tml's bf's sis wedding, like, FINALLY. what the hell......... i dont really like my dress.... how?? was chosen on impulse cos my bf and his mum was like so bu nai fan....... bf din even give comment, din even say nice or even not nice........... damn fucking pissed........ juz say "buy lah buy lah buy lah" and i know why the hell he kept saying tat, so he dont need to go choose wif me on another day, dont need to walk a few more shops............. if he hadnt been so impatient i might have found a much nicer dress........ so many more choices at far east......... but NOOOOooooooo i bought mine at Tampines mall.... ARGH. ARGH. TOO LATE.

u dont know how much i hate relatives............ whoever's relative. i hate hate hate....... all they know is criticise criticise criticise, compare compare compare. criticise looks, outfit, figure. compare schools, whose children's universities better than others, whose children's results better. really damn. bloody. pissing off. "oh u grew thinner, oh u grew fatter, u wear like that nicer, ur hair last time longer nicer." wah lan eh. and out of respect (and cos u really dont have anything else to say) u juz got to nod ur head, or juz reply "ya ya ya" even if they say u grew fatter, u still gotta nod ur head, say ya ya ya. wah wah wah, cant stand it.......... omg. tml shall be another round of criticising....... or maybe later tonight when i go his hse........ his relatives all there...... during cny also same thing, all my relatives asked about my sch, my results, wat course i taking, why i 减肥. WHAT WHY?!!??!! cos i fat then i want to lose weight ah!! what why?!!! they always ask the most ridiculous questions leh. why i wanna lose weight. wah, how u expect me to answer. they cruelly wants me to say "oh cos last time i fat ma, so i wanna lose weight lor".

the worst worst worst kinda of question i've heard was "why u wanna go study private university, WHY". fuck ah. what why, obviously rite. u juz want me to tell u straight in ur face im not gd enuff for local universities (like ur child), cos my results were bad. or what. WHAT WHY?! Who in the world CHOOSES to go private universities if they are capable enuff to go local uni. argh. i dont know ah. weird aunties. i dont hate relatives, i correct myself, i hate aunties. only aunties ask these kinda stupid questions. u know what? i'll NEVER be like them. and my mum will never be like them too. i've nvr heard her asking ANYONE, any of my cousins all these kinda of questions before.

i guess it's in the genes.... that women in my family cant cook for NUTS...... yesterday was the first time i tried cooking at home...... i cooked campbell soup, egg and mushroom, chilli minced meat and fried noodles........... well of cos the can soup went well..... but the fried noodles................... hur, i dropped the whole damn plate of noodles (not fried yet, juz cooked and dried) onto the floor.......... made the whole floor damn oily and everything... and my mum had to mop the floor.... nvm, i scooped the noodles all up and washed it and reheated it..... my little bro saw and later tat evening he din touch the noodles....... NEVERMIND, later when i cooked the egg...... *clang* dropped onto the floor AGAIN, right after cooking and everything.......... FUCK. this time i had to recook it........ so i used up 10 eggs... shiok..........

as for the fried noodles..... i overestimated and cooked for portions of 6 when there was only 4 of us, 3 adult and 1 kid............. so of cos the seasoning was for 4 person.... so it looked seriously bland in the wok.... but due to the quick thinking of the bf who managed to turn up juz in time, he quickly added tomato sauce and alot more other seasoning and helped to stir fry the BIG WOK of noodles..... couldnt have done it without him, :P no strength to stir the noodles leh, such a huge pile.....

as for the minced meat, i thought i did quite well...... and it was also, for a portion of i think at least 6 ppl... hahhaa... so there was lots of leftovers.... and we left it for my dad to eat.... i forced him to finish up everything, which he did... but said they tasted AWFUL.... u knw, u cant ask a cook to taste ur food, confirm say not nice.... i thought the minced meat was nice.................... hmmmm.... the minced meat would have tasted nicer with plain rice lor.... but too bad my hse dont even have a rice cooker...... i was quite surprised to even find the big wok at my hse..... but later learned tat my mum won it from lucky draw during her tupperware parties............. damn.

