yep, we went all the way to suntec to buy macdonald breakfast...... cos we couldn't find the one near the stadium...... dammit.....i think the 3 of us walked 5km tat day........ walked round and round and round the national stadium for dono how long.........

<br>


hahah i love this photo.......... super cute! especially my hello kitty umbrella, the cutest!

this was how we chopped seats for i think around a thousand students......... plenty of nylon strings and tape did the trick....

all of us starting to look quite cui already........ look at our tired eyes.......

hmmmm...... last sat when me, yanwen and lizhen reserved seats for the bpians at 6am in the morning.... the 3 of us chatted for many many hours during the wait for the competition.... we all knew it was the last performance at national stadium.... we all knew national stadium would be gone, soon..... so we took hell lots of pictures........ we chatted hell lot too...... we chatted on soooo many mature topics......... talked about marriage, talked about boys, talked about horoscopes, talked about our lives......... it was a very enlightening long long long chat....... we were all three very different individuals altogether..... VERY different.... but the way we talked, it seemed as if we knew each other forever....... it was something i'll cherish...... the bonds i have with alot of ppl...... the things i can share with many ppl..... my encounters, my experiences......... btw i was ranked "the most entertaining" person i think, on facebook among all my frens..... which really made my day.... i like to be entertaining, i like it when ppl laugh at my jokes, my encounters, i love it when ppl find me interesting to be with.... i like to be the blur one, entertaining ppl with my blurness..... i mean, i'm really (always) slow in catching some of the jokes ppl say, but seriously i dont care lah.... different frequency different frequency lor.... as long as i can make ppl laugh.....

but despite popular beliefs, i do have some down periods too.... just tat i think only my bf can see those down periods of mine......... only for the privileged, hahah.... not everyone can see one ok....



SIBEH SIAN LAH, i'm doing EVERY SINGLE THING BUT SLEEP, and STUDY. MOODY. moody. little miss moody. i cant bloody sleep. and i've got class at 8.30am later. pui.



anyway, some random photos i ka-poed from lizhen's blog..... hahah which she has forgotten to send me i guess.....

6plus am at National Stadium

the 3 heroines that day, yanwen, me and lizhen.

our wonderful bp supporters

Our forever forceful and graceful BP band 2008

wonderfully colourful Bp supporters....

There were some other photos we took during the long long wait........ some cock photos which i think lizhen thought was too funny to put up.... hahaha.... the 3 aunties holding umbrellas sitting at the seats, avoiding the sun...... seriously, the sun is really bad for the skin k........... no one could have ever believed that we were from Military bands.......... hahahha....afraid of even the sun................ hahahahha haizzzzzzzzzz.............

i suddenly knew why BP band didn't make it for gold...... suddenly knew why the rest of the Big Threes got gold.........it might be one of the few main reasons..... i suddenly realised this after watching the band videos at youtube........... it's the Auxillary Percussion and the choreography of the music, they followed the symphonic band style, climax, anticlimax, soft, climax again......... Bowen, Tk and Deyi all had one thing in common, they had FANTABULOUSLY LOUD Auxillary percussion......and they placed alot of emphasis on AP (those ppl standing infront on the track) these time round.... those AP instruments they used are LOUD/ECHO-ing STEEL and pedalled xylophones to magnify the sound, steel xylophones can even have the effects of making the music ALOT MORE rounder, full, and can even cover it up when the band gets out of breath, can create climax, AND create mellow sounds ALL AT THE SAME TIME........ and the ones that we're/BP's using are WOODEN ones....... they're alot SOFTER and mellower in comparison......... Gosh...........and bowen had very loud drummers for AP........ haiz..... anyway, our show lacked the climax i think... quite monotonous... Deyi was really fantastic, no doubt about it..... but we were still really very good, just wasn't good enough..... seriously dont know what Deyi and Tk band did to their instruments or what, it's like they "opened pipe" for their instruments (zng-ed their instruments or something) like so loud and round!


but fuck, i really dont understand why we couldn't have gotten a gold, really like wtf... i tot we were alot better than 2 years ago, MUCH BETTER THAN Y smth smth school, ccb, putting us down to their standard really makes my blood boil................ REALLY DAMN PEK CEK LAH, i dont know why but this band competition thingy affected me so much! ARGH! mooodyyyyy...........

BUT why did TK didn't get best band this year? listen to their AP, they messed their solo up.......... anyway, Deyi's choice of music were like so powerful ah........ their opening was like so fairyland, dream-like (by the SUPERB xylophones or watever u all them lah)... then SUDDENLY CLIMAX, then soften down, and then CLIMAXED again........ all in all a really superb and rounded show........

anyway, who cares........ it's all over........... just some things that's been going through my mine these days....... i kept thinking, i dont know why.... this question just kept repeating and repeating in my mind "Why did we not get gold, WHY did B_wen get gold when it was so SHITTY, WHY didnt we get gold?! " why. cos b_wen's AP was darn good, that's why. although their main band sucked, and they actually SANG, during band comp. god. anyway, here's the videos..... the only consolation was, DEYI WON BEST BAND AND TK screwed up, hur. finally, it's tk's time to CRY, (in disappointment) this time round. when deyi won, all the bt exmembers cheered like fuck.

Deyi:




and BP band:







TK:





Boowen:

"We were a strong band,in terms of manpower,music or marching. I remember truly feeling the aura of a great and mighty band emanating from us as we walked past our rival bands. We had the imposing presence,and I was sure that our rival bands at least feared or respected us,simply because we had it in us. But after the split,our band feels much weakened. It feels to me like our band was a person who fell from the pink of health into a state of fragility,perhaps from a sudden critical illness,and now on the path of slow but steady recovery,but losing much of the original state of vitality." -Yan Wen

this small paragraph spoke alot for me...... totally 100% agreed....

