Day 1 - Cu Chi Tunnel + Boat Dinner Vietnam trip

Day 1 of Vietnam trip was full of excitement and sweat. After touching down to Ho Chih Min City, i had a bad culture shock. Motorcycles pack the roads, only few cars can be seen, NO ONE seems to be concerned with traffic rules, everyone just move around the road like it's their grandfather's road. Everywhere you go, you can hear horns horning like nobody's business, it wasn't till towards the end of the trip tat i realised they used horn to warn other motorcycles that they are approaching, so please keep left.

Our first lunch in Vietnam at a high class Chinese restaurant. The food was superb, anyway, ALL the food we had in Vietnam was all superb, so much nicer than in Singapore!

On our way to Cu Chi Tunnel........ we saw many many skinny cows....

Outside Cu Chih Tunnel.... fighter plane behind us.... Vietnam was in war for many many years with the Americans and i think, the French.....The Vietnamese then dug the 120km long Cu Chi tunnel in order to avoid the bombings from their enemies.... The Cu Chih tunnel has 3 layers, all underground, and air ventilation is very very bad in the tunnel, ventilated by camouflaged bamboo sticks from the tunnel to the ground above.

Heading down to the tunnel...... happily smiling at the camera...... but little did we know it'd be a torturous, long and dark but exciting 30m trip.....

The start of the tunnel, as u can see, i'm squatting to get in.... and for the rest of the tunnel trip, i'll be in this position...........or worst..... cos as you get further and further in, the tunnel gets smaller and smaller....this entrance was widened for tourists... can you imagine years and years ago when they were having war... how bloody small the hole was?? They dug the tunnel very small for a reason, cos the Vietnamese knew that the Americans were very very big sized.... so the Americans probably wouldn't be able to go into the tunnel, even if they could get in, they couldn't get out... cos of many many booby traps that the Vietnamese had set aside in the tunnel...

Another hole, which none of us wanted to get in.... hahaha... so the tour guide just demonstarted how the Vietnamese gets into the hole and camouflage themselves.... The tour guide told us to just follow him and do not make any turns unless he tells us to, if not, be prepared to get lost in the tunnel forever....there's no way any 2 humans can possibly squeeze side by side into the tunnel...so we went in one by one.... and all we could see was the tour guide's torchlight, other than that, it was pitch darkness....it was bloody scary inside the tunnel, u cannot see anyone infront of you, u can only hear their voices "turn right turn right,dont turn left!" "slope slope!! careful!" ta ma de, slope in the middle of a fucking small tunnel..... i almost died can.... i mean, i really almost died, it was underground.... bad air ventilation, such tiny tiny tiny space i almost had claustophobia........ it was like a nightmare come true.. remember there was a movie when 5 girls went hiking in a cave...... and one girl was fucking stucked in the tunnel........

THIS is how small the damn hole was.......

fucking scary small hole..........

Tour guide dared our frens to get into another tunnel on their own..... "just walk straight" he said........ "what if we turn?" "then get lost lor".... my frens GEI KIANG, purposely made a turn, and both of them screamed underground.... the rest of us were waiting anxiously at the exit, shouting at them telling them "HERE HERE!! exit is here!" cos we thought they got lost... and guess what they told us? "WAH we saw HELL LOTS of bats at the turn we made!!!! DAMN SCARY!! then both of us screamed" ................ dot dot dot

some of the booby traps made for their enemies..... BEFORE: innocent looking thing...

After: Man Made spikes from bamboo sticks....

Finally, exiting the tunnel................. after 30m of walk underground.......

The worst part of the tunnel trip was.... when i was half crawling, half squatting trying to will myself to move on towards the exit which seemed fucking 1km away..... something fucking FLEW PAST and BRUSHED AGAINST MY CHEEK....... i fucking screamed like nobody's business and everyone thought what happened.... CAN YOU IMAGINE?!!! you are in such an enclosed area...... in pitch darkness.... and you can only grope your way through the darkness (cos towards the end of the trip, u'll be far far far behind the tour guide, cos there are many many ppl infront of you, u wont be able to see the torch light from the tourguide) and something fucking fly past so close to you, and you dont know what the fuck issit! it wasn't until i was out of the hole did the tourguide told me it was a bat............ OMG..... ARGH......

Well, after the knee buckling Cu Chi Tunnel trip..... we went to fire some REAL shots.... REAL GUNS REAL SHOTS OK!!! ok, this is not new to those army guys... but to us girls, it was something very new ok..... but i really hated the sound..... everytime someone shoots, it's like i almost jumped out of my skin..... BLOODY LOUD even with the ear mask on..... earpoundingly loud..... ok, i was very very scared..... so i closed both eyes and shot..... and the guy who was instructing me was like shouting "open eyes open eyes!!" cos it was very dangerous to close eyes and shoot.... hahhaha..... he must be thinking im a real idiot...but seriously damn scary wat!! i cant remember mine was the Carbine or M16........

The boys took the AK........ AK47 ah? can't remember AK what... sounds like counter strike to me....

At night, after bathing at the hotel (which turned out to be surprisingly big and comfy).... we went to have dinner in a big boat/ship restaurant....

all of us, posing infront of the boat restaurant and blocking everyone's way into the restaurant...hahaha.. but we didn't care.....

Needless to say, dinner on the ship was fantastic..... sea breeze blowing at your cheeks....... delicious local food.....yummy......

and there was even a fire eating show onboard the ship!

ok.... that was the end of day 1........... more updates to come!

heart-ache.................................... ignore ignore ignore........ cold cold cold......

who else knows me better than you do?

sometimes unintentional words you say can kill a flame, kill something burning so strong in just a few splitting seconds....

the point is, unintentional... do you believe in just thinking of someone cos you simply just miss tat someone as a friend? i wouldn't say it's a miss, it's just tat you just want to keep that friendship. and i was honest enough to tell you. i swear over my heart it was just a simple thought, nothing more, why the hell would i want anyone else other than you in my life anymore? how many times have i mentioned that you are the most important person in my life, that no one can replace you? and did you forgot i JUST said you were my pillar of strength? and now the pillar has just crumbled before my eyes. but i dont regret telling you all tat, im not even sorry for something i dont intend to be so wrongly misintepreted. i wont be sorry cos i really didn't mean it to be like tat. how can you misinterprete me of all people? where's the trust tat we are supposed to have? but seriously, if i'd wanted to keep something from you, i would have kept my bloody mouth shut, i wouldn't be so stupid enough to tell you.

i miss alot of people, as a friend/friends.

sometimes u just feel like sinking in, not wanting to climb up this dark hole towards the sunlight and just let it engulf you.... sometimes you just feel like occupying yourself with many things and still feel you've got nothing to do..... sometimes all i do is just look forward to the wkends, which goes off as quickly as they come.... in a blink of the eye, hols will be ending soon.... and i'm so not looking forward to getting my results at the end of this month..... i was so looking forward to going overseas..... and it came and went off in a whirl......... and now i'm looking forward to this wkend for the Genting + KL trip, which is only for 2 days.... how i wish i can stay there for another couple of days.... how i wish i have the money to stay, how i wish the bf can take more leave.... and before i know it, this Genting trip will be gone again.... and i dont know what else i can look forward to, except for the frightening reality of my results.... *sigh*

Now i wish i'm back in Vietnam, at the hotel........... did i mention the hotel's super big, nice, clean and seriously not as bad as i'd thought it would be?? (it's CONIRM better than one of the Genting hotel, cant remember which) From the outside, when i just arrived at the hotel, i stared in disbelief at the 6 storey high hotel, squeezed in the middle of a dirty street... and i was thinking to myself "oh no, this is bad", but the moment i stepped into my hotel room i was so pleasantly surprised.... its spacious, with a king sized + single bed, with a coffee table, balcony, bathtub equiped SURPRISINGLY CLEAN and big bathroom, and a very large wardrobe, big tv, many many shelves for dono what......... i must slap myself hard for forgetting to take a photo of the hotel room.... *slaps forhead* i just realised i didn't take a photo of the room.... gosh, i'm so stupid...........

anyway, i did plenty of stupid blur things in Vietnam, or even BEFORE i went to Vietnam.... guess what? I actually LEFT MY CAMERA at my bf's hse and just left for the airport.... STUPID RIGHT?? i dont know why the hell i took the camera out of my luggage bag and then left it on the table, i think i intended to put the camera into my handbag so i could take pictures the moment i reach Vietnam.... but i took it out and forgot to put it back(!!!!) yes! slap me for my stupidity! but LUCKY ME (US), me and my bf were the first to reach the airport and we called the other friends who haven't reach the airport to take cab to my bf's hse and ask (wake my bf's mum up) my bf's mum to pass it to them.....it was 6am in the morning........ ARGH..... but at least all went well for the rest of the day....