Twins and Boyz

Twins and Boyz 死性不改




又見了我的寵愛　誰願接受這種意外

你讚我天生可愛　不願看著我離開



同伴也話我傻　喜歡受挫

寧願情敵再傷我




人天生根本都不可以愛死身邊的一個

怎奈你最夠刺激我　凡事也治倒我

幾多黑心的教唆　我亦捱得過

來煽風　來點火　就擊倒我麼



誰戀愛就多障礙　死性我不想改

如我沒有你的愛　我沒法活得來

情人的存在　是我從來都志在

難在我拱手讓愛 我怕可一不可再　



難道你被愛都有害 我確信天真不會錯　

威力會移山填海

carine 好介绍

oh yah btw..... i think 5/4 mths ago i was 58kg ok! then cos i was constantly drinking one of the products (Fibreplus, helps constipation, flushes out toxins) my weight suddenly dropped to 56kg and sort of maintained till now..... still fat ah..... but my body cant lose weight easily leh........ another fren tried the same weight management programme she lost 5kg... DAMN! lucky her!!! argh........ the highest record was 7kg in 5 days.... but tat was cos the guy who drank it was like 98kg..... fatter ppl lose weight faster..... CONFIRM....my bf lost 5kg in 1.5mths too.... and he din exercise NOTHING, juz ate less ABIT every meals.... lucky him....

let me describe the programme for anyone interested lah:

there are 5 boxes in the programme, 1 box for each day. 1 box contains 12 satchets of supplements (to be mixed with water), all drinking stuff nothing solid. it's TOTALLY ORGANIC even children/pregnant ladies can drink, SWEAR, no chemicals nothing, not like medicine, note: SUPPLEMENT......

so u juz follow the consumption programme all planned out for u, printed on the back of each box

eg:

rise and shine: 1 satchet (Fibreplus: to gently remove toxic impurities while energising the colon, i.e help u shit, prevent constipation, u get the drift)

breakfast: 3 satchets aka mixed with 3 cups of warm water

lunch: 3 satchets

tea: 2 satchets

dinner: 2 satchets

before sleep: Fibre plus again to help u bang sai in the morning

anyway when i say 3 satchets, it means 3 diff products, one for energising and rejuvenating cos u'll feel tired when u lose weight; one for preventing u to take in carbo,sugar,fats and increasing metabolism; another to provide additional nutrients for ur body while ur body lose weight.....

sounds nice right......... juz by drinking 12 satchets everyday u'd have already felt damn full....so dont even need to eat! juz drink the thing when u feel hungry.... on top of tat still need to drink lots of water to flush the toxins out.... so juz drink drink drink!.... but dono why i lose weight so slowly! something's wrong wif me!! alot of toxins in my body!!! my fren said it's because im constantly eating unhealthy food outside tat's why.... i think so too..... haiz........ cos she's those kind who eats home nearly everyday... and she lost 5kg...... *ARGH! envious*

anyone interested juz call me....note: i dont earn $$$ from this, i dont even earn anything sum pa...i juz think it' damn good cos i think it's a sort of guaranteed 2kg loss, 'cos im a living example, everyday eat outside so unhealthy still can lose 2 kg...carine 好介绍

i remembered long long long time ago i wanted to buy Zando or Xtrim watever u call tat... but i read the ingredients and saw alot of chemicals all tat... and another thing was cos too ex also.... remember lynn? we wanted to share the 3box package and divide cost??

there's a thin line being the isolator and the one being isolated...... im both.....

cut fat cut fat........... tried the weight management thing, 5 days juz drink the supplement, which tasted DAMN GOOD (if u like to drink soya bean milk, u'll like this), quite shocked at the taste, actually i tot it'd taste horrible....... managed to cut 2 kilos in 5 days.... but but but, still fat.... and the result wasn't as good as i'd expected..... i wanted like more than 2kilos.... at least 3kg.... grrrrr..... it's so damn fucking easy to gain 2kg and so damn difficult to lose just 2kg of weight..... i juz hope i wouldn't gain that 2kg back by saturday.... fuck. i mean, i lost quite abit on the lower waist.... but the waist, the actual waist still damn THICK. thick thick thick. argh. i've been watching my weight for the 5 days.... juz gradual loss... nothing shocking... BUT I WANT shocking weight loss.....