haizZZZZz.............. dont know what to say.......... we got Silver for SYF military band competition............ damn lostform ........... haizZz................. seeing the band at the national stadium brought back so much memories it overwhelmed me suddenly........... seeing the field, and knowing that it's the last time, really the very last time we're going to be marching at the national stadium field......... and we were back in Teckwhye, back at the same old muddy field at teckwhye......... i thought we could win at least a gold or something........... so many things went through my mind when we were waiting for the results, and after we've gotten the results........... seeing those dejected figures on the field, members and instructors alike, just feel like giving them a comforting pat on the back, seeing those disappointed faces, crying, sobbing faces, just makes me feel so sad......... the point is, i havent been going back to band for 6 years ever since i've graduated......... but it really seemed like i've never even left there afterall.............i haven't even been going back to help out AT ALL and i can feel so much for the band, i can feel anger, indignant, sadness, disappointment......... can you imagine those ppl who's been constantly helping out at the band, going back for band practices........... can you imagine how they'll feel? haizz........ we were sobbing at the national stadium 8 years ago, 8 years have passed, and we are still sobbing at the same field............ how can those bloody judges be so blind, i really cannot understand.......... so many flashes of memories back in my mind........... when we were at the band room, listening to Sir giving long long talks......... after band competition, everyone sitting at the bandroom disappointed, down at the muddy fields with only the centre line and the trees as our guide........ basketball after band practices........... hide and seek at teckwhye............. we could spend the whole bloody day at teckwhye........ or at lot1 mac........... seeing those disappointed figures........really felt like going up to them, give them a comforting pat, telling them they've already done a good job............ just going up to them and talk........... just talk........... but i can't even do that, feels so awkward, feels so weird......... can't even open my mouth to talk to them.... after the band competition, when we were back at the teckwhye, i wanted to wait, wanted to be up at the bandroom with them, wanted to mix and mingle with the rest of the exmembers, but i just felt damn out of place, somewhat.... just out of place......... and so i decided to leave before the rest of them arrive........ and walked the same long way from teckwhye to the next bus stop........ the way me and yanwen always walked and chatted........ the road which brought me and yanwen to those bunch of ppl......... "hey, do you guys want to join us? we're going to kpt." they shouted across up the slope....... "what's kpt?", "kopitiam lah", "ok, we'll join u"

tomorrow's the band comp day for Bukit panjng military band, sadly, not bukit panjang and Teck whye combined military band anymore...... sigh..... and i'm going to wake up at some god forsaken hours.... at 4AM in the morning..... yes.......... THAT EARLY...... to go to the national stadium to chop seats for our school so we we'll get the best view, and most importantly, SHADE at the grand stand........ it's been a long while since i've done my part as an exmember to the band, and so, i volunteered this........... so well, other than the fact that i'll have super black eyebags tml, it'll be fun of course, snatching seats with the Tk exmembers, bitching with some frens, (or probably not, cos everyone will be so sleepy), the excitement will only come in the afternoon when we see the band all lined up and ready to go on the field, when the drum major raises the maize and "BOOM" everything starts, just like the good old days when we were down there........ it'll be like back to secondary school days when we did stupid things, i feel a tinge of regret doing this, but no choice, must put in some effort for the band..... and hopefully i'll be able to study there under the dim, MOONlight.... hur...... i'll bring whatever i need there lah, books, notes, sleeping bag? IM SERIOUS about bringing sleeping bag there ok....... i mean, at least i'll have something nice to sit on for the next god-knows-how-many hours right..........

and probably i'll have to sleep like at 8pm tonight............ i've got sleeping disorder these days, and it's getting worst-erest, i can lie on my bed for 3-4 hrs before going to sleep........... ARGH....... or probably i got to sleep at 7pm...... even so, i'll only have less than 8hrs of sleep (minus 2hrs when i toss and turn).... ARGH..... starting to regret liao lah........... BUT i hope it'll be fun.......... cos i suddenly feel young again............ hur.........but i can bet on sunday i'll feel like a 40yr old women.......

This quiz i got from Veron's blog is like so completey true........ super true, like 90percent accurate.... everyone should try it here: http://www.youniverse.com/

Some random photos from eons ago to add some colours to this dull and lifeless blog.......


Cant remember if i've put this on the blog before or not, but ya this was last year when the bf's parents went Korea and we had the whole house to our own..... so the bf made steaks for our dinner........ cool right, like those you see in western restaurants..... note the cutleries, hahahah we didn't have steak knife at home, so we used spoons......... wahahhaa.... and that thing over there is actually baked potato with cheese and butter.... yum yum....... ANYWAY, in case you're wondering if this is edible, it's actually damn nice........... boys can always cook better than girls... dont u think so? well, for me i think it's true ah....


anyway this is my crimson red NDS lite........... I just call her My Ds Lite...... i always shout at my bf "Oei! Where's My Ds Lite!@@! Play your PSP and leave her alone!"



This was just yesterday at Vivo City, (when i was supposed to be studying at some place, we went shopping instead)..............after a very heavy dinner at Hogsbreath...........................

And our Zng-ed boats! Bf's ugly black boat........... hahaha...... Transformers....Careful, might metamorphosis into a hugeass robot with a redbull logo on it.............*lame*

My Beautiful pink boat!!!!! Chio right...........everything downright to those stencils at the wings were all D.I.Y ok.......... including the colour......... and the stencil rose...... were all sprayed paint on my own........ spent HELL lot of time to do up this boat.......... and so far i've only played it like at most twice........ hahahhaa............ bo hua ah........... spent hell lot of money on these 2 boats and only played a few times...........

For the sake of proving the boat can really work on water, here's the video............. at Punggol Park......... before we changed it's colour.....

*SOBS* I wish these are mine......................... Envious man! I wish my bf can get those for me too........... but wait till the sky drop.............. anyway, these are his sis's.............. his sis's bf give one......... so nice right?!!!!

nowadays i can't even be bothered to take pictures with my digicam anymore............ haizZZzz.......... can't even be bothered to upload whatever i took............. the digicam's forever tucked inside my bag at my bf's house which i never fail to remember bringing the charger to his hse......... and bringing the damn digicam back to my hse to upload the photos............ pui............. wait till my exams are over...... i shall shop the town down, meetup with tonnes of friends, start buying office wear clothes, start packing my room, start shopping at ikea to buy a new cupboard for my overflowing room! haizZZzz..... but i need MONEY MONEY MONEY!!