BUT, that was not all, the nxt day, i forgot to take the battery out of the charger and just took the camera out, WITHOUT THE DAMN BATTERY...... gosh............ this one really cant be helped... we were already halfway travelling to another town before i realised my mistake...... sigh.....

tat's not the end of the story of a blur girl called carine..... on the 2nd last day...... all of us agreed on meeting at 7.30 (Vietnam time) am in the morning..... for the past few days of the trip, my bf was the one setting the alarm clock, but he left the job to his clever girlfren to do it on tat day.... and his clever girlfren set the alarm clock 2 hrs later............cos his clever girlfren really couldn't figure out how to set her Singapore's alarm clock to wake up using Vietnam's time..... dont know what i'm saying rite? i also dont know how to differentiate Vietnam's time and Singapore's time.... sigh sigh sigh.......... BLUR BLUR BLUR.

watch out for more stories of a blur girl called Carine. sian.

I just need him. My Pillar of strength.

I'm finally back from Vietnam with a bad sun burn (which i dont mind really for all those experiences i gained from the trip)! Who said Vietnam is not fun for hols?? We proved it wrong!.... We were very lucky to have a local with us acting as our tourguide and we visited many places that most tourist wont even get to visit....... i'll be back with more photos and details later cos i passed my memory card to a fren to upload...... i think i gained ALOT of weight from the trip........ gosh, seafood EVERY SINGLE DAY u think leh?! and there was alot of Fear Factor Dares...... which i proudly accomplished, but was after much forcing frm my bf....... "must try! singapore dont have one must try! if not u come here for wat?! Try lah try!!!" grrr......... there was alot of sight seeing and eating and eating and eating..... we only shopped a little cos we didn't have much time.... anyway, i'm proud to say although we had so little time to shop, i still managed to buy 5 pairs of shoes for less than 20bucks... woohoo.... the most expensive shoes i bought? SGD$4. WAH LAO EH, and it's not a pair of plain old slippers, it's a pair of covered pumps ok! Even their nice evening high heel slip on shoes only for SGD$5 only!!

will be back with more details after i get my memory card back!

i'm so damn fucking busy these days tat sometimes i get quite tired of everything........... so busy with tuition, meeting up ppl on nearly every evenings of my wkdays...... and even mornings for my online shopping thingy.........but i really shouldn't complain, it only means i've got great friends around........i'm very guilty about some things, and i wished i was there when i was needed, but as it turned out i was needed somewhere else too....... really wished i was there to enjoy like they did......... i wished i went i wished i heard the damn phone ring........read Yelen's blog and a sense of envy overwhelmed me, i wasn't there to enjoy those moments, i wasn't there to help, i wasn't there to feel the crazy moments like they did.........everyone seem to know something but they keep it hush, with the knowing looks on their faces, like they know something u dont......

did i mention i'll be going Vietnam from15th -19th august? and KL + Genting road trip from 25th -26th? and my spree deadline's this sunday and i gotta do everything by next tuesday??? did i mention i'll be dead busy?? BUSY! BUSY BUSY! grrrrrr..........

"Don't have Expectations of people, else find disappointment and sadness at ur door step. Leave them options and freedom. Life lives better." - quoted from Annie.

how true. how aching. i'm often held in situations with no options.

my heart is bleeding,

i'll never forgive,

not on my lfe.

i've been trying to contain the raging anger that's been building up in me for the past few days. but that was the final straw. final. no point being the good angel when the devil clearly wont cherish anything.

i wont forget that look when he turned away without even looking, without even pausing. he just walked right towards the door. it' early in the morning, what have i done? nope, nothing to make him angry. just woke up especially early with him to help him iron his top. just woke up excessively early to make breakfast for him, my first time. he walked pass the eggs and bread i laid for him on the table, without even looking back. i begged him to just stay awhile, to even just have a few mouthfuls. he just turned and walk away, saying he'll be late.

yes, he was angry, angry at last night. for dono what fuck, for dono what fuck i dont know. it was a small matter. i more than made up for him with the breakfast. in any case, how can anyone stay angry for over a night for small matters? or so i thought.

after slamming the gates, i dumped away everything into the bin, right infront of my staring father.

Been soooooooooooooo busy with the spree thingy.......... there's really ALOT to do....... and today's the deadline so i'll be even more busy today......... dread dread dread........... been facing the comp alot for the past few days.... i think i might get blind soon....

did i mention i finished harry potter book 7 on sunday? hur.......... i kept reading and reading and reading.......... i can really safely say it's the best book i've ever read so far.............. REALLY... i swear.... it's so good..... exciting, engaging, super depressing and funny all at the same time.... omg..... anyway, i was in a state of shock after reading the book on sunday..... i cant believe tat's the last book i'll ever read on harry potter ever again.... it's so depressing............. and of cos, depressing cos ........... , i'm not going to spoil it for u... go figure out why............. only thing i can say is, she killed alot of characters, like DUH, you dont know.... the media has been predicting the deaths of many characters for the past month prior to the release of the book.....

my heart went cold........ STILL is cold...... *shakes head in disbelieve* cant believe it's the last book...... oh man................................

Shop online at www.pink-candy-floss.blogspot.com

hey guys!!! shop online at

http://www.pink-candy-floss.blogspot.com!!! A shop shared by me and another friend.... We're ordering tops and bags for our first 2 sprees from Taiwan!!! it's all VERY affordable and VERY NICE!! i super love the bags ah.... im intending to buy a few myself.... and the clothes!! got ALOT ALOT of variety!! DO DO DO peng chang and visit the website!! yay!! happy............. first time setting up shop...... i've been VERY VERY busy preparing for the details on the shop lor.......... u cant imagine how much details there are.............. SLIGHTEST details also must be careful..... spent like dono how many HOURS doing the webpage up, contacting suppliers etc..........

btw those pics on the website are NOT THE ONLY things we're selling, they're just a few out of 500 items frm the webpage.... we can order EVERYTHING tat's in the TAIWAN websites (except when its a stock out situation then bo bian lah).... taiwan websites links are in the blog...... and hey! it's really cheap, trust me, im not earning much at all..... reduced to the lowest of prices already....... cos we're just setting this first 2 sprees just for friends.......or friends' friends......... maybe u guys can try to combine orders into one, so can save on postage fees!

buy >6 pieces of clothes in a single order to waive off postage fees!!

buy >3 bags in single order to waive off postage fees!!

by the way, if u guys see any overseas shopping website, can ask me to open a spree for you guys........ even frm korea, japan, US.... as long as it's cheap, and response good i can open the spree for u all....

So damn pissing off, stupid school………….. gotta go down all the way to pay school fees this time round, unlike the previous time when we could pay online via our cards………… ta ma de……… ridiculous…….. and they’re charging us so much somemore…….. and the most exasperating thing is we cant even get thru to our relative programme officers thru the phone…. They’re always either busy or having lunch…. Pain in the ass………. Bf’s on mc today, poor thing……… fever, flu, cough and everything…. U realize they always come in a package?

cancelled tuition today......... 2 reasons: 1. bf sick, accompany him.... 2. although bf's sick, he's still sending me back to sch to pay my sch fees............ so shouldnt i accompany him?hahha... hard to figure who's accompanying who.........

kinda addicted to online shopping..... feels so good to see the parcel arrive at ur doorsteps and the top u've chosen is the exact same one u've seen on the net (or slap urself if it doesnt turn out to be half of wat it seems on the pic).... u dont even have to step out of ur doorsteps and fight with the rest of the kiasu girls at GSS for the LAST PIECE tat u like, not knowing how many other girls have already tried that very piece........tried my 2nd time online shopping and it's super shiok.... they have so much of variety and most are the latest design in taiwan...... woots......... fuck GSS la, online shopping is the in thing now.... hahhaa.... GSS=no size=last pieces=messy displays

i dont know how i've grown so dependent on him..... even for the smallest details......... i was ordering my food today at Marche with my primary sch frens......... and realised he always order my food for me........ or when i had dried noodles for lunch today, i realised he always help me mix the mee evenly for me so the sauce will be even out..... and those dreadful long days in school with my heavy bag, i'll wish he'll be there to help me carry my bag........ there are always certain things that we "Share" to do, the its-ur-job kinda thing, and we do it subconsciously, the mo qi we have.........for example its my job to pour water and get the mattress frm my bro's room when we're at my house...we know what to do without speaking it out loud....... well, of cos there'll be irritating moments when we both fight for his empty-in-the-middle-bolster at night (u knw his bolster can fold into half?).........but we just simply refuse to buy ANOTHER bolster....cos we think we wont sleep closer at night, we'll just end up hugging our own bolster instead of each other.... or those moments when we argue who should switch off the lights, who should pour water, close and lock the door..... THOSE are the things that we dont have the "its-ur-job" moments...... hur...... like duh, who'll volunteer to go switch off the lights when u're alrdy nestled cosily on the bed........

