bad case of food poisoning........................ both of us... hell..

wat a nice cool nite...... lazy nite.... windy and nice... the rain's nice... i love it when it rains at nite....

i desparately need a new bag.... my old one's strap broke.... i super chor lor ah... sian....and i need a new phone...i think it reached the max no. of times to be flipped... (a fren said once it reached like dono how many times.. i think 500times then will spoil..and i think he's rite..my phone's starting to auto switch off by itself ard 5times a day??) mum's promised to buy me one.... hehe.. still thinking wat phone to buy...wanted to wait till ard christmas period to buy...but starhub HAD TO send me a voucher which is due on 18th nov.. which means i hafta buy one by then ah... cos its 50bucks off.. heh....

so happy mum's finally decided to discard our bloody spoilt-for-a-yr aircons (me and my bro's spoilt aircons...the tubes inside rotted and cannot change! cos of my false ceilings...gotta make hole in ceiling and all...) for new ones..... still deciding whether we shud put one more in the living room or not... but will be quite ex ah... 3000 plus... hmmm....

i regret saying i've some money to spend a few entries ago.... cos i became super broke frm the nxt day till now... said it too soon....knn..

i hate myself.. i think alot of ppl hates me too...

i think the week passes tooo damn quickly... with a blink of the eye.. its nearing the end of the week again... and my weekends are always long... cos no school on friday...but i dono wat to do every friday... sianz... maybe i go shopping by myself... i know i shud study....but im tooo tooo lazy................. and cant be bothered...

cute tomato...

er.... how do i look with make-up? very zi-lian.. put photo of myself... but... wat the hell la...

this pic says it all..... *smiles*

i LOVE this photo.... love the person in it even more.... soooooooo cute rite? hahah.. 1st time he volunteered to go in and take picture leh... aiyo... so cute... hahahha... guess where's this phonebooth? my bf said he bets no one will know... but i think all of u can guess it lor...

long time no blog........

super super long weekend... thurs went for final theory evaluation..... and got my final theory test on 4/11... im so looking forward to it. NOT. went great world city after that... and realised great world city is not as big as i tot it was ard 10 yrs ago.... went there ard 8-10 yrs ago and i tot it was DAMN BIG (well considering i was damn small and midget when i was like 10?) and i tot it was damn cool back then when i saw the toilets were painted with diff themes.... and now.. looking back... i wish im tat small innocent young girl once again... so fascinated by every single thing... i mean, IM SERIOUS, i was so fascinated by the toilets i went to the diff levels just to stare in awe at those colourfully painted walls....

watched 2 movies over the weekend.... the European Giggolo SUCK BIG TIME AH... kns.... such a disappointment.. i tot it'd be full of good intellectual jokes and what not...but its really full of lame jokes.. *argh* on the other hand... when i tot GOAL! would be a damn boring show... it turned out its so much better than the European Giggolo... (girls can go watch it wif ur bf, not as boring as u think it is..wahahhaha) its very touching... not going to be a spoiler... go watch it urself...

after going for the wedding dinner on sat i realised how Fugly and fat i really am....(hmmm...is Fugly= fat + ugly? or Fugly= Fucking ugly?) ANYWAY, looking at those prettily clad and made-up girls made me feel so inferior.... watever.... i just felt like a total loser....

on a lighter note..... the food was good... especially the sharks fin....(long time nvr eat liao!) heh.... it was at the hotel shanghai... the hotel nxt to the hotel beside zouk (i forgot the name la heh) was it concorde? or wat was it? AIYA forget it.. as i was saying... there was a life band... 2 pretty ladies dressed in cheongsum singing some old old songs... good atmosphere... machiam in those old shanghai days like tat...get the drift?

sunday and monday was a total BORE. SHAMAN KING (cartoon), sleep, SHAMAN KING, eat, SHAMAN KING, sleep.. and he HAD TO work on sunday nite till monday morn... left me alone sleeping at his hse....