it's been a long time since i last blogged....... wonder if there's anyone out there still reading this mouldy blog of mine......... bleah......... been, well, as always, busy......... with.... fiddling with my nds lite....... Crimson RED in colour....... yep, i managed to SELL away my Black nintendo ds lite and bought a red one........ wahhaha..... i managed to sell it within 4 days of usage, pro or what............ i love doing these kinda selling and buying kinda things online...... anyway, back to my ds........ been playing all sorts of games lately, and been kinda hooked to some.......... but now is really not the right time to get addicted to games cos my EXAMS ARE COMING.............. oh man.............. instead of burrowing into the mountain of books i'm getting myself lost in the endless games of nintendo....... i'm so screwed......... haizZZZZzz................

everyone's been raving on about the novel "P.S I Love You" but i've still yet to get my hands on it........ hmmmm............ now is not the time!! I always say this, and i must say it again.......... why do i always get myself tonnes and tonnes of things to do during this critical period of studying? i've got endless things to buy, endless things to do............ shit man...... i've been doing a little bit of retail therapy lately, and i've bought quite a number of satisfied buys......... but i've yet to start on my exams...................JUST CANT GET THE MOOD to get going.............. SHIT lah........ grrrrr.........

hmmmmm the bf's bday is around the corner..... and i've got absolutely no idea what to buy for him.......... i seldom buy him presents cos i'm always the very poor student............. chiong shu sheng.......... but he seems to have all the things guys should have........... i've bought him the braun buffel key pouch and perfume last year....... dono what to buy for him this year.......... he's got a braun buffel wallet....... still quite new and presentable compared to mine...... ive also bought him the liverpool jersey he wants........ he also just bought himself some branded polo tees, which i want also but he didn't buy for me........heh........ so what else does he need???! i wanna buy him a watch........ but his current watch is like so so so "high class", the watch i buy for him will look absolutely stupid beside it........ i really want to buy a watch for him......... but it's really very pricey...... the one i wanna buy is so damn nce........ but soooooo ex to me....... like $360 after discount i think.......... ellesse watch, the Jay chou advertise one........ damn nice leh......... but i only have like $120 budget, how to buy?! knn..... unless my mum tio 4D tonight then ask her share the present with me ah........ hahahhahaha.......... DREAM ON.

Bf just bought me a nintendo ds lite........... ABSOLUTELY not the colour i want.......... but it'll do............ cos he also wanna play......... no choice lor....... he doesn't want to lay his hands on a baby pink set......... ARGH..... nvm........ i can do other things to it........ hehehhe...... like putting on bling blings on it....... oops.........

but but but i'm so absolutely pissed...... just after a few days of using...........the frigging touch screen got SCRATCHED. fucking hell. scratched. scratched. can u imagine, just after a few days?!!! the stupid stylus is so not sensitive, and caused the damn scratch.... either the frigging stylus or the frigging touch screen, watever the case is, i'm going to force them to exchange a new set for me.............. or repair it or something...... like fucking helling suay.......... pissed............ it's their fault right?! that the stupid stylus has the stupid problem!i dont understand how can things like that happen SO SOON..... what will my ds lite become if i use it longer?! become scratched like fuck ah. i dont like my things to be scratched, or faulty or watever, i like them to be as good as new!!!! (duh, like who doesnt) but i'm going to make sure/ try the best i can to argue with the warranty company to do something for me at the very least........ but i've called and they seem unwilling to do anything about it since it's a "cosmetic" case as they see it. ccb. it's not like i dropped the damn thing and caused a crack or something. it's the frigging ORIGINAL stylus scratched the frigging ORIGINAL screen.

angry angry angry.

oh my god, i can't believe these Teacup Yorkie puppies are for free adoption!!! GOSH!! i want!! so damn frigging cute!!!!! shit.... i wanna ask my mum to let me adopt!!

if you guys are interested go to this website: http://shops.st701.com/shops/view/21782?from=%2Fshops%2Fresults%3Fsearch_text%3Dpuppies

i'm not sure if i'm ready to raise a puppy.......... haizZZZ... takes alot of work u know........

Things i really really wanna buy now...

Things i wanna buy now:

HTC Touch cruise......... pda phone, $798 with 1 gb memory card....... i'm SO SO SO into PDA phones........... too bad my stupid O2 mini died on me....... ARGH....

BOUGHT! not baby pink though......

i'm so into BABY PINK and touch screens nowadays............... but where to find the $$$$ to buy?!!

AND THIS RABBIT IS SO CUDDLY CUTE!! saw this on some forum thingy, somebody selling this Netherland dwarf pure breed rabbit for only $200 frigging dollars!! website: http://www.sgclub.com/singapore/selling_pure_breed_51774.html

Disappointed.

So so so disappointed, I wanted that bag so so so much. so much. Imagine the disappointment when you really wanted something, really thought you would get it, but dont have it in the end. It's really very disappointing. just so disappointing. Feel like i've lost something cos i love the bag so much.

chinese new year was OK only..... CNY's supposed to be my favourite festive season of the year.......... one which i sincerely cherish, one when i can meet friends and relatives and gather at someone's place an have hell lots of fun.............. and it's over so soon........ sigh................ and soon, my prelims will be next................. and soon, my final year exams................ and soon, my 22nd bday (in the middle of everyone's exams), and soon, i'll have to start working.................. ARGHHHHhhhhhhhhh...... how i really wish i can go overseas RIGHT NOW......... even malaysia will be good........ haizZZzz......

super gian mahjong and blackjack now.............. i really have no mood to study for the prelims.... how??!! oh yah, did i mention, we went for a movie marathon on chu san? cos the whole world was overseas and we had no place to go...... we watched kung fu dunk and ah long private limited.... which was superrrrrrrrr funny, apart from the corny storyline....... but half of it i didn't understand as it was in Cantonese, so i was reading the subtitles most of the time......... i bet if i can understand Cantonese it'll be 10times funnier......