*sigh* so sweet.......

just took up a tuition assignment....every tues and thurs afternoon.... well, didn't really wanna take it up at first..... but i think it should be quite an easy task......... im going to teach a p5 korean kid (i still dont know if it's a he/she i forgot to ask the agent *smacks head*) basic conversational chinese......... he/she is not taking it as a subject in sch, so no stress! the parents insisted to just go and talk to him/her..... they wanted the tuition THRICE a wk, 1.5hrs each time.... siao, i dont wanna waste the bus fare go there so many times..... so i suggested twice a wk 2hrs each..... hur.... easy money.....wanted to charge $25/hr, but the agent said it'll be like teaching a lower primary kid.... so $22/hr lor......quite reasonable la, since im only going there to talk cock with the kid....... maybe just teach 你,我,他, 你好吗? haha.... hopefully it'll be easy man........... yay! $44 each time i go there!..... arghhhhh.....somehow i dont really look forward to it, but for the money.......... PERSEVERE......

the agent claimed it's "korean culture" for the parents to meet the tutor for the 1st lesson, so they insisted i start the tuition TOMORROW so they can have a look at me....... hmmmmm........ so weird.... will i be under the parents' scrutiny for the entire lesson?

i just realised if i had charged 25bucks an hr, tat means i'll get 400bucks a month leh..... WAH..... 22bucks/hr=....... $352/8 lessons...... not bad lah....

im going to shop shop shop tml with vel! cant wait man............ it's my FIRST day actually going to shop at the GSS, ok lah maybe not first, i've bought some things (at JP mind u, not in town, SIAN!), but yet felt like i've not bought anything much, i cant believe i actually bought TWO mascaras, dammit, the 1st one was impulse buying w/o even asking around for opinions, ended up a fren bought it before and said it sucked.... the 2nd one i didn't regret at all.....VERY good, frm canmake... VERY thick and lengthens too.... and i also bought the maybelline eye and lip makeup remover since fancl's one apparently dont work wonders on waterproff eye makeups.....anyway, 10bucks, not expensive at all.... buy frm john little! $9.90, Watsons selling at $10.90! 1 buck difference, but STILL...... u'll feel better when u think u're buying it cheaper rite?

i might just WINDOW shop first before i act on impulse and buy things to regret AGAIN......... SIAN..... no $$$!!!! grrrrrrrr.....

i wonder why i feel so much poorer after the 200bucks frm the govt........ i seem to have more things to buy and less money to spend.......... argh.

oh yah! forgot to mention!.... Transformers is GOOD! super super cool! i like the movie alot.... hahah...it's like ur childhood cartoons come alive.... cool.... got me quite hyped up in my seats...... haah... which is quite a diff thing to do since i rarely get excited... or maybe it's the mood lah... was in quite a good mood that day...

a friend JUST told me Fibrewig mascara sucks..... and i was like, wth, now then say.... bought it alrdy....... grrrr..... canmake is good! canmake mascara, the black one, not the gold one..... anyway canmake products are good!.... super bling bling... i like..... but my skin's sensitive to it.... :P only to the blusher.... not the eye shadows....

the moment i saw the extra 200bucks in my bank, i immediately went shopping right after piano lesson today.......... woohoo..... spent 50bucks on dono what........it's always like this, u think u've bought quite a number of things... but when u get back home and u take out all the things u've bought.... turned out u only bought a little.... "so little for 50bucks?" damn........

anyway, bought the Fiberwig mascara for $24....... hur, the black one was actually sold out at lot1 SaSa.....had to reserve and go jurong point to get it.......went home and tried it straight away... overrated.... i like thick and volumnous mascaras, this Fiberwig lengthens but lacks volume.... but when i tried it together with Maybelline's mascara, it worked wonders.... thickens, and lengthens... BUT mafan.... lazy leh.... and i also bought this plastic thingy that helps u trim ur eyebrows..... dont know how to trim my eyebrows with the damn thing so i used it to DRAW the eyebrows... turned out to be purrrfect.... hahaha....bought the scissors for eyebrows for 10 frigging bucks at SaSa, i think i got ripped off....but i couldn't find it anywhere in Watsons.... grr.... bought the Fancl washing puff too... again, so expensive for something so small.... but wat to do...... my old puff dirty alrdy..... sian................. all these mini shopping shits for 50bucks.... now im starting to regret it.........

im waiting for a treat from the bf............... i want Pariss buffet!!......... hungry.........

very lowwwwwwwwww morale................. hurting comments........ on 2 different occasions................ almost on the same thing........ makes me think......... am i a good friend? maybe not...... but im real sorry........ but sometimes i really cant help it............

anyone intro me one good toner and moisturiser???! anyone used Shiseido before? badly need one..... since i've not been toning and moisturising my face since goodness knows when.... it's time i start doing tat now....

im getting sooooooo sick of chalets... and roms........ grrr...... such a busy busy busy week..... wed went mambo with the girs, thurs went for piano lesson before meeting up with huiyee and serene for yee's 21st bday, friday piano lesso again and went bf's hse.... Saturday chalet till Monday...... chalet for a friend's ROM, Monday went home and went for the ROM and Fantastic Four movie.... didn't get home till around 1am.... all of us were like so zonked out cos we didn't sleep much at the chalet..... GOSH. and i've got yet ANOTHER chalet this thursday..... oh my goodness......

i've been to so many ROMs this year man....i think around 4 ROMS.... the whole world getting married...... and i helped the newly wedded couple register for a HDB flat.... so cool ah.... but still need to queue for the flats selection and everything..... quite mafan.... tat's why they asked me to help them..... sudden impulse to get a flat too.... :P but i want 4-room and above, i'll never get a 3 room hdb flat..... super super small ah.... even those new 4 room flats already so small..... i've got high expectations for a flat.... i dont mind resale flats if they're very spacious... how ah, i feel like ROM-ing and getting a flat..... hahahhaa.....

yesterday was fun with the girls............ legs ached hell lot though......... gotta admit we're old..... arghh.... and my feet got stepped so many bloody times.......

anyway, rachel totally shocked me yesterday....she was the one who jioed us go clubbing, she was the one who kept saying she wanna drink 3 shots and ended up drinking dono how many shots...and she was the only one seh yesterday...... while we were queuing up for Zouk i was grabbing on to rachel and she kept telling me not to move..... hahahahah..... but she was the one swaying to and fro and talking rubbish... and while we were queuing May went to get her super nice bbq hotdog from dono where..... never help me buy! super nice ah!.... i found it super funny lor, hahaha where got ppl go club halfway eat hotdog one.....

hmmmm... the exams period was hellish.......... but i've got a very tolerant bf who took everything from me......... from getting pissed at the littlest things to moodswings........ he's been really nice to take all these shits from me.... and lucky for me that i've got him.... if not i might just burst under the pressure........ not forgetting those after-u-study-we-go-play treats to motivate me to study...... i wish for these kinda days to last forever.... and i know they will.... still, little quarrels are unavoidable.... *hugz* eeEEee.....mushy....thank you hubby for being there for me.... 4 years 8 mths=56 months..... lao fu lao qi.....


i remembered when we were together for the 1st 4 months, we never quarrelled AT ALL........ AT ALL.... everyday was such bliss.... we thought there was something wrong with the both of us... hahahha.... we even wanted to "stage" a quarrel to make us look more like a couple... "why other ppl together always quarrel we never quarrel ah".... hahah we were both crazy......... well, of cos, we regretted it after that...... cos once we started the real quarrelling, we couldn't stop......... bleah...


it's been a long while since i've felt this good about everything, from love, to friendship, to family relationship.... must be the holidays..... well, i must learn how to cherish whatever i've got....

oh man, im so desperate to get out of this frigging place........i NEED TO, i WANT TO go overseas.............. i've got this impulse to fulfil my long lost dream of diving............. i wanna go diving, i wanna get the license... i wanna take pictures when im under the sea......... i wanna dive!!! i wanna see shipwrecks! omg......... this dream of diving had been with me since young..... but i've always never really given it much thought...... i mean, i dont have the kinda money to make it as a hobby... so i dont even wanna think about it....... BUT BUT BUT!!! still!! if i dont dive at least ONCE in my whole life, i might just bloody regret it when i die....... i wanna get that license to dive!! but i need the $$$$$$$$$. i saw the Fins magazine my bf's sis left in the car......... and the dream was kinda relished again....... i saw the shipwrecks, i even saw a pic of the shipwrecked plane........ omg, i love wrecks....... i remembered searching on the internet about the bermuda triangle....... i love ship wrecks...... period...... i was crazy over Titanic too.... haizZZz..... pity the bf doesnt share the same interest as me..........

