Tuesday, December 30, 2008

by the way i forgot to mention.... i got a new wallet as a Christmas gift from the bf!!! (FINALLY!!)... it's time to ditch put my old wallet away!... but my new wallet's off-white.... and it gets dirty super easily... so i shall take care of it... (ya right, i got a purple stain on it on the 1st day, pen mark i think, tmd)...


the story of the Christmas gift:
bf: u go choose your present yourself, i buy for you
me: let's go gucci, i may find something i want there..
bf: ok, let's go... if you can find anything at/under 300bucks i'll buy for you
me: *excited, and off i marched to gucci*
bf: *sniggers*
me: TMD!! nothing under 300bucks! even a stupid cap was $450!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Christmas was D.U.L.L this year.......... i couldn't really enjoy my christmas cos of stupid work....... i was invited to 2 Christmas parties and 1 countdown party which i had to forego.......i was supposed to meet up with 2 gangs of ppl, which i also forego... i disappointed alot of ppl...but i pray they'll still invite me to Christmas party again nxt year..... heh....


Farewell 2008: The year's coming to an end......... i wonder if i've fulfilled any of the resolutions i've made for this year.... i think i've fulfilled some... like passing my piano exams and graduating this year........i just read thru my "wistful thoughts" column tucked nicely at the bottom of my blog..... long forgotten by me.... haha...


1. Graduate in 2008/ Get 2nd upper above! Prays hard... ---> DONE


2. Strike Toto/4D ---> ONCE, 250 bucks... hahah but i want more!


3. Go Thailand, Taiwan by 2008 ---> DONE half, went Thailand only..


4. Mitsubishi Colt Plus Turbo Car ---> WAIT ANOTHER 5 YEARS.


5. Glass Panes for Balcony ---> waiting for my mum to strike TOTO. haha


6. Gucci/Dior Bling Sunglasses ---> dont want it anymore... hahaha


7. iPhone ---> still contemplating between iphone or samsung omnia


8. More Shoes, Work Tops, Casual Shorts, Accessories, Watches ---> this will be permanently here. cos it's never ending... hahaha...


9. Earn more than 4k a mth in 2 yrs ---> really must wait quite long. tmd. considering the economy now.. pui.


10. Fancl Powder Cleanser, Origins/Biotherm toner, Fancl Blusher ---> bought long ago, other brands though...


11. All Dreams Come True ---> this will be permanently here too



i realised i've fulfilled some lah..... like going Thailand, graduating this year (but i din get 2nd upper though, sad).....i shall make another list soon... yah i know my list very superficial and materialistic, but im too lazy to think of deep profound ones hahah.... im a very practical person... down to earth, and very simple minded... anything can make me happy easily....but i guess i need to brush up on my wittiness... it's failing these days... i've done alot of stupid things recently and im regretting.....


well....... flashback on 2008.... now, wat did i do... i seriously cant really remember.... i only remembered the day i received good news about my results, that i passed everything and managed to graduate..... i went around the office telling the world and asking them to congratulate me... tat was quite retarded... hahaha... i remembered mugging not very hard for my exams..... haha..... i've got a lucky star.... i dont really study hard, but i still pass.... the star's been with me since young... but it failed during my A levels though.... hahaha... but if i didn't fail, i would have gotten a rather poor results which wont see me to taking business in the university.... and eventually, i wouldn't have met my uni bunch of gd frens, and i also wouldn't have joined my office and met the gd pals in my company too....


so, all in all, i din really have any regrets... cos i graduated... i joined my company.... i had lots of fun during my last year of uni.... i had lots of fun with my company pals.... it was hell lot of fun.... but there were times when i felt empty, lonely and unwanted by all.... there were times i felt really down....but it doesn't really matter to me anymore... i should look forward and not backwards.... it's all past.... somebody once told me about the past, present and future.... i can't really remember wat it was, but it goes something like: the past is past, and you can't really do anything abt it anymore... cherish the present and look forward into the future.... okok, doesn't sound very fantastic but it made quite an impact on me..... i'm still trying to look forward instead of backwards....


i dont know whats wrong with me these days... i let my emotions get hold of me and i show it all on my face... i didn't used to do that.... it's irritating.... my EQ dropped 10 fold these days.... i read it on the papers somewhere that you shouldn't bring your emotions to work... you got to leave it behind at home.... yes, i shall do that.... but i think, the reason i bring my emotions to the office... is cos i feel that those ppl in the office are close enough for me to open up and show them my emotions.... my gang at the office, are really that close... i feel... that i can open up to them easily.... just that i show it at the wrong location, i shouldn't do that in the office..... another major thing that happened in my year 2008, was i got to know the office gang.... they made me see what FUN was.... they showered me with the kind of care and concern that i really appreciate....