anyway, Valentine's day dinner was at Amici Italian Restaurant at Holland village........ which cost my bf a bomb......... no flowers no presents as usual, like it's been for the past 5 years........ which i really dont mind this year, cos if there's gift exchange, it'll mean i have to buy something for him also......i'm damn broke....... heh....... the ONLY, one and ONLY time i received flowers from him was our 1st year anniversary i guess........ which i really dont wanna mention the "coolness" of the process of him presenting those flowers to me (at his HOUSE!!!)......... and i think the next time i'll receive flowers from him might be our wedding liao lah...... haizzZZZ....... everytime i ask him to buy flowers, the only thing he'll say is "u wait lor", "
等久久".......... he can bring me to the most expensive restaurant to eat, but he'll never buy flowers for me, or even shop for present for me on his own....... the only way he'll buy present for me will be when i ask him to, if i ask on the spot, he sure buy, if i dont ask or dont tell him SPECIFICALLY what i want, he wont even think of buying anything..... and SO, the only thing we do together, really enjoy together, is EAT............ i often ask him, "why you always dont wanna buy things for me one ah", he always say "
养你吃都 cannot tahan liao, 你比平常人吃得多" .......... '_'

My To buy list seems to grow longer by the minute but i've got no idea how to fulfil all my needs when i've got no money.... fuck............ really feel so shit..... i need some calorie limit capsules to bloody limit my food intake during this festive season.... i need a new blusher, i need hair treatment for my bloody just-dyed-super-dry-hair................ anyway, talking about my dyed hair......... haizZZZZ............. i felt so cheated..... the hair cut was nice, i really like it.... but as usual, i got cajoled into highlighting my hair in less than 3 minutes.... the hair stylist must have felt very proud of herself, to persuade me to dye my hair so fast............. and the highlighting and hair cut cost me $130 bucks............... which is VERY expensive.......... compared to if i just dye at some neighbourhood salons...... for tat price i think i can dye my WHOLE hair plus highlight plus treatment plus cut.............shit.......... got scolded by the bf for being so stupid to dye hair at those kinda salons.......... can cut hair at those kind of higher-end salons, but dyeing hair is a serious mistake.... and now my hair is like a pile of dried hay........... shit.......... really need to do treatment...... did i mention i went back to the salon AGAIN to touch up my hair? cos the first time was SO NOT OBVIOUS my mum and bf and some friends screamed at me to go back to the Salon to touch up....... i always kena this kinda thing don't ask me why..... dye-ing hair at this place is so not worth the money....... though really, the hair cutting is perfectly fine......

i dont even wanna bring myself to think about the coming exams and prelims.... the only thing i'm looking forward now is CNY...... my ONLY motivation........... but when it's over, it's really over..... i might be so depressed after the hols i might just die of stress..... i'm a super stress-free person, but this year i dont know why i can feel the stress of studies constantly all the time..... feel so shit...................... ARGH!

i know sometimes maintaining relationships are hard, but i didn't know it would be THIS HARD.

i feel so tired with every single breath that i take, short haggard breaths. so tired. so so so tired. everytime he does that, my heart just aches. everytime he does that, my heart just wounds. everytime it's over, the protective layer around my heart just gets thicker, in a faint effort to prevent it from hurting anymore. but it still hurts. maybe someday, it wont hurt anymore. maybe someday, the protective layer around it will build up so thick, so so thick, it wont hurt anymore. it wont even feel anything anymore. everything done unto it will not be felt, will not be taken into heart, will not love, will not feel, will not care, anymore. i feel so drained. drained of any energy. i feel pain, i feel everything. how i wish i will not feel anymore.

haizz...................... been so so so so so busy...... ya i'm busy everyday k, i've got no hols to enjoy..... except for those long long weekends when public holidays falls on Tuesdays.........miss those wkends.... wkends mostly either spent on going chalets, or boat-ing with the bf and gang at punggol park, or bowling, or late night suppers, or JB blah blah blah.......... and the list goes on and never ends........... the problem with such entertainments, one big major problem: deficiting of the moolahs real real real fast.......... not like i dont like such gatherings, or entertainments or whatever u call these never-ending-hanging-outs..... it's so fun, but but but!!!! no money how to have fun?!!!

sometimes, i just feel like staying at home ALL DAY, and doing NOTHING... it'll be a complete satisfaction, a complete rest for me physically and mentally..... shall be resting my brains this thursday doing NOTHING k.......... hey, tat's the ONLY day so far that i've got no school, no tuition, nothing. i need that kinda rest. need. desperate to want to stay home. desperate to open up my skull and take out my brains and lay it to rest on my softy pillow doing nothing, encase it in a glass box or something. i am that tired. really.

oh yah, i've taken up a new hobby (expensive one though)..... modifying boats and playing remote controlled boats at punggol park.... cost my bf a bomb, he paid for everything..... including my materials to transform my white boat into a pink one.... hahaha..... yep, we sprayed paint our boats, did some stencils on the boat and pasted some stickers...... our boats look completely different now.... and damn pretty! will put up the pics some day..... NO TIME LAH....

so dead tired now, just got back from lessons.......... had lessons this morning too, from 8.30-11.30am, and went for lessons at 7pm-10pm...... make up lesson for thurs, if not thurs i can never never be free.... haiz....... brain dead.............

There are bound to be some ups and downs in any relationship........... my advice: just tolerate and it'll be over.

another piece of advice: tolerate till you hit the bottleneck, dont need to tolerate anymore, let it explode.

Dont know what's up with the bf these days, or with most of the bfs of my friends these days........... what's up with the sudden change of attidude, the rudeness, the blatantness, the un-caringness, and the un-gentleness........something's wrong, but u cant figure out what.... they just tell you "it;s nothing it's nothing it's nothing", but obviously there's SOMETHING.... something is definitely wrong. there seems to be nothing wrong with the relationship on the whole, or on the appearance.... but something seems to be wrong from the inside..... the tone of that voice, the volume of that voice, the lack of some warmth, lack of some love, lack of some gentleness pisses me off somewhat..... yet there's nothing wrong?

sometimes he can be soo soo soo sweet as a candy but sometimes he's just as sour as a lemon which makes me quinch.

bad bad mood.

been very very very busy these days, which sort of irritates me a little.....i dont like to be busy..... it just sucks the life and money out of me..... but well, at least it was worth it..... the christmas gathering with my classmates turned out to be a blast at Arena country club (nice place to have a gathering!) the room was HUGE, with ktv set with all the newest songs, mahjong table, a KING SIZE bed, many many couches and sofas and what not............ shiok....... it was just hilarious singing with the kbox queen Yvonne.......... and learning sexy dance from the dancing queen Huiyee.... and not to forget mahjong-ing with the mahjong queen Jiehui.....

the gift giving ceremony was fun and exciting too! We din know who was our "angels" who bought us gift, and so there i was waiting excitedly for my gift from the unknown angel, and turned out my angel was HUIYEE!! yippee!! The moment i saw her step out to present me with the present, i was so happy "good good!! this is one girl who knows me damn well!!" and true enough, she presented me a prettily decorated pink file which made me felt like studying at once.....i was so in love with the file once i set my eyes on it, and i think i forgot all about thanking huiyee... till now i still can't remember if i thanked her or not.... hahhhaa, i was too engrossed in gaping at the pretty file..... heh....

anyway, all in all, a nite i'll never forget.......

there's another chalet tomorrow.... *sighs*.......... show me the moolahs.........