STILL cant believe exams are over...... well nearly all my weekends are packed......... and i am still deciding if i should find some job to do or just make do with the 2 tuition im giving..... and i just pre-ordered harry potter!!! cant wait for 21st july when the book comes out... i'll probably be chionging the book and maybe mourning for a particular character frm book7....... sad....... anyway, spent 17.80 for 3 books!!! shiok! some promotion at popular buy one get 1 free... and the third one i bought it with the 10dollar voucher i got for pre ordering harry potter book..... hols is the time for burying yourself in a good book and forget about the world....

yay!!! exams are finally finally over over over!!!!!! woohoo!!! It feels so damn fucking good!! arghhh..... but i've got piano lessons twice next week..... so not looking forward to it since i havent been practising at all for the past month............ anyway, just got back from Malaysia with bf, yes AGAIN........... super fun to go 'overseas' with the bf even though it's just 'next door'........ hur.... i dont even wanna think about the results......... sucks............. this exams was one of the worst ever in my fucking life............ aRGHHHHH............. but luckily, my final paper wasn't THAT BAD..... at least it was quite manageable for me......... i spotted quite a number of questions........... but the rest of the papers can go to hell........... i wanna go overseas!!!! overseas!!! grrr..........

oh yah btw, photos of birthday are up at this website:

http://carinez1.multiply.com/photos/album/42

fucking suck when u're the last one of all your frens to end exams......... all of them either ended last week or ended TODAY.... anyhow, i'll be the last to end... fucking suck too when u're sick during exams period........ i was sick for 4 frigging days...... diarrhea-ed for 4 days........ gosh..... this was the worst bout of nonsense i've ever had since god knows when...... it was so bad i cant even drink water..... 10 seconds after drinking water i'll hafta run to the loo to LS..... wah lao......... it was that bad.... really.... *swear* LS all water ok!!! wah lao! gosh.... yesterday was by far the worst, i woke up 3 times in the middle of the night to LS, the last time was 5am in the morning, and i couldnt' sleep after tat (i slept at 1am)..... and the fucking worsteroustest thing was i have exams TODAY..... TODAY TODAY TODAY!! anyway, finally went to see the doctor this morning before paper... and the moment i went in i straightaway told him i need something STRONG, FAST, EFFECTIVE something tat works NOW... cos i've got a paper later and i don wanna run to the loo halfway through the my paper..... anyway, the medicine really worked quite well.... still feeling weak but tummy feels better now..... but im soooooooooo tired.... brain feels dead.... only slept for 3plus hrs, the rest of the sleep was like, super restless sleep........ restless sleep IS THE WORST..... makes u feel all the more tired.........

bad bad week..... management accounting paper suck hardcore, fucking difficult....ibm too... ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! fucking pissed..... all my papers so far all fucked up, fucking difficult!!!!!!!! i've still got 2 more papers to go...... ending exams on 8th june............... it gets super demoralising when u receive msgs asking u to go out nowadays....... u want so badly to go but u know u cant........... CAN JIO ME AFTER 8th JUNE?!!!??!?! dont msg me now...... makes me lostform..... anytime after 8th june!!!!!! ANYTIME ANYDAY...

just saw jd's tag on his blog, "to drink till like means you have a bunch of good frens".... tat's bloody true.... with a bunch of gd frens u know u can just let urself go cos u know they'll always help u, clear up the mess for u, do sai gang for u no matter how much they complain the nxt day..... ahahhaha.... only gd, loyal, true frens will do all these for u....

u have no idea how much i wanna go kbox NOWNOW NOW..... 2 down, 3 more to go.... fucking long long long time before i can play till i ki siao..... 8th june..... 8th JUNE LEH. it's only MAY now.... omg.....

i want my longer hair back..... dyed longer hair.........think i look better with longer hair.... sucks to cut my hair this way.... so difficult to grow it back..... and it's like a vicious cycle... u keep cutting back the same hair style.....

i realised i have ALOT of different looks from different angles.... i look totally different if i open up my eyes when taking photos... i look different when i smile and 'gek' my chin higher... all those photos i took at the party i didnt bother to 'gek' my chin and my face looked FAT..... so many ppl said i looked better with the chubby face i had last time...... true?! dont know....

i look ugly in alllllllll the photos i took at the bbq..... yucks...... bottomline: dont take photos during bbq.... sweaty, hair messy, ugly... grr....... anyway the photos are up here: http://carinez1.multiply.com/photos/album/42

wonderful 21st birthday

my birthday: this summarises most of it.... hahahhahah... grabbed from Yanwen!! sorry girl,no time to blog..... grrrrrrrrrr............. exams tml and i've got fucking insomia..... arghhh.... i shouldn't be online now... i now... :P

"Ok back to what happened. Being a divine member of the Yaya-sisterhood,I met Carine earlier to run errands with her two other friends Lynn and Samuel.So basically I was there at her chalet at about 3pm,until 5am when I got home this morning. Decorating the place was fun,her friends are lovely and funny people,I think I like them. Haha..

But the best part of the day was the booze downing session post cake-cutting.At first I'd decided I would stay sober and not drink too much. I was so sober I even had the nerve to give them shit about the air con temperature. I think we're not close friends for a reason,because I wasn't scolding them and I wasn't angry,although they all thought I was. It was funny seeing them trying to calm me down when I wasn't even worked up. Fucking funny. Guess they should hope never to see me blow my top then wahahahahaha.But when I saw everyone behaving like they had some screws loosened in their heads, I decided hey I'm not coming to this party without getting high man,damn it.SO I said to Carine hey let's have a drink. We drank vodka,chivas,bombay,and some strawberry alcohol which tasted like Bailey's but not half as nice,all mixed with Coke. Man I got red after like,one cup. Yes you can laugh. Then my world started spinning,and I walked in a zig zag manner thinking it was a straight line. BUT I was not drunk,because I didn't feel like puking. I need to add that I would like to apologise for my silly behaviour and I'm sorry if I disturbed others more than I ever should. Haa. But nothing can be worse than my Brewerkz saga,so last night was very mild.

Ok here's the really hilarious part. Heting,Ben Shih and Roger were ALL drunk,and they started acting like some lunatics. My goodness,what a sight to behold. The absolute verbal nonsense they started spewing!! I swear they were mad,and embarrassing. And next door,the same thing was happenening to Sam,he was like,I'm very conscious,I'm not drunk,I can still blah blah blah blah..It was so funny. But everyone was like,no you're drunk,just fucking admit it.But the real drama came when he started throwing up. Twice,once on each bed,and a third time in the bathroom. And that was when we got reminded that he'd spent a lot of time earlier BBQ-ing downstairs and eating. Great. Perfect. So some of the girls cleaned up after him,removed the bedsheets,tried to dry the mattress etc,and put him to sleep,err I mean,to bed.But after they left,guess who cleaned up the mess?The birthday girl and myself. YAYness!

So I washed his white shirt,while Carine err,scooped the "debris" into the toilet bowl to clear the water pipes etc. Damn it right? LOL. And I washed one of the two bedsheets,after which she washed the other one. I'm laughing as I'm typing this,but it's strange at the time of washing up such disgusting things,we didn't actually feel disgusted. It's weird! We were like it couldn't be more natural doing this,when in fact that's rubbish. But it certainly was a very memorable experience.Well,I'm sure Ms Wan had a blast of a birthday,and I was happy to have been a part of it. :)p.s. I was just reading Jd's and Penny's blog,and apparently they all had trouble sleeping. Me too! I had to wake up at 10 for five minutes to read the papers before I could go back to sleep until nearly 1pm... "

there u go, my birthday. hur. i'll put pictures up tml.... if im not so depressed after my paper....... sianness.....