sometimes i feel too lucky to be true.... everywhere i go.... there'll be this particular bunch of ppl who will make an impact in my life... who will truly show concern for me, who will really care and appreciate me for my stupidity at times...at every particular stage of my life, i'll meet different bunches of ppl.... and it'll always be a super fun group of ppl.... and ppl who are really true to me.....

primary sch: pam and the rest of crystal gang whom i still hang out till now....they are the only ppl other than my family to still call me "kai lin"

secondary sch: yanwen and 04,06 gang... whom i seldom hang out, but always have unlimited topics to talk about, especially my dear yanwen....everytime i meet her for our dinners, the food will seem so totally unimportant....

jjc gang: lynnette and THE GANG... COT gang... they are also another bunch of my crazy-true ppl who always still drop me msgs, ask me how are things and ask me out...whom i had hell lots of fun even though i've disappointed them countless of times by being MIA....

uni gang: yvonne and the rest of the gang... yvonne who is ever so fairy godmotherly to me, whom i always have unlimited topics to talk about, whom really always help me out selflessly...

my office gang: angeline and the boys... angeline who's ever so fairy godmotherly too, and always offering to lend me 1001 things out of her wardrobe, who is always there for me to whine to.... the office boys who are always there to hold our doors, help us carry our laptop bags and help us buy lunch to pamper the only girls in the group....


looking forward: im trying very hard to save up for my future hse (if there's any) and future car (if any) hahaa.... but to no avail.... and im running out of clothes to wear....... so in the near future, AKA TOMORROW, im going to shop till i drop cos we're having HALF DAY OFF! woohoo... im sure everyone else are having half days off lah..hahaha but tml is the day where i dont want to stay over to work, where i can finally go shopping after a long long time.... well, i actually went shopping on christmas eve, but it was with an agenda of buying christmas gifts for my frens but i ended up not buying anything cos of the unbest timing, i had to rush off rather quickly...... so i didn't really shop for myself... but tomorrow, the priority will be ON ME. if the bf refuses to follow me to shop, i shall go shop myself. i dont care.


ok... tat was a rather long post......... so...i'll wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR in advance cos i shall be dead tired after my shopping spree tomorrow to blog...... START MAKING YOUR RESOLUTIONS NOWW!!!! it works when u put it down on pen and paper, or like me, on my blog (ok lah, mine's not exactly resolutions but more of a personal wish list hahaa)... somehow... u'll get at least a few things done on the list... cos u'll do it subconsciously... SO DO IT NOW.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

女生爱穿高跟鞋, 为的不是要和男生平起平坐。而是在反地吸引力时, 有男生细心牵着。在不符合人体龚学的范围, 体验自然的爱.

saw this from a fren's blog....

HOW TRUE. What's with girls and shoes anyway... I never did realised that when i was still studying... that girls will need a million shoes... cos i always just wore my slippers.... but when i started working... i realised, girls need a million shoes.... to match different looks... and also, shoes get spoilt at an alarming speed... (maybe only in my case) cos for the past 2 wks, i've already spoilt 2 shoes... i need MANY MORE shoes... maybe i should hire a personal cobbler.......

i........ am..... damn fooking stressed............ i got to get my work done by monday...... cos the manager wants to review our work on the job......... so i was back in the office today to fooking WORK and i had to fooking forego my christmas partyyyyyyy withhhhhh my uni frenssssssssss really......argh......... i was quite upset actually....... that i couldn't go....... i wanted a day to relax and play and celebrate with frens that i haven't seen for many many months...... for this stupid job, i've foregone meeting alot of ppl including jc frens too......... like wtf..... shit job i've got here..... the client is #$%!@@# also......


how?! i havent buy christmas presents yet......... NO TIME!!!! how?!


being lonely is a scary thing......... it makes u think more, makes u more depressed, makes u "missleep"....... i realised...... im quite a lonely person......... i dont really have much social life........ i realised, if i dont meet my bf... im basically always alone.... it's all the more 明显 when i started work....... i didn't used to mind eating alone, i always always eat alone...... but these few months that i've been at work... i started to detest the feeling of eating alone..... it makes me feel.... all the more lonely.... it makes me think more..... i used to think eating alone is a good thing too.... you dont feel stressed when you're eating... you can eat at your own pace.... you dont feel rushed and you can finish all your food..... the reason why i always always cant finish my food, is not because im full or anything.... it's cos i dont want ppl to wait for me when im eating... so i rather not eat.... well other main reasons can be the food is shit.... cos im very picky with my food.... but nowadays i don't really have much choices cos food around my office area is SHIT.