Give me a hole to hide.... bury myself in.....

This has got to be one of the poorest month.............. i'm like almost penniless.. like FUCKING FUCKING SUPER POOR!! GOD HELP ME!! someone, help me!! no tuition income, no nothing.... arghhhhhhh.......... fuck lah, suckiest month in my life.....

procrastinating m.e

looking forward to Christmas and not looking forward to it all at the same time.... how mao dun is that........ u know, there's always these constant thoughts that go against each other in your mind and it really pisses the hell out of me....you have these conflicting thoughts that keeps going on and on and on.......... should i do this, should i not..... should i try this, or should i not..... these stupid thoughts can really make me insane....... i'm looking foward to Christmas, cos it's gift exchanging time, time for joy, fun, lights, town, play......... but once Christmas is over.......... i'll have NOTHING to look forward to anymore.... and starting of next year, i'll really.have.to.STUDY. which is so damn dreadful.......... this year's subjects that i'm taking, are so damn frigging DIFFICULT and dreadful...... MATHEMATICS in almost all the modules i'm taking.......... oh my my my....... how am i going to cope?!!!! Official exams are in MAY (again, shit, during my bday period), and the nxt.best.thing is that my PIANO EXAMS ARE ALSO IN MAY OR JUNE. i'm so not looking foward to year 2008. it'll be also the end of my career as a student, and the start of my doom, (start of my doom, sounds so, wrong.) in the working life. haiz haiz haiz......................................... these days, i'm so not looking forward to everything, i dont know why.... i'd rather spend the whole day with the bf at home..... or spend some quality time for myself in my room..... or do some reading...... read anything except my textbooks, do anything but practise the piano.... i'm so S.H.I.T

LUCKY ME!! Me and my bf just won ourselves return tickets for 2 to Phuket!! WOOHOO!! We won it at Cineleisure, some Jetstar promotions.... whereby you spend $20 at Cineleisure for a chance to win.... We must have been damn lucky to have won ah.... there was this board with many many holes of different countries for you to shoot your paper plane (our plane was like shit, cos the bf folded it) into...... and we were given just 2 chances to try... I tried the first chance, and my paper plane went way out of target, not even touching the board hahahah.... and my bf shot the 2nd time, and it went through the Phuket hole!! yippee!! i almost squealed in joy, so happy and proud of the bf ah.... i mean, he only threw ONCE and it got in... i saw another couple had 4 chances and still didn't managed to even get in any of the holes....

BUT BUT BUT..... alas, to our dismay (at tat point in time), we realised we still HAVE NOT won the tickets yet.... we just won a CHANCE TO GET INTO THE LUCKY DRAW..... really pui...... so tat means there's only a winner for that day, for so many planes that went through the holes during the 2 hour competition.... so we waited till 7pm for our the lucky draw..... AND WE WON!!! LUCKY SHIT..... but i damn damn stupid ah......... haiz...... cos when we filled up the form before the contest, we had to choose a "Dream" destination, and i ticked Taiwan...then when the plane flew into the Phuket hole, the organiser ticked Phuket.... then when the person in charged asked "so which hole did the plane get in? Taiwan or Phuket" I should have frigging said TAIWAN ah.... cos after that then i realised she didnt even know which tick was the right one!!!! i mean, it's quite unofficial and everything..... she just wrote it so generously on the piece of paper...... SHOULD HAVE TOLD her Taiwan instead... i mean as in, put it in an ambigous way ah "oh, Taiwan is my dream destination" instead of "the plane went into Phuket"...... or smth like tat.... so she might be mistaken and wrote Taiwan..... aiyah....

but anyway, i'm asking for a change of destination ah.... since they seemed to be so unofficial about it, and budget didn't seemed to bother them at all..... i'm going to ask for Macau (nope, HongKong wasn't included on the board)..........Taiwan will be too much to ask for lah.... my parents strongly disagree for me to go Phuket cos of the Tsunami thingy.....so no choice ah.... at least i tried asking right..... if cannot then no choice ah, just go Phuket lor.... but heard from my friends that the stuff in Phuket are very very expensive, too commercialised.... the watersports sounds damn fun though! Haiz.... but the bf don't like leh.....

The interview was crap lah...... went in the 1st thing they asked me to do was write an essay in 10 mins...... SIAN..... essay part was OK for me..... BUT the interview part i think was crap.... anyway, nvm, first time..... it's ok....... keep telling myself it's ok if i dont get in, which i think i wont.... seriously..... kept stuttering ah.... crap lah.... and he kept asking those sibeh open ended questions..... "tell me more about yourself" sian.....

Genting was fun fun fun and lose $$ lose $$ lose $$......... but it was the company which counted.... and the countless of casino games i've learnt.... hahaha.. jackpot is passe now, table games are in.... ANYWAY, lost SGD$600 bucks...... combined with the bf............. anyway anyway anyway, dont scold me lah, combined losses...... no choice... somebody damn suay those 3 days there... not my fault.... and as his gang of friends said "dai sai" aka sibeh suay.......

well well well, tml's the BIG day..... interview with THE company.......... THAT company.............. haiz............. nvr been to any interviews in my whole frigging life before, how to be not scared?? scared stiff! haizZZZz....... i just hope my knees won't buckle under me, just hope my hands wont tremble, just pray hard that i'll JUST GET IN......... haiz................

i can't believe i'm sick a day before i go Genting........ fuck fuck fuck.... i dont even have the strength now to frigging pack my luggage......... argghh...... so screwed...... i can't even think properly... so afraid i'll miss out something important like passport or smth.... haizz...... flu flu flu flu............