I really must thank all of you for coming and making this birthday such a memorable one for me..... hahah as lynn had said, it'll be the first and last time........... and I LOVE ALL THE PRESENTS........ wonderful wonderful wonderful bunches of friends i have.........the 04, 06, A2, uni and one miscellaneous... wahhahah... enjoyed myself totally..... although there was alot of clearing up to do.... but the memories, the touching part when everyone came down at 12 midnight, those fun we had when we were drinking= wonderful 21st birthday..... special thanks to the gang for helping and yanwen! and all those who came!!........ dono how to thank all of u enough.... i dont know how to show i'm touched, but im really touched.....

ANYWAY, i didn't know u guys asked my bf so many questions ah!!!!!! super funny when he told me ah............ win already lor.... ask behind my back....... but im glad the bf can click so well with all of my frens..........totally surprised.... such a sociable, nice, caring bf i have........ btw he cleared up alot of the mess and "debris" for me too.... hur.... and went in and out of the carpark to send alot of ppl home several times.... hahhaa... at least 4 times.... he had to pay the per entry fee of the carpark so many times.....

not feeling very excited now.... though i should've been counting now to my bday now......... sigh.................... why the fuck must my 21st bday be in the middle of exams...... STILL........ every year it's always like tat..... pissed...... not very please with the bf too..... not good mood..... well, my mood will definitely change for the better tml.... I HOPE.... tat's provided if i remember to bring everything..... grrrr........

i've never felt so gan chiong for exams in my whole life before.... now i know how it feels.... i dont wanna fail exams... i dont wanna waste money....i dont want.. i WONT... I WONT FAIL OK........ fuck. i've never felt so tired my whole life too..... so damn tired today..... feel so drained.... walking zombie..... but the trip to vivocity with vel felt good after a whole day of studying.... she sent a pack of chicken essence directly to me in school! touched... well, we went to get the top i saw at forever 21 last wkend.... hur... 50bucks top... if i dont buy it i know i'll regret it.... cos ever since i set my eyes on it last wkend i juz couldn't stop thinking about it.... and i totally regretted not buying it ON TAT DAY itself and had to waste time go buy it today.... pui.... waste time.... everytime like tat.... "dono wanna buy or not leh... aiyah go back think first lah..." when u already know u want it... juz tat u dont know why at tat point in time u never thought of buying it..... bobian still have to make another trip to buy it.... stupid.... GIRLS.

i've never felt so gan chiong for exams in my whole life before.... now i know how it feels.... i dont wanna fail exams... i dont wanna waste money....i dont want.. i WONT... I WONT FAIL OK........ fuck. i've never felt so tired my whole life too..... so damn tired today..... feel so drained.... walking zombie..... but the trip to vivocity with vel felt good after a whole day of studying.... she sent a pack of chicken essence directly to me in school! touched... well, we went to get the top i saw at forever 21 last wkend.... hur... 50bucks top... if i dont buy it i know i'll regret it.... cos ever since i set my eyes on it last wkend i juz couldn't stop thinking about it.... and i totally regretted not buying it ON TAT DAY itself and had to waste time go buy it today.... pui.... waste time.... everytime like tat.... "dono wanna buy or not leh... aiyah go back think first lah..." when u already know u want it... juz tat u dont know why at tat point in time u never thought of buying it..... bobian still have to make another trip to buy it.... stupid.... GIRLS.

u know, i normally dont plan for things so last minute..... usually i always plan WAYYYYYYY ahead of time.....(except studying for exams)..... this time round, my mind is so fucking stretched i get irrational (rational-economic man-Taylor, or issit Fayol?!!! knn, even now also thinking of exams) and irritated damn fucking easily.... point being, i've got SO MUCH FUCKING THINGS to think about these days.... my mind feel so saturated..... haiz............ off to pack... pack... pack..... i feel like i've missed out something.... i dono what... fuck lah......... forget it...



Introduction to Business and Management.... fucking subject i have to take........ knn.... ccb.... fucking lots of things to remember... fucking lots of notes to read....fucking no time to study........ pissed....

woots! can get the gst 200bucks thingy!! i think it's for a 4 year thing rite? i wonder those born after 1st july can get the money or not?.... hmmmm... mum says im lucky cos born before july 1st can get.... those born after cant get.... but i dont think so leh..... i think they go by year one i.e those born before year 1986

FUCKING CCB. I LOST MY FUCKING HP. AGAIN. AGAIN. AGAIN. I CANT BELIEVE MY STUPIDITY. I DONT EVEN WANNA MENTION IT. I CARELESSLY LEFT IT ON A CHAIR IN PUNGGOL PARK AND JUZ FUCKING WALKED OFF WITHOUT CHECKING. FUCK. CHAO CHEE BYE, KNN. best thing is i have exams on MONDAY. FUCK! how the fuck am i going to contact anyone?!!! we were supposed to meet before we go into the exam hall. arghhhhhhhhhh.......... and they are my sim new frens and i have NO IDEA OF CONTACTING THEM NOW!!!!!!!!!!! fucking unlucky. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cant believe my luck. *slaps head real hard* i ought to be shot. this is not the 1st time. this is the 10th time i think that i've lost my phone/wallet WHATEVER. i can lose anything. I FUCKING HATE MYSELF AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really wanna cry. fucking new phone somemore. fuck. fuck fuck. my mum is going to fucking kill me. i still haven break the news to her yet. i dont dare to listen to what she has to say. i dont even dare to call her and tell her. how. how. how.
anyway, those who sees this post please send me an email with ur hp number k?

im so stressed i might juz rip my hair off my scalp........... it's like studying for TWO A levels in less than 2 weeks.........i really need to fucking blame it for my super last minute........ i didn't realise there was SO MUCH TO BLOODY READ fuck fuck fuck.. im so screwed........... my stack of notes can reach my table if i pile them all up together....... gosh.........how the FUCK AM I supposed to remember so many fugging things......... and the point is, i already know i study damnnnnnnnnnnn slowly and i still leave it to the last minute to do my revision.... *slaps myself real hard* now i hafta study from 9-7 everyday to make up for the lack of studying for the past year...... and try to swallow everything up and vomit them out next week..........i need more fish, beans, fishcod, chicken essence.... anything to boost my memory.... hur.....

每个女孩都是天使,


当她落下第一滴眼泪时,


上帝就收回他的翅膀,


所以,


世间的男孩都应该知道,


当你面前的女孩,


为你落下第一滴眼泪时,


她已经为你放弃整个天堂.......

my bf said i was crazy when i told im i wanted a pink nintendo ds lite...... i've seen so many girls playing it ah........ looks damn fun...... and i want something to keep me occupied during my 2 mths break......... something portable and nice looking and fun.......... got the dog game!!!!! if i cant get to keep a real dog as a pet, i can have the dog game!!!! NintenDOGS.... grrrrrrrrr............. i want it so much......... but its so expensive............. and i wonder if it can play downloaded games or not.... or can it be modified..... hmmm.....

hmmmm.. i've been thinking about the birthday wish list... and my mind is currently blank now... cos i've got so much things on my mind.... fuck exams ok... fuck. arghhhhhhh

anyway, here's the rough idea:

Birthday Wishlist 2007 (hahaha)

1. clothes, clothes clothes and more clothes.. T shirts.......

2. Sweater/Jacket

3. Bags... any kind of bags (clutch, sch, handbag...) except straw bags.... juz ordered 2 online... hehehe...

4. watch

5. perfume

6. $45 pink rugged-looking cap from River Island

7. a nice book to read after exams!!