HEH... yesh...i spent 5 days at my bf's hse...(thurs,fri,sat,sun,mon) only came hm today...

"u think ur hse hotel issit? come and go as u wish ah? check in awhile then go off arldy ah?" sounds familiar? hahhaha... tat old nag.... :P

i just realised........ tat my friendster got pathetically super less testimonials........which goes to show how equally pathetic i am..

i am so sick of this life..........................

my english suck............... or sucks?? see what i mean?

this week's supposed to be my hols....but i hafta go sch for like THREE WHOLE DAYS...... when my normal sch week is FOUR... wat kinda hols is this...fuck...but i think i mentioned before alrdy? AIYA doesn't matter la.. my brain's empty.. not much left....

the only gd thing for me to look forward to is meeting hubby tml... he's got off for thurs and fri... yay.... y do i sound so indifferent... (cos most likely we'll be rotting at his hse again watching Shaman King cartoon... :P) our long long long weekend together....... the only dampening part is he's gotta work on sunday nite... wtf... we mite be cooking on fri.... we'll see how it goes... might be western food again... or just our normal fried egg, nuggets, luncheon meat and campbell soup..(eh actually not bad lor..super tasty ah... cos all so salty! campbell soup with rice is enuff!) wahhaah... we tried japanese food the last time with the curry cubes....but nt very nice leh....

my life's so damn frigging no life...... how ironic... no life life...

i have a very bad case of insomia these days.... ever since a few wks ago... i can only sleep after 2am... and i hafta wake up early in the morning for tuition every tues and thurs... and every monday morning's lesson.... which only leaves me wed and fri...... and i feel very awake now...... how?? its getting frm bad to worse... haizZz............ i feel like im an airhead...my brain's getting hollower by the day... u know wat i mean? when the teacher's going on in lectures i'll like go "huh?" and just switch off automatically... fuck man.. how the fuck am i supposed to pass anything.......... ARGH... i can't cope ANY of the subjects!!! FUCK LAH! fucked up world with a fucked up life so fuck the world and let's get high... LAME

My boyfriend used to be soooooooooooooooo much thinner and so shuai... wahhahah.... blame me for feeding him too much... :P 

lynn's less messy mess... hahaha...

suddenly came across this pic.... memories..... this is the mess i used to work with... somehow i always work very well in a mess...

disappointed at my econs test results.... din fail... but din do well at all... i think its damn lousy actually.... bloody shit...... got 24th place out of 37 ppl in our class..... its really F.U.C.K.. i tot i did quite well... its still not good enuff.. the point is i've nvr even seen how a model essay is like..and my essay all got ticks wat... then why still so lousy? i need to look at model essays to know how to make my essay better rite... argh.......... dono wat am i talking abt la.... wat the hell... why do i suck at EVERYTHING?!

To everyone:

thanks for everything... every single msgs.. every single words of encouragement...

To lynn:

I know I will only remember how to smile when i'm with the gang... when I see y ou guys... everything seems to vanish...just a simple game of 5-10 or a simple game of pictionary will leave me laughing my guts out... (i dun like i'm the boss.. use too much brains...hahhaa)

To Hubby:

and of cos.... i'll definitely flash my most sincere, most loving smile to you.... because you are the only one who can make me feel real... though u can be really F up and knn at times... (most of the time actually) but at least i know when u're ard i wun need to be afraid of anything.. but please dun siam when i need ur shoulders most... cos i'll make you pay back 10times worst with my most long-winded arguments..... and i'll make you remember what you did to me 10000 yrs ago... u know wat i mean....

u know wat hurts me the most? its when everytime i tot u were my only source of comfort, my only pillar of strength, u will nvr be. u will just be there to add salt to my wounds.

"can you solve the problem on ur own or not? can u always dun think abt dying?"

that hurt. alot.