oh yah.... i watched my first ever R21 movie.... Pleasure Factory.... i didn't understand wat the whole damn movie was all about.... so all in all it sucked.... fucking draggy and dont even have storyline... FAR too abstract for me lah..... maybe u'll argue it's art, then art lor... dono lah...

my SECOND R21 movie was Lust.Caution, which was really frigging NICE AH (but my bf just tot it was "OK LAH" -_- boys) !! from the storyline, to the sex scenes, to the actors.... omg, REALLY NICE!! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED K! i was pretty amazed by the really nice/exciting/hair raising plot, apart from the really *ahem* cool sex scenes........ and it's really weird watching lee hom talk in a weird china accent... and Liang Chao Wei's is still as charismatic as ever..... oh no no no, not cos i saw his balls and butt.... but.... aiya he is just charismatic fullstop.

haven been updating.... cos nothing's happen so far, nothing bad la at least... some GOOD has finally happened to me... haiz, been just plain busy la..... and i'm going Genting (again) this friday to sunday..... Driving trip with bf and his frens.... we'll be driving to KL and Malacca.... yeah! happy to finally get out of this frigging place, even though it's just Malaysia.. HAIZ.... if only i can go Taiwan.........

last friday was one of the most horifying busy day of my entire life.... was busy alllllllll the way till 2plus am at night..... but felt accomplished and happy.... and realised, it was really worth it.... just realised it today..... Went for the so called "recruitment" drive last friday afternoon till evening...... K*** was there... like WAH, one of the Big 4 companies... we were told to bring our resumes... but non dared to give the resumes to the speakers initially.... dont know why... everyone was just standing around, talking and staring and just doing nothing.... and no one dared hand up their resumes.... so, me and my fren mustered up our courage and asked the HR manager of K*** if she would want to collect our resumes.... and to our surprise! She said YES! oh, guess why we were so surprised? cos the headhunter of K*** (another speaker) initially told my fren that they are NOT recruiting at this time of the year... like WTH... then u come for wat.....

and to our irritation, many of the "free-riders" actually finally started handing up their resumes together with us. those free riders were actually crowding around the HR waiting for someone to START to hand up, and waiting for the someone to help them hand their resumes up together. Together with US, in OUR stack. go and die. irritated.

anyway, i still can't believe my luck.... the kind HR lady, (bless her), actually really looked and flipped through our resumes and called us the following working day, which was Monday, and called me again today, to tell me i'm shortlisted for an interview next wednesday!!! WOOHOO!! i'm so so so glad ah.... you can't imagine my joy when i heard "hi i'm blah blah blah calling from K***, you are shortlisted for an interview next wednesday" wah lao............. the HR manager is really so kind ah! i actually tot for a moment that she might not be bothered with us ah..... aiyo...so so so nice of her.....

butbut but........ i've never been through any interviews before.... im so so so scared ah......... dont even know how it feels like to be interviewed by maybe 2 ppl? argh......... hopefully i'll meet another kind soul who'll inteview me and hire me straight away... i'll be grateful forever and pledge my allegience to the company for at least..... 1 year?! hahahha kidding.... we'll see how it goes lah hor......wah wah wah............. SCARED AH.....

i seem to have never-ending things to do..... everytime i finish doing something, another thing will crop up............ feel tired every single day..... drained...... fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck la. feel so fucking stressed with so many fucking things to do. never ending really never ending! just tomorrow, i have 6 places to fucking go. piano lesson in the morning, afternoon chiong for class, after class chiong meet customer, after meeting customer got to go alter my dress, after altering dress must go teach piano. fucking hell ah. really never felt so fucking FULL TO THE BRIM before, full as in my brains feel so torn and battered. Every single day i've got so many fucking things to do! tuition EVERY SINGLE DAY. can you believe it. although it's alot of money but FUCK LAH. if i get alot of money in exchange for my freedom, time, brains and what not, then i rather dont want lah.

feel so tired, stressed out............. tired both physically and mentally........... my brain feel so squeezed......... i feel so drained.............. i've got sooooooooooo many things to do every single day........ so many things to think about, to stress about......... i dont even have time for myself these days to even blog............ i feel so damn tired i feel like lazing on the bed all day...... feel like doing so many things that i was doing just months ago........ things that i dont have the time to do now........... my head feels heavy all the time......... heavy with thoughts, bf, appointments, tuitions, piano lessons, shopping sprees, assignments, projects, meet ups........ i hate those kinda feelings when i dont even spend quality time at home with my family....... everytime when i reach home they'll either be asleep or not there........ or everytime the moment i reach home, i'll have to go out again........ i feel so damn bloody sick of the lifestyle i'm having now........... i dont even have time to blog! i dont even have time for myself........ i dont even have time to sort my own things out........ i dont even have time to think for myself....... all my thoughts are always concerned about other ppl........i let everything influence me so much...........i feel like i'm living my life for others.......... i let ppl affect me so much........

Your Personality Is Like Ecstasy

You're usually feeling the love for the world around you - you want to hug everyone.And while you're usually content to sit back and view the world with wonder...Sometimes you're world becomes very overwhelming and a little scary.

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

just realised we didn't take a single photo together on our 5th yr anniversary........ STUPID.........anyway, i just took very few photos....... dont know why i was so distracted i actually forgot to take photos.......didn't really do much to celebrate our anniversary...... just had dinner at Pariss international buffet and watched "Shoot 'em all" which was quite a nice movie.....

the actual day, the bf geng MC to accompany me.... heh.... or rather, i accompanied him to the dentist to take the MC since he really had a toothache, so we thought, might as well.... spent the day strolling around Hougang Mall area, eating Dim sum at coffeeshop, ate desserts at the dessert shop......... although wasn't very exciting, but it felt very nice....... the pace was slow, we didn't have to care about work or studies.... just chatted and strolled......... and the day was over just like tat.... just like any other normal day............... as the old old saying goes, everyday will be like Valentine's day (or anniversary) if you love each other......... heh............ the bf just "proposed" just nw, hahhaha......... sudden surge of warmth when he suddenly popped the question......... "when we getting married, can faster get married?" hehe....... so sweet............................. *blush*