8. shoes

9.pass exams

10. live happily ever after

11. lots of love from frens, family, bf

12. fancl washing powder plus washing puff (added)

13. Pink Nintendo Ds Lite/Pink PSP (added)

14. Canon Ixus newest dono what model

hmmm...blogging at changi airport mac is such a weird experience.... im supposed to be studying......with jolly........and that girl still haven reach yet........win liao lor........ we were supposed to meet at 12.... grr.....she said this place is conducive to study....not really lah... the sofa, big and high square table at coffee bean appeals to me more...too bad both of us dun drink coffee.... this fucking keyboard sucks hardcore lah.... spacebar fucked up...

cant believe my luck today.... sheesh......... worst luck ever.... and i am so comletely tired/dead/zonked.... feel so completely useless......... fuck maths....... screw it....go to hell..... spent 4hrs doing only one chapter.... and i've still not completely understood the damn thing... so damn bloody difficult..... grrrrrrr........ and MANAGEMENT ACCOUNTING CAN GO TO HELL TOO........... spent TWO BLOODY damn hrs trying to figure out the answers for just ONE question.... oh gosh.... and regretted it totally after that..... should have juz left it alone and let it rot or smth, shouldn't have wanted to PURSUE the EXACT answers..... it's always like that... u juz cannot let it stay there and leave it alone, u DIE DIE must figure out the answer... and u can spend 2 hrs on a question and u still haven't gotten the answers... tat's the thing abt maths/calculation subjects i absolutely detest....

stress. what a bad time to catch a flu. super super super blocked and running nose.. i can't even sleep on my sides at night... have to sleep straight, cos mucus will drip...... yucks.... and i must stuff one tissue INTO my nostrils to prevent it frm dripping..... not kua zhang... real lor...

i wonder if anyone's as lazy, as cant-be-bothered as me............ i came back home at around 7.30pm... and have yet to bath since.......... it's 11pm now.......... ARGH........... well, i did everything except bathing.... i had dinner with my parents...... ate till around 8.45...... practiced piano awhile till 9.30....... taught my lil bro for his english paper tml, till around 10.30..... and have been lazing around since then...... trying to get my mood geared for bathing (yes, it takes alot of mental strength for me mind u).... which i find it very hard at times like this when im both physically and mentally tired and stressed out......... im not a dirty kinda person.... (though my bf doesn't think so. he thinks im super lazy-dirty kinda person... :P he's got this weird habit to bath whenever he gets out of the hse, even downstairs to get sth, when he comes up, he'll bath -_-")......... when i bath, i REALLY BATH, i even scrub in btw my toes........ i can bath for like 45mins........ i juz wanna prove im not the only girl like that............. someone tell me, im not the only one?! i know of some of my friends who dont bath after they come back home, if they dont sweat or anything then it's ok what!!! (ANYWAY, washing ur hair TWICE a day is damn unhealthy can, wash away all the essential oils frm ur hair, leaving it dry and brittle) i think it's ok lor........ i mean, if i've only been in sch the whole damn day.... and school's air cons are always on full blast....bath for wat? so cold... never sweat...... okok.. i admit, im A LITTLE lazy lah.....ok happy? pui.

They say we have couple face.. Nowadays i juz get bored of studying and find stupid things to do with the phone..Argh..

spent a wonderful half-day with the bf yesterday nite............... woo hoo...... finally after only *ahem* one wk of studying..... -guilty- ANYWAY, shopped around (finally gotten my white shorts frm m)phosis!!!), ate Fish and Co after such a long long long time (we got sick of it during the first 2 yrs of our relationship :P), and watched a frigging nice show 200 Beauty!! very good storyline!!! then we spent 1hr driving around trying to figure out how to get to stadium waterfront and ending up at geylang, East Coast Park and Kallang Riverside Park....... hur...... STUPID bf refused blankpoint to check the street directory cos he kept claiming he knows how to get there..... the egoisticness of boys........ Finally reached the place.... walked around, took some pictures and laid on one big round stone thing to look at the stars......... it's been a long time since we did that..........

anyway, the best part of the day (to me) was our supper at Geylang...... guess what was our supper??? DURIANS, MANGO, COCONUT............ shiok man..... we chose our own fruits (alot of varieties to choose from!!) and ate by the tables at the roadside..... so cool.....u can reject the fruits straightaway if u feel they're not fresh... they let u poke/press/smell the durian before they serve it to you.... being 2 stupid-blur-like-gong-gong ppl who'd never chosen fruits before in their whole life, we juz chose everything they said was good.... hahah..... but they really chose good fruits for us, so there was nothing to complain about..... they've got big bins by the table for u to spit/dump ur seeds in...... and bf was sitting at the other end of the table so i was quite distracted by his aiming-of-seeds-into-the-bin thing.... i was so worried he'd mis-que and hit me with a durian seed/shell.......... hur....

abf finally relented after some persuasion by me, who wanted to look at those prostitutes (never see before wat!! curious rite??)......... i saw some were very very pretty ah......... only SOME.... the rest cannot make it..... anyway, bf wasn't very willing to let me see, cos he said 'eh, prostitutes also humans leh, not some exhibits, they also quite poor thing come here and work one' .......... but somehow i dont quite agree with him..... another reason why he's unwilling to let me see was cos he said those prostitutes sure 'anti' girls...... they'll know we are juz driving around to look at them ah..... and they might 'attack' us in the car.... hahahhahah........ sibeh lame.......... but i really got diao-ed by some of them.... they didn't look too please to see me........hur.... i kept asking my bf to 'hey look look!!! tat one quite pretty! hey look look! tat Thai girl looks like shit!! so fat!!' but my bf juz kept saying 'wah lao, i driving i driving! this place so damn small i need to manoeuvre around stop distracting me! i hate this place, so crammed'.......... true enough, i finally peeled my attention off the prostitutes and onto the crammed road..... there were 2 lanes, but only one lane was for moving cars.......many cars were parked at the other lane, and there were sooooooooooooooooo many old uncles, and even very young men walking/staring and talking to those prostitutes..... maciam their grandfather's road......

by the time we reached home, it was already 4am........ tired, but happy.......

anyway, end of story.......... dead tired now............ gotta wake up early to study tml........ argh...........

i really shouldn't have searched for videos of the band.... shoudn't have watched videos on youtube... when i could have spent the 2-3 hrs reading thru lecture notes, sorting out lecture notes and tutorial questions for each topics..... shouldnt' have left it till NOW to do it..... *yawns* worst thing is i've got sch tml...... in the MORNING...... oh gosh... someone help me.... and im supposed to stay in sch to do some revision till 6 (lesson ends at 12) till my promised treat...... ARGH..........

Bukit Panjang Govt High And Teck Whye Secondary School Combined Military Band

oh my god, i cant believe i found this..... oh my goodness... when i saw this i wanted to cry.... anyway, spot me... this was when i was in secondary 2... im right right right right infront, playing on the marimba (aka xylophone,auxiliary percussion... anyway too small... last time video camera not as advanced.... anyway on ur speakers... year 2000 syf prelimary rounds i think.... finals we were superb!! but dont have the video!









year 2002, i participated as the section leader..... cant see again.... hmmm.... our theme was underwater world.... can tell?? i love the starfish.... and the sea shell.... i can never forget RUNNING wif the damn Tuba.... which is the BIGGEST brass instrument btw.... hur... running wif that thing is no easy feat...









Year 2006!!!!our beloved juniors.... performed an amazing show.... seriously i cant believe this video was recorded thru hp... SO MUCH DIFFERENCE meh... the first two videos were recorded by REAL CAMCORDER leh... wa lao....

Bored studying in school..

The wonders of k800i...

last few days i've been subconsciously thinking of my bday wish list... and i realised i've got nothing much that i want.... those i want i cant afford......... things like car, mp3 player, new canon camera, pink psp... and the list goes on.... so unrealistic.... all gadgets... hur... im the gadget queen....

im thinking issit too early to put a bday wish list here now..... haizZZz..... 21............ THE age, THE number..... wo lao le.......... i see those 'gin nas' walking along the streets i feel so damn old.... i was once like them so carefree, look so nice in uniform (which i didn't think was nice then), feel so proud coming to sch late, shirt tucked out, and then to panic when i see the twin towers.... i'd thought those days were tough, with never ending assignments and tests..... with the stress of A levels always hovering over u..... hur, i thought wrong.... THIS is tough, THIS is stressful, and THIS is meaningless. so stupid. i need a time machine. and slowly relish those moments, cherish every minutes spent in sch with frens. even seeing miss lum's plump face i might still feel happy. happier than now at least.

i wonder who invented prata.......... so damn sinful but yet so wonderfully delicious...... bloody craving ah......... arghhhh..... sian sian sian..... always blog about not studying not studying enough,or even if studied also dono what i studying....cant wait for saturday, when im promised a half-day of fun, love, movie, great dinner. AFTER studying. ARGH!