当你孤单你会想起谁?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

i was thinking........ it's been a very long time since the bf bought me something.......... as in, paid-in-full kind....... hahaha... cos i know he's going to go on and on about the half sponsored DS lite which i cant remember where i put...... i've been so busy these few mths at work that i totally forgot about my DS.... i shall go dig it up soon..... but i doubt i have the time to play anymore........... i've been envy-ing alot of ppl recently whose been having alot of fun/love/gifts from their lao gong and bfs recently.... when will it be my turn? *sighs*


since the Christmas festive mood caught up on me... i've been thinking and trying to rack my brains over the gifts that he's given me before.......... camera, ds lite and sponsoring for my 21st bday party were the most expensive stuff he's given me before....... 3 watches, 1 each for my bday (how boring)... haha..... wallet that i've been using for 100000 years and is going to fall apart soon.... 1 bracelet which i lost...... 1 ring which i also lost....... hmmmm... hahaha.. and many many sponsored stuff which i cant remember.... and also which i lost........ ok la, maybe he shouldn't give me anything afterall.... i'll end up losing everything....... give me something hugeass like a laptop or maybe something that i'll use everyday like the SAMSUNG OMNIA OR IPHONE then maybe i wont lose it..... hahaha.... ok, maybe even phones i'll also lose it.......but at least the frequency is lesser......... or maybe not......... hmmmm......

Saturday, December 13, 2008

sometimes i feel like the world is crashing unto me......... i can feel it....... coming.......... soon......

this crazy thought just came into my mind... if i were to call anyone in the morning........ it'll be either 1) im going to be late so please help me cover my ass, or 2) im taking mc or urgent leave, or 3) i got into an accident..... but normally i'll just sms ppl to tell them im late or taking mc...... i call unless it's urgent.... so if u get my calls in the morning... PLEASE PICK UP OK...

haha just randoming.... cos i think she must have been the 1000th person to tell me that i dont watch out for cars when i cross the road...... I can't help it.... like seriously, roads. are. so. frigging. hard. to. cross. i swear. especially in the morning.

i've been saying alot of stupid things and i totally regret them.... where the hell did my EQ and IQ go??... i totally hate myself..... e.g: p&l need to extrapolate for interim? ans: yes. then trade receivables? (Balance sheet item!!! tmd!!) ans: NO!!! only p&l item remember?

well done carine, nice work. u're the confused queen. EMBARRASSING. i totally look down on myself.

and alot of other things i said as well. totally regret the moment i said them out.

office.... had been alot of, daggering around.... u need to have alot of EQ to maintain office relationships... and it's rather hard for a low EQ and IQ person like me... i need someone for me to take under cover.... under the protective wings of ppl to shelter me from watever daggers and arrows coming my way.... *ahem interprete that angeline heh*

i've been very very very very very moody this week.........
1. i didn't get to meet the bf. not even today, which is a fucking friday.
2. i said alot of regretful things example mentioned above,
3. i didnt' manage to get my work done,
4. i can feel my incompetency and inefficiency at work accumulating fast and i need to fucking do something abt it.
5. and the fucking list goes on and on.

The world just crashed on me and nvr said sorry. help. i'm struggling.

i din mean to be emo, to look emo in office. im just sleepy, tired, brain dead that's all. i dont want to be a emo kid to vie for anyone's attention. i dont need tat kind of attention. i just need to whine and let off some steam. i hope i din irritate the hell out of everyone. bleah.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

cant sleep......... nothing unusual........ been having alot of random thoughts........ must have been the stupid 101 IQ questions i had in the office........ used up alot of brains today....... had to work and think about IQ questions at the same time.......


shall post pics of JB trip soon....... feeling quite lazy right now.......


met up with Yvonne dearest today.... felt darn good...... talked to her non-stop during dinner.... i couldn't even concentrate on my darn good beef burger from coffee club.... super good.... yummy..... okok, i concentrated... since i knew it was yummy.... *lame* we talked about alot of stuff.... talked hell lot.... from lame topics to serious topics... you name it....... i can tell her EVERYTHING under the sun..... and the best thing is, her sense of humour rocks! hahahah....


anyway.... im fine.... thanks for all the concern...... got quite a shock to receive calls and smses.... im really really touched.... u guys rock my world....


back to a boring wed tml in the office...... trying to tidy up my piling workload...... damn it........ im always in the office doesnt mean i got nothing to do ok........... i realised i got lesser things to do at client's place.... dammit.... at least u dont get aimed to do alot of random stuffs..... grrr.....