start: 56kg/55.5kg (i din weigh properly when i started, damn. 500g diff ALOT leh)

end: 53.7kg (but it varies, like after meals, or after drinking water, hur. but averagely, this is it)

53.7 kg sounds NORMAL... but i realised, im still fat.... and tat's the problem.... i juz realised my bones are inherently LIGHT and THIN, so tat muz mean the rest of the weight is juz fats fats and fats.... so im made up of fats! ok im not fat. im plump. fleshy. watever u call tat. the bah thing. the bah TYRE still around my tummy area. pui.

anyway my fren says to lose 1 kg at marie france bodyline costs at least 300bucks... AT LEAST... so well, hur, guess i must have 赚到 ah.... $177 for 2kg... but i muz say it's really determination determination determination... which i lack horribly.... i lasted 4.5 days... the last half of the day, due to some unfortunate arrangements of fate, the bf's mum HAD TO chia dinner buffet at their house.... so i "hecked it" and ate buffet for dinner... so i've got like half a box left of supplements left which i'd intended for TODAY... which i didn't.... i ate beef noodles (hey! i din finish hor! left ALOT!!! appetite grew small) for lunch and fish soup (without rice!) for dinner................... sooooooooooooooo...... TOMORROW LAH.... tomorrow tomorrow... i'll finish tat half box...... and try not to have dinner or lunch..........

or maybe i'll have lunch and not dinner........... hmmmm....

went malaysia yesterday to buy specs..... ended up buying an Oakley specs for $484..... sing dollars.... including high index lenses and super scratch resistance frame........ warranty for a lifetime.... i tot was a good buy...... and went to buy the evening shoes for the bf's sis's wedding.......... still hafta buy an evening bag... dono buy frm where, damn pek cek.........

sad. sad. sad. no mood no mood no mood. feel like such a letdown sometimes. but i cant help it.

tagged by lynn.

Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. i have a big mole on the right side of my butt.

2. i can unconsciously memorise advertisements easily though i only watch tv twice a wk, or sometimes non at all. want me to recite the marigold peel fresh chinese advertisement for u? those advertisements get on my nerves, i can subconsciously repeat them over and over in my brain the whole day.

"Nation li ye nu yong", "sheng sheng sheng, ma ma zui bang"

3. am afraid of thunder, lightning, lizards, topgun, roller coasters, spinning octopus. i.e Escape theme park, wild wild wet, Euro funfair

4. i dont talk at home, i yell. "mummy!!!!! why u wash my jeans!!!! i need to wear!!!!"

5. i have great great great great tolerance for everything (hyper active kids, ego bf) under the sun. except the sun. hur. and my family members.

6. i apply tiger balm every night before i sleep. (think this is quite well known to all) bleah.

tag: serene, huiyee, velveta, jiada.

Blogging frm fone!

ok.... i've decided to buy sony ericsson K800i..... any complaints about sony ericsson phones juz shoot.... i need to gather more information.... im quite meticulous about choosing phones.... even though this wont be my phone for long... hmmm..... or maybe it will.... see how it goes lor.... cos it seems like quite a good phone... the user-friendliness of the phone wont be much of a issue to me....... since i was the user of one of the most user unfriendly phone for almost 2 yrs..... any phones tat come to my hand, i'll be able to adapt it within 2 days... hur... or maybe 1......

the phone's specifications.... so far so good.....with blue tooth, radio, music player, 3G, uses sony's cybershot technology with 3.2 mega pix for camera... i muz say the camera cybershot influenced me quite alot to decide on buying heh.... the camera even has red-eye reduction, how cool is that for a phone.... uses Xenon flash (!), video stabiliser,even picture blogging... wah.... quite good lah.... juz wondering if the phone comes with the cable to the computer.... if it doesnt then really stupid, and sibeh bo hua.... muz buy separately meh? hmmm....