PMS. pms pms pms. fuck exams. fuck fuck fuck. angry. ANGRY.

have u ever felt like this: after a whole day of studying, u stand up and pack ur bag, as u're packing, u try to recall everything that u've studied (or at least part of it) and realised by the time u've fnished packing up... u still cant recall anything...... point is, u've juz FINISHED studying, why do u feel like u've not studied at all? my brain feel so empty im sure if i knock it hard it'll produce a hollow thud.

is my memory that bad? have i wasted the whole damn day?

u have no idea how much i wanna go overseas............ argh.

bloody pissed at my lack of discipline........... i might juz die under the pressure.......... or the LACK OF..... *groans*

on a lighter note, Oakley specs tml!!! JB JB JB!! gotta dig out the money my dad gave me for the specs a long long time ago..... hur, spent most of it already.... so im digging out my own money.... poor.

started the day all geared up for a full day of studying.... to be pleasantly surprised by a sweet msg which spurred me to study even harder..... and to end on a bitter note.... not very pleased with his mood swings at times.... didn't feel very accomplished after a whole day of studying..... all in all, not a very good day.... had a good start though.... tml will be another long long day..... haiz..

apparently nothing can penetrate thru my thick head..... tried studying at JE library today... tried.... couldn't understand half of what i was reading..... Financial Intermediation is NOT THE SUBJECT to take..... omg... spent 3hrs trying to figure out ONE topic... ONE leh....i've got 15 topics leh!!!! 45hrs?!! *faints* it's either the difficulty of this damn subject, or it's my denseness....... argh argh!!! it's less than a mth to exams!! and im still trying to FIGURE OUT the lecture notes when others are already working thru textbooks and exam questions!!!! panic panic panic panic panic.....

im so pissed off at my suay-ness......... ARGHHH..... wanted to book the chalet at HomeTeam NS at CDANS for my 21st bday 19th may on a saturday.... BUT BUT BUT!!!!... it's all fully booked!!! so how?! now i can only book for 18th may, a FRIDAY.... everyone has to work and everything leh.... so afraid they cant make it.... and those army boys friday dono can book out or not leh... how ah..... sibeh sian.... and 18th may, my bf can only come down after work.... then who's going to help me with the decor of the chalet, who's going to help me with the bbq to raise fire and everything,who can help me arrange chairs.. blah blah blah.... all the guys' work....pui. pui. pui. grrrrrrrrr

was quite pleasantly surprised at my Audit prelims results..... i got 55.... i think it quite a good attempt ( at least to me), it was a second lower class of honours...considering i only studied for 3 chapters and only for a couple of hours before exams..... i juz realised im those sort who can only work well under extreme kinda pressures, and produce good results.....but im often so laid back i get "stucked in a rut" like the test results said and get stucked in a bottomless pit, never to resurface till the nick of time.... i.e till a few days before exams. hur. which is so bloody too late. this time around it juz happened i chose the right chapters to study.. EXACTLY all 3 chapters came out which saved my ass.... point is, i failed my maths AGAIN, seriously pissed off, got the same results as uol last year when i failed the 1st time round.. the evil number 26. argh. (btw passing marks is 34 for all subjects) i cant do maths for NUTS.

my friend who collected my audit prelims paper for me was like so full of envy, "eh carine u know u're very clever?" this came so unexpectedly frm her.... it made me swell headed for a moment.... so many ppl have commented that to me before... but they dont know how fucking lazy i am... fucking lazy is such an understatement..... i dont know what else can describe me... indolent perhaps.... argh...... point is, i only get lucky once in awhile..... well i hope the luck stays with me till my exams end in june....hope it sticks to me like a sticker...... i need all the luck i can get for the REAL THING..... not for prelims.... i dont give a damn for prelims....

got to attend yet another wedding dinner tml..... dono what to wear............... arggghhhh...... i should have studied today.... should have should have...... i dont know what the fuck is wrong with me.... i juz simply cant bring myself to get down to work......... unlike last year when i started revising right after prelims..... im so pissed at myself....... and i cant stop thinking about my 21st............grrrr........

everytime i try to settle down and lay the books infront of me, my eyelids will start to fall shut..... vision will become blur.... head becomes heavy.... but everytime i lay on my bed....... the tugging feeling nags at me..... "i havent studied today" does this happen to u guys too?

technology can kill you...... hur.........comp was down the day before..... and computer man came and found some problem with the software... my mum insisted on buying the norton internet security 2007..... and the total bill came up to 210bucks..... and TODAY, my stupid modem got struck by lightning, (how fortunate, it's like one in a million chances), and i had to buy a new modem.... and the comp man had to come again..... fixing up the new modem for me.... and today it cost 120bucks.......this stupid comp always giving me hell lot of problems.... arghhhhh.. i need a new comp..... well the comp man was surprised at my depth of knowledge of computers..... *proud of myself* hur, bu yao lian...

well, i know how to check the ip address of the comp, the default and the non default.....sounds easy but i dont think many ppl know leh.... type cmd in the run program.... and type ipconfig.... i also know how to check if the modem's having problem..... same, juz type cmd in the run program, and type ping 165.21.100.88, if it says request timed out, tat means something wrong with modem..... he asked me to do both of them and when i told him i already did, he was juz stunned.... "u did?!" i told him i juz dont know why the modem juz got spoilt suddenly.... he said might be lightning.... sian.........

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

oh my god, this is so damn true ah! amazed.....

belated pics from 406 outing last last sunday.... heh... so long ago...

spot us~! candy for ur portrait.... we got free lollipop for our pics....

to all students... sigh...

Pearls of wisdom threw to us we failed to catch,

as the examination draws near,

under the pressure of it we shall crack.

i am such a bad student.... bad bad bad student.... i should really really really be studying now since i've got to study for 5 subjects and my exam's starting in MAY, and all these are not easy subjects, mind u, accounting and auditing subjects, worst is when u have some subjects where u dont even have a bloody CLUE to what issit entirely about.... im so screwed.....

there's this constant tugging feeling, like something tugging at ur sleeves, reminding u that u've got something to do.... and this feeling's getting more and more prominent as May looms ahead.... but u juz keep ignoring this damn feeling everyday till u get home.... "i'll do it after a nap".... still no work done after a nap.... "i'll do it after dinner", dinner came and went, still, no work done.... "oh i'll do it after practicing piano", and after piano, "too tired to study now, let me rest and surf around the net" and i've been online since then..... all the way from 3pm till now, still no work done... *slaps forehead in despair* someone help me...............

today is such a ku ku day for me.............. kuku.... stupid day.... that stupid computer repairman totally wasted my whole damn day...... he's the LATE KING man.... appointment was at 2 and he came at 3.15.... nvm, repair the stupid comp for 3 damn hrs... WAH LAO!!! i could have studied, took a nap or watever... if i'd taken the time to take a nap i wouldn't be feeling so lethargic now and i'd have had energy to at least TRY STUDYING at night rite.... i cant take the nap while he's repairing cos i have to constantly give him my comp password.... answer his questions when he asked....and it's juz so rude to fall asleep when he's repairing ur comp in ur room.... i dont know, i juz think it's wrong... haizzzz............... complete waste of my time.... best thing is, i've got class from 10-5 tml... GREAT. ARGH!!!

Hey friends! i've got a good lobang for all.... just join this and u'll earn money for the more people u refer to....and also for the ppl they refer to.... so the ball juz keeps rolling..... just start frm me as your referal and subsequently refer ur other frens to this website.... well i think it's a not bad idea, no harm trying.... no costs needed AT ALL, just sign up.... it works like youtube when youtube started with them paying ppl to download their premium videos...
my personal automatic referral link is

www.agloco.com/r/BBDC6211

what will u do when the "fuzzy warm feeling" dont appear anymore whenever u and ur bf meet? i yearn for that feeling again. but once it's gone, it's gone. it'll never come back.

i dont think i need him anymore................... i can live without him....... with/without him doesnt make much of a difference..... i dont have anything to talk about with him anymore.... nothing........ he doesnt want to go out during wkends, he doesnt want to talk when he sees me, his eye contact doesnt even linger on me for more than 1 second......so why the fuck am i still with him? i dont know. yep, we're both losing interest.... im losing interest in him too........ im beginning to think whether this was a huge mistake after all.... this IS a huge mistake, this IS a complete waste of my time, my youth. i dont need to pay my youth for such a person like him. who doesnt like to have fun, who thinks fun=staying at home play video games. i dont need such a person. i dont want such a person. why the fuck am i such a loser? why? someone tell me. i let so many damn ppl manipulate me, toying around with my feelings all my damn life. why the fuck did i let them do that in the first place? I DONT BLOODY KNOW.