Thursday, December 04, 2008

The laws of attraction didn't work........ instead, it backfired... badly....

i attracted that you will love me more. i attracted that you will dote on me more. you didn't. instead, u just hurt me. you initiated. i din want it. u broke my heart. badly. u dont understand me, what i wanted to say. my priorities have always been just you. i can ditch my frens just to be with u. i can do so much for u.

maybe it'll all be fine again tomorrow. maybe it will never be fine ever again.

i know you loved me. i just want to know how much. has it died down. or has it disappeared totally.

i just wanted you to know, i have always loved you. so much. so so much. even though i complained, i whined, i cried, i seemed nonchalant. even though i seem to pay more attention to my frens and my work recently, rather than pay attention to u. but u were always on my mind. i swear. i have nvr done anything wrong to you, ever, in my life. never.

im not sure if i can forgive. im not sure if i can forget.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

i think i've lost my motivation to go work.......... i need to find a new motivation of some kind.... some god sent motivation maybe, to pull me to work....... i drag my feet to work everyday....... i got home today...... in a very bad mood..... i was stoning in the office the whole day...... i was damn sleepy..... rather moody..... very lethargic...... to even refill my water, to even go toilet........ miss huang had to endure my un-funness the whole day.... though i think i cracked her up with my seh-ness.... i said "fluck" instead of "fuck"....... i said alot of stupid things in my stupor....... trying to wake up frm my sleep...... i slept at fooking 2 plus yesterday.... couldn't sleep at all AS USUAL....i guess ppl are getting sick that i'm whining about my sleeping habits..... but i still got to whine... i feel very whiny these days.... alot of disappointments these days....... alot of things to make me whine....... and i just got back from a colleague's farewell dinner.... the food was nice........ im too tired to even blog.......

sometimes.............. i wish.......... you......... can........ pay.....more attention......... to..........me...................... im going to attract that you're going to love me more.... dote on me, protect me and shelter me from harm........... Laws of Attraction......... ATTRACT.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

been listening to alot of songs lately, and whenever i feel like skiving in the office i'll just google for lyrics to sing along.... hahah.... skiving is a form of motivation to work sometimes too.... "i'll do after my break, i'll do work after this small break, just take 5 will do"

突然好想你

詞/曲/阿信

最怕空氣突然安靜
最怕朋友突然的關心
最怕回憶 突然翻滾絞痛著 不平息
最怕突然 聽到你的消息

想念如果會有聲音
不願那是悲傷的哭泣
事到如今 終於讓自己屬於 我自己
只剩眼淚 還騙不過自己

突然好想你 你會在哪裡
過得快樂或委屈
突然好想你 突然鋒利的回憶
突然模糊的眼睛

我們像一首最美麗的歌曲
變成兩部悲傷的電影
為什麼你 帶我走過最難忘的旅行
然後留下 最痛的紀念品

我們 那麼甜那麼美那麼相信
那麼瘋那麼熱烈的曾經
為何我們還是要奔向各自的幸福和遺憾中老去

突然好想你
你會在哪裡
過得快樂或委屈
突然好想你
突然鋒利的回憶
突然模糊的眼睛

最怕空氣突然安靜
最怕朋友突然的關心
最怕回憶 突然翻滾絞痛著 不平息
最怕突然 聽到你的消息

最怕此生 已經決心自己過 沒有你 卻又突然 聽到你的消息

Monday, December 01, 2008

歌手:Twins
作曲:林俊傑填詞:何啟弘
編曲:Mickey Chen

天空下起雨了
他撐的傘在你身邊陪著
可是我不快樂
因為看見他臉上的笑 
是很勉強的

*我很想愛他 
但是眼睛在說謊 
隱瞞比較容易吧 
免得感情變的複雜
 我很想愛他
 但是理智在吵架
 退出可以解圍嗎
 誰能給我一個好的回答

*愛情是模糊的可憐的
是沒有勇氣選擇
如果再捨不得這樣下去
我們每個人都是受害者

REPEAT*當愛情陷在危險邊緣
是否都會傷痕累累
是否都會苦不堪言

REPEAT**愛情教會我們都放不下