.... i wanna ask my mum to let me adopt!!

if you guys are interested go to this website: http://shops.st701.com/shops/view/21782?from=%2Fshops%2Fresults%3Fsearch_text%3Dpuppies

i'm not sure if i'm ready to raise a puppy.......... haizZZZ... takes alot of work u know........

Things i really really wanna buy now...

Things i wanna buy now:

HTC Touch cruise......... pda phone, $798 with 1 gb memory card....... i'm SO SO SO into PDA phones........... too bad my stupid O2 mini died on me....... ARGH....

BOUGHT! not baby pink though......

i'm so into BABY PINK and touch screens nowadays............... but where to find the $$$$ to buy?!!

AND THIS RABBIT IS SO CUDDLY CUTE!! saw this on some forum thingy, somebody selling this Netherland dwarf pure breed rabbit for only $200 frigging dollars!! website: http://www.sgclub.com/singapore/selling_pure_breed_51774.html

Disappointed.

So so so disappointed, I wanted that bag so so so much. so much. Imagine the disappointment when you really wanted something, really thought you would get it, but dont have it in the end. It's really very disappointing. just so disappointing. Feel like i've lost something cos i love the bag so much.

chinese new year was OK only..... CNY's supposed to be my favourite festive season of the year.......... one which i sincerely cherish, one when i can meet friends and relatives and gather at someone's place an have hell lots of fun.............. and it's over so soon........ sigh................ and soon, my prelims will be next................. and soon, my final year exams................ and soon, my 22nd bday (in the middle of everyone's exams), and soon, i'll have to start working.................. ARGHHHHhhhhhhhhh...... how i really wish i can go overseas RIGHT NOW......... even malaysia will be good........ haizZZzz......

super gian mahjong and blackjack now.............. i really have no mood to study for the prelims.... how??!! oh yah, did i mention, we went for a movie marathon on chu san? cos the whole world was overseas and we had no place to go...... we watched kung fu dunk and ah long private limited.... which was superrrrrrrrr funny, apart from the corny storyline....... but half of it i didn't understand as it was in Cantonese, so i was reading the subtitles most of the time......... i bet if i can understand Cantonese it'll be 10times funnier......

anyway, Valentine's day dinner was at Amici Italian Restaurant at Holland village........ which cost my bf a bomb......... no flowers no presents as usual, like it's been for the past 5 years........ which i really dont mind this year, cos if there's gift exchange, it'll mean i have to buy something for him also......i'm damn broke....... heh....... the ONLY, one and ONLY time i received flowers from him was our 1st year anniversary i guess........ which i really dont wanna mention the "coolness" of the process of him presenting those flowers to me (at his HOUSE!!!)......... and i think the next time i'll receive flowers from him might be our wedding liao lah...... haizzZZZ....... everytime i ask him to buy flowers, the only thing he'll say is "u wait lor", "
等久久".......... he can bring me to the most expensive restaurant to eat, but he'll never buy flowers for me, or even shop for present for me on his own....... the only way he'll buy present for me will be when i ask him to, if i ask on the spot, he sure buy, if i dont ask or dont tell him SPECIFICALLY what i want, he wont even think of buying anything..... and SO, the only thing we do together, really enjoy together, is EAT............ i often ask him, "why you always dont wanna buy things for me one ah", he always say "
养你吃都 cannot tahan liao, 你比平常人吃得多" .......... '_'

My To buy list seems to grow longer by the minute but i've got no idea how to fulfil all my needs when i've got no money.... fuck............ really feel so shit..... i need some calorie limit capsules to bloody limit my food intake during this festive season.... i need a new blusher, i need hair treatment for my bloody just-dyed-super-dry-hair................ anyway, talking about my dyed hair......... haizZZZZ............. i felt so cheated..... the hair cut was nice, i really like it.... but as usual, i got cajoled into highlighting my hair in less than 3 minutes.... the hair stylist must have felt very proud of herself, to persuade me to dye my hair so fast............. and the highlighting and hair cut cost me $130 bucks............... which is VERY expensive.......... compared to if i just dye at some neighbourhood salons...... for tat price i think i can dye my WHOLE hair plus highlight plus treatment plus cut.............shit.......... got scolded by the bf for being so stupid to dye hair at those kinda salons.......... can cut hair at those kind of higher-end salons, but dyeing hair is a serious mistake.... and now my hair is like a pile of dried hay........... shit.......... really need to do treatment...... did i mention i went back to the salon AGAIN to touch up my hair? cos the first time was SO NOT OBVIOUS my mum and bf and some friends screamed at me to go back to the Salon to touch up....... i always kena this kinda thing don't ask me why..... dye-ing hair at this place is so not worth the money....... though really, the hair cutting is perfectly fine......