Happy 5th year Anniversary to Hubby!!

went Pariss (again) hahah to eat yesterday........... went back frigging full........... happy happy day!

hmmmmm.......... wisdom tooth extraction was a fucking awful experience for me.......... one thing, cos one of my wisdom tooth is lying FLAT instead of upright, the dentist had to drill and cut my wisdom tooth into MANY pieces before she took it out........ the injection of the anesthetic INTO my gums was FUCKING CHEEBYE PAINFUL.......... WAH LAO.......... REALLY PAINFUL till i nearly cried.......... i could see the fucking damn long needle, i could feel the damn thing in my gums i really nearly cried............. and the best part i was injected TWICE, cos i had TWO wisdom tooth to be extracted.....

and the stupid dentist. really dont know how to describe her...... i think she's damn lousy ah!!! she kept saying "if you feel the pain, tell me." i was like fuck, by the time i feel the pain when you're halfway fucking DRILLING my tooth i'll be already screaming ah!! why can't u just fucking inject MORE anesthetic first?! arghhhhh................ so throughout the operation, i was so fucking taunted by the fact that i MIGHT just fucking feel the pain SUDDENLY halfway thru the operation (really operation, i was lying on a fucking cold operation table, covered throughout my whole body with blanket and the green cloth covering my entire face except for a small hole to fit my mouth), tat i just clasped my hands together very tightly throughout, prepared for a sudden jerk of pain........ i was under LOCAL anesthesia, which meant i was conscious THROUGHOUT the entire process, which made it 100 times even more terrifying................ haiz........... bad experience, i'lll never do it again.........

post extraction was also awful......... i lost alot of blood and i felt so damn giddy i just took cab home, i didn't even care if it was peak hours and i couldn't open my mouth to talk AT ALL, so i just wrote on a piece of paper for the cab driver to send me to my hse...................... i couldn't feel my cheek, chin, ears........... which was such an er xin experience....... cos i didn't even know when i drooled... i didn't even know i was salivating and i didn't swallow my saliva......... gosh........arghhhhh............ i was told by the dentist that after the extraction, my cheeks/gums will swell to its maximum size in 72hrs........wat an exciting thing to look forward to..........i almost rolled my eyes at her...........anyway, it's swollen now, to its maximum size......... cool.........i haven been eating, sleeping and coping well post extraction.......... cos it fucking aches and i cant frigging open my mouth.......... can only have very very soft food........... soft food=boring food=bu hao chi. knn. i dont know why mine hurt so much, some of my frens said theirs didnt hurt, but some of my frens said theirs hurt a lot........ so i belong to the unfortunate group......... SUAY AH............ i think both tooth were on the bottom, cos mine was operation instead of just extracting and twisting it out of my gums.......... and cos i had TWO wisdom tooth removed?? dono lah, SUAY LAh.......... grrrrr.........

another thing to "look forward to" is to have my stitches removed next wednesday........ can you imagine STITCHES?!?! sounds damn fucking scary from the sound of it............ i didnt' even know my wounds were stitched up till the nurse told me at the end of everything to arrange for follow up appointment......... i have to go back there again?!! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i've got plenty of medicine to eat.......... plenty.............. and i dont know why...... all my frens after their operation didn't even have medicine ah........ at most a mouth wash......... aiya, told u i'm suay rite.............

i'm sooooooooooooooo sick at my blurness.......... still can't get over it........ can't believe i overlooked it........ grrrr......... school admin staffs just suck ok..... they always dragggggggg things and dont get back to you...... i cant believe i just got myself into could-have-been-avoided trouble........ really irritating...... if only i had just fucking just CLICKED on the damn confirmation registration button..... if only my bf's internet connection was not down!!!! ARGH!!

anyway, sch's been busy........ 1st wk of school and i already felt the pressure..... fuck man.......... and i've got a dental surgery appointment on Wednesday........ i'm soooooooo scared man........ i got to operate to get TWO of my wisdom tooth out...... my doctor initially asked me to take out all 5 at once...... (YES I've got 5!!) but i might just die of overwhelming pain ah.... so i just take 2 out and just wait for the rest of the 3 to give me trouble before i start thinking about it........ for now, JUST 2....... something the doctor said gave me the nerves ah..... the doctor said there's 0.5% chance that the wisdom tooth operation MIGHT affect the nervous system for the chin, tongue and jaw........... so damn bloody scary ah!! fuck man............ 2 person i hate most in this world: 1. Dentist, 2. Hairdresser. ARGH!!! everybody said wisdom tooth surgery will hurt............ how?! i swear i will take the pain killers rigourously.... oh man.............. sobs........

so bloody pissed at my blurness!!!!! oh god........... i didn't know the school's ECR ended YESTERDAY!!! and i didn't confirm my school timetable!!! OMFG! fuck man...................................... i'm so bloody worried now i cant get the ideal timetable that i want!!! FUCK AH!! how fucking blur and forgetful i am i really dont know!! ccb..................... fuck man..................... arghhhhhhhhh really pissed.....

Not bad results

finally got my results..... didn't do too good... but didn't do too bad either.... was disappointed at my three 3rd class honors for my subjects..... but i'd thought 2 of them were a sure goner, so it was very lucky that i even passed.......... was/STILL IS super super glad of my ONE 1st class honors subject...... and it was a GOOD 1st class honors.... so happy......!!! but........ grrrrr.... all the rest all 3rd class....classification of honors: as long as you score 5 subjects of a class, you'll get the class..... (eg if i have 5 1st class honors, i'll get 1st class honors degree lor) which is so so so so so so damn fucking hard ( I SUMPAH it's damn fucking difficult to get 1st class honors ok, 34 is the passing mark, and many ppl only get around the 3rd class range, PLEASE do not look down on UOL, i swear it's a fucking difficult degree, they had only 12 1st class honors last year for our graduating batch, which is at least a few thousand cos we can fill up the WHOLE of the expo exhibition hall)...............................

come next year........i'll be DEAD, cos my subjects are all MATHEMATICAL subjects........!!!! SHIT. but i can do it, i WILL DO IT!! I CAN GET MY 1ST CLASS HONORS OR 2ND UPPER!!