Collin Raye - Love, Me

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. he said,"boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but i loved your grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, insteadOf her, i found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long i'll be.But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.And between now and then, till i see you again,I'll be loving you. love, me.

I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away,In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray.I know i'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long i'll be.But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.And between now and then, till i see you again,I'll be loving you. love, me.Between now and then, till i see you again,I'll be loving you. love, me.

*sniffs*

prawning anyone??

the O2 totally died on me..... Fuck. the. stupid. phone. cannot. on. at. all.

went to the service centre and i was told most probably the motherboard has died.... u know, motherboard aka most-impt-thing-in-ur-damn-bloody-phone. y so suay? i know why, cos my mum strike 2nd price 4D on sunday, the day i found out the motherboard died. hur hur. cue for me to buy new phone? was told by the repairman if i were to change the motherboard, it'll cost me 345 bucks. WHAT THE HELL. might as well buy a new phone. but noOOOoo, i cant buy new phone cos contract haven end.... so now how?

oh, my mum juz said her plan is over, so juz use her plan to sign another new phone for me.... then wait till August when my plan is over then return the phone to her.... *loves her*

juz heard frm my mum she's already spent 500bucks on health products.... gosh... and nearly half she bought it for me, cos bf's sis wedding coming soon muz be pretty and slimmier.... wah lao..... *guilt guilt guilt* i muz treat her nicer frm now on k? cannot any-o-how shout at her when im frustrated ok? okok.

slimming tea, beauty tea, 5-day weight management product which costs $177 (!!!) and only last 5 days, some other organic health drinks..... hmmmmm.............. i muz really slim down.... if not really waste money.....

i wonder if anyone of u know, really understand how is it like to be very poor..... poor as in, u're studying in a private university (fucking expensive, cheebye expensive), ur dad's the sole breadwinner and has got 3 kids, 2 in poly and university, has NO CPF AT ALL (ZERO, non watsoever) and have to pay everything in cash..... not forgetting paying our housing loan, giving 1000bucks to my grandparents, insurance companies, bills, all in CASH....... or maybe, he's not really poor (or u might think)... but as the daughter, as the eldest, u feel so indebted to ur dad, mum, watever, tat u dont even want to go out and have fun anymore.... u feel so guilty, cos u know how tough issit, to earn each and every cent of those money u're spending.... his sweat,life,blood,bleeding fingers,stone-like sandpaper-like hands..... I feel guilty, cos all along im the one who's spending the most of the family's income.... alot on my school fees, piano fees, my hp bills, aircon bills, miscellaneous.....

i started to understand all these this yr.... abit late, but still not too late.... i learned about all these when my dad strike 4D.... i had really thought it was a huge sum of money.... really huge.... but then he was claiming he's got no money again... i was rather pissed, angry, annoyed, even suspected he was having other woman....how can he spend so much money in such a short time? i wanted to buy so many things, i wanted him to give me money to spend, i wanted to go overseas, i wanted to shop.... then i realised, all along i did not realise, he was in debts.....

i thank the angels guarding me and my family..... at least now we're cleared of debts.... even though we might not have much left to spare....

i've grown up.

hmmm... bf bought me the dress for his sis's wedding....... i still gotta buy a pair of shoes and clutch bag to go along........ headache...... dono what to buy..... the dress seems to be too formal leh........ sian leh... dono how...........

i need a pair of shorts.... any idea anyone? where to buy nice shorts? outfitters shorts i've tried.... but the cutting doesn't fit at all....... looks quite ugly on me..... hmmm..... shorts only suit skinny ppl...... i wear i look damn weird....... dono why... cant seem to find the right shorts for me.... arghhhhhhhhhh why am i so frigging F.A.T..... i really gotta start cutting weight NOW.... NOW NOW NOW..... for his sis's wedding... or i'll look rather ugly in tat dress with bulging fats....... yucks.