YOU are the cause of my dying thoughts. can i solve you?

my only pillar of strength just failed me.... i really dono what else to hang onto anymore.. im falling straight down deep into the pits... and no one wants to lend a helping hand to pull me up.. not even him... wat else can i do but die?

i feel like wailing my guts out...

Do they have online quizzes for like "What is the best way for you to die?" or something?

pills? jump? or slit wrist?

IF YOU CANT FUCKING TAKE VULGARITIES THEN JUST GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG.

i am damn fucking fucking fucking lostform to the max... i dun wanna live anymore... let me just die ok........... this is really not my year for ANY kind of examinations... FUCKED UP LA KNN.................... chao chee bye... i failed my piano exams by a fucking 2 marks.......... FUCKING HELL FUCK THE FUCKING EXAMINER TO BITS AND PIECES LAH. FUCK LAH!

and now the fucking worst thing is tat my fucking exam pieces cannot be fucking used nxt yr anymore!! meaning i can't retake the SAME exam pieces!! i hafta LEARN NEW ONES!!! AND THEY ARE FUCKING SIX PAGES LONG (used to be only 4pgs long)!!! CHEEBYE!!! the problem is if i can take back my old piano pieces i can take it nxt yr FEBUARY!!!! INSTEAD OF FUCKING AUGUST!!! ITS ANOTHER YEAR OF TORTURE!!! PURE UTTER TORTURE!!! I'LL BE TORTURED TO DEATH!!! I DUN WANNA GO THRU TAT HELL AGAIN!!! IT'S REALLY HELL U KNOW!! HAVING TO STEP INTO THE EXAMINATION ROOM AND HAVING THE FUCKING OLD CHEEBYE EXAMINER STARING AT U WHILE U PLAY!!! ITS PURE TORTURE JUST PRACTICING EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i feel like a fucking total loser. i admit, im a fucking failure. im fucking stupid, i am really fucking stupid. i admit. i can't do anything well. i cant pass any single exams. 1st it was the disappointing A levels results, then it was another torturous period when i couldn't get into any single fucking local uni no matter how hard i tried to appeal, (whilst others could easily get a letter for interview and got in, i had nuthing, not even a fucking interview). then it was school. when i felt tat i can't cope with anything, and teachers nvr praised any of my work before, they always praised my classmates. and now.. the ultimate is really my piano exams. its the ultimate. i admit, i didn't really practice till it was a few wks before my exams. but still. still. still. i tot i could pass. at least scrape thru. but NO. i just HAD TO fail yet again. someone tell me im not a pure utter loser, failure, disappointment to my parents.

i find it very very very hard to move on. i've lost faith in every single thing. i feel my strength totally gone frm within my soul. i feel my brain's an empty shell. i find no strength to live on anymore.......

just let me die. my only strength is you. dun disappoint me. please.

went on a shopping spree... supposed to buy some clothes and 2 pairs of shoes.... ended up spending all the money on make-up... wtf is wrong wif me... but anyway.. its ok la... at least i learnt how to put on nice makeup frm tat half-guy fren of red earth... supposedly 120 bucks worth of makeup became only 60bucks... shiok...alot of things off my wish list...

mum's been bugging and bugging me to go learn driving... but i really dun feel like learning... cos it'll tie me down....... i hate being tied down by ANYTHING... be it school, work, tuition, and even driving.. shit man...................seriously, even if you pay for my driving lessons and pay ME for learning driving... i'll still think twice... knn...

i feel a tat bit richer............... just that tat bit... i hope my mum will buy me a hp real soon... cos my hp is going off by itself... its a miracle it survived 2 yrs.... im nt asking much...

i should be studying today...........but i've been lazing the whole frigging day........... no school... but im still so lazy...gosh.. sometimes i hate fri.... its such a long wait to meet my bf.... i realised i din meet my bf for a hell long time... (ok la, not a very long time.. but since monday ok! tats considered damn long for me ah).. cant wait to go out.... (I hope we can go out ah)... *crosses fingers*

Can't get this song out of my head ever since tuesday....... bloody sad song.... and everytime this song gets into my head.. it'll be on replay mode... and the mtv will also play in my head..... spurs memories.... just makes me wanna go back to sec life/jc once again.... just makes ur eyes hot with tears at times...

nothing's the same again....