the only thing that i can do now is to work super super super hard for my 3rd year and get 3 second upper class, or FOUR 1st class for my subjects next year....... meaning to either get a second upper honours degree or a 1st class honors....... cos i have one 2nd upper and one 1st class now.... 3 more subjects to go.......... and i've got 4 subjects next year, meaning 3/4 of the subjects i gotta CHIONG AH.......... ARGH...

aiya, bet no one knows what the hell i'm talking about......i am so going to work hard nxt year......... i will study EVERY SINGLE DAY (try lah)......... JIO me to study!!

fuck fuck fuck................... exams results out TODAY............. i think.... i've heard alot of news about it.... but somehow i still haven't manage to get into the student portal to view my results......... i still prefer the paper thingy where they send your results via mail.......... i'll still be getting that... but the school's putting the results online....so i'll be viewing it online first.......... nervous breakdown.........

i'm so damn fucking bored............ u know when you get busy, everything starts flooding in, emails, calls, smses, homework,tuition assignments... but when u're so damn free..... you stay at home everyday WAITING for emails.... going online every single minute, browsing through blog updates..... even your piano teacher will cancel on you at the very last minute... and the thing is, you didn't even want it to be cancelled (which is so unlike me!) cos u're so bored!! and now i'm just waiting for time to past by so i can go for my piano tuition at night............. and cos of the stupid piano tuition which is bu san bu si in the middle of the evening....... i can't meet up with Vel! dammit.......... and the stupid bf still hasn't replied my frigging sms yet. grrrrr........................... feel so hollow. hole. gaping hole. empty brain. knock knock, and u'll hear echo.

hmmmmm just realised i dont have photos for day 3 vietnam.... BECAUSE, the blur queen forgot that on day3, the blur queen brought out the camera, but forgot to take the camera battery with her..... so couldn't take pictures..... so.... hafta wait till i get the photos from my fren for day3 lah..... STUPID girl....

Day 2 - Mekong Delta Vietnam Trip

Day 2, We went to Mekong Delta, again in the more rural areas of Vietnam, (actually, everywhere in Vietnam is rural except Ho Chih Min lah)... Mekon Delta is where the Boat people live..... They really live on floating houses and they even have floating markets and villages.... too bad we didn't get to go to the floating markets due to time constraints.... Of cos, we went to Mekong via boat.....


on our way to Mekong village..... floating houses....

Even Floating lamp post!

We reached the Mekong village after a 20mins boat ride.... we visited the place where they made their famous rice paper.... they eat everything with this rice paper.... eat fish with rice paper, eat bbq lamb chops with rice paper......

This beautifully fried fish was our lunch!! it's in the package for the 1 day trip to Mekong! and guess how much it was??!! $12/pax for the whole trip!! Lunch included! omg, so damn dirt cheap!

Me on a hammock! I nearly fell off the stupid thing! clumsy me......anyway, i bought his cap for SGD$3, DIRT CHEAP can.... and my local fren told me it could be cheaper.... (!!!)

lazy bf........



us standing precariously on a plank of thin thin wood.....



We sat on a horse carriage too!!! felt sorry for the tinyhorse... it had to carry 7 ppl including the driver...... poor thing...... but the horse carriage moved surprisingly fast!!! and bumpy!! i nearly had to fish out my axe oil.... hahhaha......



us and our horse.......



bf and the snake!! u know why his face so anxious?? cos the snake was trying very hard to writhe away from him.... and he had grab hold to it tighter..... my bf was very very afraid! cos he and another fren of mine, just finished irritating the snake in its cage earlier on before the photo taking session..... IDIOTS.... both of them used branches to poke the snake and the snake stirred and got irritated..... and they didn't know we were goin to take photos with the snake later on..... hahhahaha.... both of them panicked, "how ah, what if the snake recognise our scent".....

Me and my forced smile.... i was bloody scared ok!!! scared to death!! the thing was writhing it's head towards me! and i felt something big in the stomach! and i realised it was the snake's lunch!!! OMG........ i was so scared ah.... then my bf purposely took his own damn time to take the pic... "oh sorry, cannot cannot try again".... i nearly died....

2 of our frens.... all 4 of us were on a very small sampan boat, on our way to another island...... there were 2 rowers, one infront and one behind.... and both of them were ladies.... the moment my bf got on board the small sampan, the boat rocked like mad and all of us clutched to the boat for our dear lives.... and the 2 ladies shook their heads.... hahaha cos they had to row the very heavy boat with 4 very heavy ppl for a long ride.....anyway, we gave them tips after we got off.... so they went back rowing happily....

murky water..... but not from dirt..... geography remember? it's a delta, so they are all sediments from the main sea that connects 6 countries.... cambodia, vietnam..... and i cant remember which... hahhaha....






Our very sumptuos seafood dinner tat day..... this was the first time i had so much seafood in my entire life.... there were oysters, escargots, clams, mussels, fish, big big big prawns, cheese prawns and crabs!! and i cant remember what...... our table was FULL of seafood..... gosh.... we didn't even order rice, we just stuffed ourselves full with just seafood and nothing else... looks unappetising with the leaves (in vietnam, the eat raw leaves with everything for every meals)... but it was simply delicious.... nothing in singapore can beat this ok.....im someone who dont eat oysters, mussels or clams.... even I thought it was very very nice....so must be damn nice ah....talk cock....







me and my big big prawn..... we had 1 big prawn each...... i couldn't keep track on how many prawns i ate that night.... there were at least 3 plates of prawns.... all cooked in different sauce... gosh....... heaven.....



i know this doesn't look like fish, but it's a HUGE fish with very nice decorations... hahahha.... anyway, dont have alot of pics of the table-full of seafood cos we were too busy eating and getting our hands dirty eating crabs and prawns!



finally, satisfied after the seafood sumptuous meal........yummy.....

and guess how much did we spend on soooooooooooooo much seafood? less than SGD$25 each for 6 of us!!!! do you think you can have 4 crabs, 6 big big prawns, 3 plates of small prawns, 2 plates of mussles, 2 plates of clams, 1 big big fish, 2 plates of snails.............. fucking cheap!!!! the seafood super fresh somemore!! we chose our own crabs and prawns ok, all alive and freshly caught!!... in singapore????? $150 for 6 ppl for such seafood meal?? eat da bian lah....