Happy 26th Birthday Hubby!!! *muackz*

*curses and swears*

the admin ppl at my school are simply HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE ppl..... wah lao eh.............. i was like 21 minutes late for my prelim exam (yeah i know it's alot but STILL!!).... and they didn't allow me to sit for the damn exam..... "oh, we only allow students in for the 1st 20 minutes", i looked at my watch and it was 10.20....... fuck. i told the person it's 10.20 now, and he had the cheek to tell me, no it's 10.21. CHeebye. 1 minute of difference. need to be so geh gao or not...... (my exam starts at 10)

"then can u just give me the exam paper, i wont sit for it"

"nope, cannot, or u come tonight at 7 to sit for the paper"

"i've got something on tonight, i cant come"

"then too bad"

"then juz give me the question paper, i need it for the revision classes"

"i've already told u i cant"

"i want to talk to ur person in charge"

i've learnt to fight for my rights......... after a vicious aunty at Robinsons Centrepoint selling Pierre Cardin undergarments made crude remarks at me and downright refused to exchange the undergarment set for me (when it was OBVIOUSLY HER FAULT)..... i super regretted not getting her name and complaining to her manager/supervisor. i got scolded by my mum and other friends i've told, telling me i should have complained to Robinson's customer service, should have complained to her manager....

anyway, back to my school.... so i talked to the head and after giving her some lame excuse that i cannot come for the test at night cos i've got work, and i woke up late cos i worked till very late yesterday, the in-charge finally gave me the prelim question paper..... seriously, i dont give a damn about not attending the prelims... i just want the damn question paper cos i need it to go for revision classes by the UOL..... our examiners are coming to singapore to go thru our prelim exam papers and hopefully give us some tips...... and main thing is, i've PAID for the damn revision (costs me 225bucks!). i dont want to pay for the UOL revision for nothing lor.

anyway, i gave the guy who stopped me from entering the examination hall a very hard glare before i went off.... pissed off.

fucking ccb. my hp crashed AGAIN..... wah lao eh.......

not a smooth day for me..... wanted to make specs.... found out my astigmatism increased yet again, and have to be custom-made... which cost $295 on lens ALONE, not counting frames yet.... and those frames i like, and those frames that are big enough for my fucking big face.... cost like $348..... add together? $643.. WAH LAN EH. 600 bucks for a pair of specs. then i asked about permanent contact lens, 400bucks at most! then might as well get permanent contact lens rite? BUT NO! my mum wont hear of it. arghhhhhhhh............................. 600plus lehh........... so ex............ and i wanted to buy the addidas watch that citychain's having promotion on for only frigging 45bucks.... but dont have the colour i want anymore.... ALL sold out.... only got yellow and grey.... which looks quite ugly....... angry.... pui.

im getting fucking fat fat fat.................... really kept eating and eating and eating for the whole of CNY......... lao yu sheng 4 times....... went to eat at restaurants 3 times........ im really getting FAT. lumpy. watever. im still so bloated........... went to eat with the family and bf at some restaurant along sunset way juz nw..... went to Seafood Paradise Restaurant (somewhere in Ubi) with bf's parents on Sunday..... the second time i've been there since CNY.... seafood seafood seafood..... bleah... most importantly, very unhealthy food..... argh........ but who can get sick of seafood?! yummy... crabs..... prawns.......

anyway, juz spent a tonne for bf's bday presentS...... hope my dad still give me some money to spend, though i kept telling him "dont need la"... heheh......

we're getting a new fan for the living room, new heaters for toilets...... and im getting a new specs!!! yeah! the only thing i bugged my dad was for a new pair of specs and nothing else..... i think he was damn happy..... cos i didnt bug him for any extra money to spend...... juz bugged him for a pair of new specs (which is totally "practical" lor).... actually i didnt want specs, i wanted permanent contact lens which might cost cheaper than my specs........ (cos i have a bloody high degree of astigmatism)... but he and my mum die die wont let me buy contact lens..........