最快乐的那一年 -Fish Leong

一部怀旧的电影　淋湿了心情

你的爱还在旅行或已定居哪里

也许遗憾和年轻　总绑在一起

不容许一点委屈　等放手才懂惋惜

静下心来发现过去大半是甜蜜　回忆

我最快乐那一年　是你陪我经历一切

什么都生动又强烈　有真正在活着的感觉

我们最快乐的那一年　像浓缩了最精华的时间

短暂却永远是火焰　在情绪冰凉时暖和心田

也许遗憾和年轻　总绑在一起 不容许一点委屈

　等放手才懂惋惜 静下心来发现过去大半是甜蜜　回忆

我最快乐那一年　是你陪我经历一切

什么都生动又强烈　有真正在活着的感觉

我们最快乐的那一年　像浓缩了最精华的时间

短暂却永远是火焰　在情绪冰凉时暖和心田

我~最快乐那一年　是你陪我经历一切

什么都生动又强烈　有真正在活着的感觉

我们最快乐的那一年　像浓缩了最精华的时间

短暂却永远是火焰　在情绪冰凉时暖和心田

多留恋都不能　活在从前　 决定不愁眉苦脸　不让深爱的人　挂念

anyone got nice one piece dress to lend me??? i want more options... though i borrowed the brown one frm rach... since the pink one is a little loose on top.... sianz..... such a chore........ im so damn tired......... i am so so so tired.... i dont know why i can only sleep at 2 am every single day.... this is bad......... argh.....

this looks very very very nice on me... personally i quite like this alot.. but the top is too big!!! as in, the upper part.. if i sit down surely zao geng like mad...and if pull downwards sure drop...... ARGH....

decided to go rach's hse today to borrow a dress frm her for bf's cousin's wedding... this looks quite nice.. but looks a bit old...

lazy lazy lazy week........... couldn't sleep yesterday nite.. and woke up super late this afternoon.. and decided not to go school.... i really dono wats come to me this week.... i've been really really lazy.. haizzzzzzzzzzzz....................... sometimes i feel tat time passes too quickly... not like i dun want the weekend to come so soon.. but its alrdy the middle of the week AGAIN.... so damn fast... and soon... my mock exams and wat not will be coming... and im not even prepared at all....

The one on the right is my bf's younger sis.... chio rite?! she won miss crowning glory... dono wats tat tho..

A very very very HAPPY 19TH BDAY to my beloved good friend/one of the best talking partners/the only person i've been to work with/bitching pal Lynnette... (though i dun tink she'll be happy tat we're a yr closer to the TWOs) heh.... but STAY HAPPY ALWAYS!

Happy Belated 3rd Year Anniversary................


quite belated la... heh...

westcoast... taken while running frm the rain.. hahaha..

he was chewing something while taking picture... kns...

Westcoast nite tat day... though short, was quite unforgettable... but the 24hr mac and the barred off area frm the sea was a wet blanket.. the atmosphere was great... maybe cos it was going to rain soon... the sky was orange.... it was very very windy... so cooling and so nice...thennnnnnn....... it started to rain... just when i thought it was such a wet blanket... my bf just grabbed my hand and rannnnnnn all the way to the car and we just snuggled in the car in the rain.... great feeling to see the rain pouring down on the windowscreen.... orangy sky.... occasional lightning and bf snuggled me tighter...

hmmmm... how come like the whole world nvr update their blogs anymore?? hahahah or issit just me?...\anyway... had a fantastic weekend....

fantastic weekend

fun

hugs

kisses

puma jacket

adidas t-shirt

chauffeured


summary: loved.....