FUCKING STALE LIFE, FUCKING NO LIFE TO BEGIN WITH. FUCK MY LIFE, FUCK ALL THOSE WHO MISTREATED ME ALL MY LIFE. FUCK SCHOOL, FUCK YOU! I DONT NEED ALL THESE RUBBISH IN MY LIFE.

then end it.

ever felt like ending ur life once and for all? bring all the miseries to an end. feel what it's like to go to heaven, or hell. ever thought of who will go for ur funeral? will they remember u forever? visit u at the temple orwherever ur ash's placed at, during ur death anniversaries and ur bdays? ever thought of who u want to assign to maintain ur friendster? a fren's fren died, and her friendster's being kept all along by her friend. telling others where to "visit" her. and every month or so, she'll still receive testimonials telling her how much they miss her. and on her birthdays, everyone will tell her that they've juz gone to visit her. "it's been a month since u've died, and u're still sorely missed. im sorry i couldn't save u, i saw u die." something like that. sad isn't it? nope, think it another way. she's gone to see the lord.

just a passing thought.

didn't take much pictures at the wedding.... firstly cos my bf was super uncooperative, i wanted him to ask his sis to take pics with us, but he simply refused... juz kept saying "u go ask ah then u go ask ah, ask me for what" (cb!!) nvm, secondly, the stupid photographer super uncooperative too.... didnt even ask the family members to take pictures... juz stood around waiting to be prompted... STUPID RITE.. pay him so much for wat?!!! so missed out alot alot of chances to take pictures...grrrrrrr....

tml's bf's sis wedding, like, FINALLY. what the hell......... i dont really like my dress.... how?? was chosen on impulse cos my bf and his mum was like so bu nai fan....... bf din even give comment, din even say nice or even not nice........... damn fucking pissed........ juz say "buy lah buy lah buy lah" and i know why the hell he kept saying tat, so he dont need to go choose wif me on another day, dont need to walk a few more shops............. if he hadnt been so impatient i might have found a much nicer dress........ so many more choices at far east......... but NOOOOooooooo i bought mine at Tampines mall.... ARGH. ARGH. TOO LATE.

u dont know how much i hate relatives............ whoever's relative. i hate hate hate....... all they know is criticise criticise criticise, compare compare compare. criticise looks, outfit, figure. compare schools, whose children's universities better than others, whose children's results better. really damn. bloody. pissing off. "oh u grew thinner, oh u grew fatter, u wear like that nicer, ur hair last time longer nicer." wah lan eh. and out of respect (and cos u really dont have anything else to say) u juz got to nod ur head, or juz reply "ya ya ya" even if they say u grew fatter, u still gotta nod ur head, say ya ya ya. wah wah wah, cant stand it.......... omg. tml shall be another round of criticising....... or maybe later tonight when i go his hse........ his relatives all there...... during cny also same thing, all my relatives asked about my sch, my results, wat course i taking, why i 减肥. WHAT WHY?!!??!! cos i fat then i want to lose weight ah!! what why?!!! they always ask the most ridiculous questions leh. why i wanna lose weight. wah, how u expect me to answer. they cruelly wants me to say "oh cos last time i fat ma, so i wanna lose weight lor".

the worst worst worst kinda of question i've heard was "why u wanna go study private university, WHY". fuck ah. what why, obviously rite. u juz want me to tell u straight in ur face im not gd enuff for local universities (like ur child), cos my results were bad. or what. WHAT WHY?! Who in the world CHOOSES to go private universities if they are capable enuff to go local uni. argh. i dont know ah. weird aunties. i dont hate relatives, i correct myself, i hate aunties. only aunties ask these kinda stupid questions. u know what? i'll NEVER be like them. and my mum will never be like them too. i've nvr heard her asking ANYONE, any of my cousins all these kinda of questions before.

i guess it's in the genes.... that women in my family cant cook for NUTS...... yesterday was the first time i tried cooking at home...... i cooked campbell soup, egg and mushroom, chilli minced meat and fried noodles........... well of cos the can soup went well..... but the fried noodles................... hur, i dropped the whole damn plate of noodles (not fried yet, juz cooked and dried) onto the floor.......... made the whole floor damn oily and everything... and my mum had to mop the floor.... nvm, i scooped the noodles all up and washed it and reheated it..... my little bro saw and later tat evening he din touch the noodles....... NEVERMIND, later when i cooked the egg...... *clang* dropped onto the floor AGAIN, right after cooking and everything.......... FUCK. this time i had to recook it........ so i used up 10 eggs... shiok..........

as for the fried noodles..... i overestimated and cooked for portions of 6 when there was only 4 of us, 3 adult and 1 kid............. so of cos the seasoning was for 4 person.... so it looked seriously bland in the wok.... but due to the quick thinking of the bf who managed to turn up juz in time, he quickly added tomato sauce and alot more other seasoning and helped to stir fry the BIG WOK of noodles..... couldnt have done it without him, :P no strength to stir the noodles leh, such a huge pile.....

as for the minced meat, i thought i did quite well...... and it was also, for a portion of i think at least 6 ppl... hahhaa... so there was lots of leftovers.... and we left it for my dad to eat.... i forced him to finish up everything, which he did... but said they tasted AWFUL.... u knw, u cant ask a cook to taste ur food, confirm say not nice.... i thought the minced meat was nice.................... hmmmm.... the minced meat would have tasted nicer with plain rice lor.... but too bad my hse dont even have a rice cooker...... i was quite surprised to even find the big wok at my hse..... but later learned tat my mum won it from lucky draw during her tupperware parties............. damn.

Twins and Boyz

Twins and Boyz 死性不改




又見了我的寵愛　誰願接受這種意外

你讚我天生可愛　不願看著我離開



同伴也話我傻　喜歡受挫

寧願情敵再傷我




人天生根本都不可以愛死身邊的一個

怎奈你最夠刺激我　凡事也治倒我

幾多黑心的教唆　我亦捱得過

來煽風　來點火　就擊倒我麼



誰戀愛就多障礙　死性我不想改

如我沒有你的愛　我沒法活得來

情人的存在　是我從來都志在

難在我拱手讓愛 我怕可一不可再　



難道你被愛都有害 我確信天真不會錯　

威力會移山填海

carine 好介绍

oh yah btw..... i think 5/4 mths ago i was 58kg ok! then cos i was constantly drinking one of the products (Fibreplus, helps constipation, flushes out toxins) my weight suddenly dropped to 56kg and sort of maintained till now..... still fat ah..... but my body cant lose weight easily leh........ another fren tried the same weight management programme she lost 5kg... DAMN! lucky her!!! argh........ the highest record was 7kg in 5 days.... but tat was cos the guy who drank it was like 98kg..... fatter ppl lose weight faster..... CONFIRM....my bf lost 5kg in 1.5mths too.... and he din exercise NOTHING, juz ate less ABIT every meals.... lucky him....

let me describe the programme for anyone interested lah:

there are 5 boxes in the programme, 1 box for each day. 1 box contains 12 satchets of supplements (to be mixed with water), all drinking stuff nothing solid. it's TOTALLY ORGANIC even children/pregnant ladies can drink, SWEAR, no chemicals nothing, not like medicine, note: SUPPLEMENT......

so u juz follow the consumption programme all planned out for u, printed on the back of each box

eg:

rise and shine: 1 satchet (Fibreplus: to gently remove toxic impurities while energising the colon, i.e help u shit, prevent constipation, u get the drift)

breakfast: 3 satchets aka mixed with 3 cups of warm water

lunch: 3 satchets

tea: 2 satchets

dinner: 2 satchets

before sleep: Fibre plus again to help u bang sai in the morning

anyway when i say 3 satchets, it means 3 diff products, one for energising and rejuvenating cos u'll feel tired when u lose weight; one for preventing u to take in carbo,sugar,fats and increasing metabolism; another to provide additional nutrients for ur body while ur body lose weight.....

sounds nice right......... juz by drinking 12 satchets everyday u'd have already felt damn full....so dont even need to eat! juz drink the thing when u feel hungry.... on top of tat still need to drink lots of water to flush the toxins out.... so juz drink drink drink!.... but dono why i lose weight so slowly! something's wrong wif me!! alot of toxins in my body!!! my fren said it's because im constantly eating unhealthy food outside tat's why.... i think so too..... haiz........ cos she's those kind who eats home nearly everyday... and she lost 5kg...... *ARGH! envious*

anyone interested juz call me....note: i dont earn $$$ from this, i dont even earn anything sum pa...i juz think it' damn good cos i think it's a sort of guaranteed 2kg loss, 'cos im a living example, everyday eat outside so unhealthy still can lose 2 kg...carine 好介绍

i remembered long long long time ago i wanted to buy Zando or Xtrim watever u call tat... but i read the ingredients and saw alot of chemicals all tat... and another thing was cos too ex also.... remember lynn? we wanted to share the 3box package and divide cost??