"permanent contact lens very dirty one"

"u are damn lazy, surely wont take care of ur eyes"

"what if u sleep with ur contact lens on?!"

"contact lens very ma fan one"

"u try monthly contact lens first"

hmmmm...... i wonder if he'll sponsor me for chalet for my 21st bday....... might try to bug him..... my bro has already asked my dad to give him driving AND motor school fees.... my mum has already asked for the fan (those big ones with nice crystal lights attached to the ceiling one) in the living room, water heaters and (maybe)air con for living room (which i think is a total waste of money)...... he has already given me $400 for my specs....... hahah i think he's abit overwhelmed by so many requests at a time..... so mine shall wait awhile....

*LUCKY GIRL*

im a LUCKY girl.......... hahahah....more like i bring luck to others.... two times i asked my mum to buy certain numbers.... she didnt heed my advice... and TWICE the numbers came out...... bleah... she never buy.... BUT nvm, she won TOTO 3rd prize for the 10million toto draw on friday..... THIRD prize sounds so grand..... but its not as grand as it sounds.... cos around 2.9 million+++ shared by 2417 ppl........ so it's around $1224.6967 blah blah blah per person..... then i asked my mum to buy the amount of money she won for 4D.... and i kept telling her to "buy buy buy".... and she bought 1224.... NVM, when she went to collect the money, it was $1225 (cos i didnt know they rounded it up until she came home in the evening to tell me, and i straightaway told her to buy that number, but too late, closed liao)...... if i had known i would have asked my mum to buy 1225 for 4D ah..... she was at Bukit Timah and she told my dad she won $1225..... and LUCKILY, VERY FORTUNATELY, my dad heard me when i was telling my mum to "buy buy buy" that amount of money she won for 4D and he bought 1225...... ta da! FIRST PRIZE yesterday....... sibeh heng ah............ lucky he heard me..... my mum was like damn pissed she never thought of buying 1225..... cos she said i kept saying 1224.... bleah..... in any case, i'd rather my dad strike 4D (first time ever in over 2 yrs liao) than my mum...... hahah.......... cos it'll be 10 times more money than if my mum strike........ (but not enough to buy a car).... damn............ but GOOD ENOUGH!! in any case, i've been bugging my stubborn dad for a car.... but he kept insisting even if he'd won enough for a car, he still wont buy car......... whenever i bug my parents to buy something for me ah, or bug them to sponsor me to go overseas (which was the case this time, i'd wanted to go overseas with my bf, but no money to spend), they'll normally strike lottery..... see? i bring luck.... i can ask ppl to buy numbers.... but when i buy the same number with them it'll normally wont come out... hahhaa.... i wont strike 4D but i let ppl strike....

like my mum said...... i bring luck to ppl around me.... so make me happy! hehehe......

i wish all around me good health too........... last day of CNY liao...sad.... sian...

我带着一颗疲惫的心走了

我知道自己在你心里已不重要

难道我真心付出一切

是为了承受孤单和寂寞

如果你还爱我

你不会对我如此的冷漠

sometimes i juz wished i've never met him ever in my life... i wished our friend hadn't introduced us together.... for no one has ever made me feel so pained ever in my life... i wish i have a time turner.... turn back the time when i hadn't give in so much to him.... maybe things would have been different.....

there are so many things i want to do with him.... but he juz cant be bothered by these so called trivial stuff.... there were so many times i went out with him and realised i totally regretted even going out at all, for all throughout the trip i was juz self-entertaining myself.... there were so many times i've called him, and immediately regretted it, for there was nothing to talk about, or we might talk, and end up quarrelling and spiting each other.....

sometimes i wonder what have i gotten myself into..... burdens, restrictions, pain.............. nothing else? it's juz so painful and tiring to be the only one trying to continue.... i wont do it anymore.... i wont do anything for us anymore..... this is the last straw.......... so tired of giving in.... so tired of doing all of this alone..... this might have been the 10 thousand time i've said i'm giving up......... but this is really the last straw.... last time...... final.......

finale