i dont even wanna bring myself to think about the coming exams and prelims.... the only thing i'm looking forward now is CNY...... my ONLY motivation........... but when it's over, it's really over..... i might be so depressed after the hols i might just die of stress..... i'm a super stress-free person, but this year i dont know why i can feel the stress of studies constantly all the time..... feel so shit...................... ARGH!

i know sometimes maintaining relationships are hard, but i didn't know it would be THIS HARD.

i feel so tired with every single breath that i take, short haggard breaths. so tired. so so so tired. everytime he does that, my heart just aches. everytime he does that, my heart just wounds. everytime it's over, the protective layer around my heart just gets thicker, in a faint effort to prevent it from hurting anymore. but it still hurts. maybe someday, it wont hurt anymore. maybe someday, the protective layer around it will build up so thick, so so thick, it wont hurt anymore. it wont even feel anything anymore. everything done unto it will not be felt, will not be taken into heart, will not love, will not feel, will not care, anymore. i feel so drained. drained of any energy. i feel pain, i feel everything. how i wish i will not feel anymore.

haizz...................... been so so so so so busy...... ya i'm busy everyday k, i've got no hols to enjoy..... except for those long long weekends when public holidays falls on Tuesdays.........miss those wkends.... wkends mostly either spent on going chalets, or boat-ing with the bf and gang at punggol park, or bowling, or late night suppers, or JB blah blah blah.......... and the list goes on and never ends........... the problem with such entertainments, one big major problem: deficiting of the moolahs real real real fast.......... not like i dont like such gatherings, or entertainments or whatever u call these never-ending-hanging-outs..... it's so fun, but but but!!!! no money how to have fun?!!!

sometimes, i just feel like staying at home ALL DAY, and doing NOTHING... it'll be a complete satisfaction, a complete rest for me physically and mentally..... shall be resting my brains this thursday doing NOTHING k.......... hey, tat's the ONLY day so far that i've got no school, no tuition, nothing. i need that kinda rest. need. desperate to want to stay home. desperate to open up my skull and take out my brains and lay it to rest on my softy pillow doing nothing, encase it in a glass box or something. i am that tired. really.

oh yah, i've taken up a new hobby (expensive one though)..... modifying boats and playing remote controlled boats at punggol park.... cost my bf a bomb, he paid for everything..... including my materials to transform my white boat into a pink one.... hahaha..... yep, we sprayed paint our boats, did some stencils on the boat and pasted some stickers...... our boats look completely different now.... and damn pretty! will put up the pics some day..... NO TIME LAH....

so dead tired now, just got back from lessons.......... had lessons this morning too, from 8.30-11.30am, and went for lessons at 7pm-10pm...... make up lesson for thurs, if not thurs i can never never be free.... haiz....... brain dead.............

There are bound to be some ups and downs in any relationship........... my advice: just tolerate and it'll be over.

another piece of advice: tolerate till you hit the bottleneck, dont need to tolerate anymore, let it explode.

Dont know what's up with the bf these days, or with most of the bfs of my friends these days........... what's up with the sudden change of attidude, the rudeness, the blatantness, the un-caringness, and the un-gentleness........something's wrong, but u cant figure out what.... they just tell you "it;s nothing it's nothing it's nothing", but obviously there's SOMETHING.... something is definitely wrong. there seems to be nothing wrong with the relationship on the whole, or on the appearance.... but something seems to be wrong from the inside..... the tone of that voice, the volume of that voice, the lack of some warmth, lack of some love, lack of some gentleness pisses me off somewhat..... yet there's nothing wrong?

sometimes he can be soo soo soo sweet as a candy but sometimes he's just as sour as a lemon which makes me quinch.

bad bad mood.