i've been bumming around the office kindly offering my help to anyone who walks in my way........ a very kind gesture....... well i think i'm really very kind...... and hopefully i'll get good karma by doing that..... hur..... i think it feels so much worst having nothing to do, rather than having plenty of things to do........ when i have nothing to do, all i feel like doing is dozing off right infront of my miserably small laptop......

hopefully Bangkok will spice things up between us......... i think somehow or rather, our r'ship is back to square one all over again......... dull, dull, dull, boring, boring boring, tantrums and all kinds of things crop up.... maybe i'm too stressed up over piano exams and work and what not........ maybe he's too stressed up with school.... i really don't know....... we both get irritated very easily.... and i'm kinda sick of it...... especially when he talks to me in a highly impatient tone..... highly impatient, obnoxious, haughty, irritating kind of tone that's really not suitable to use when you supposedly love that someone...... i really hate it, i get really pissed, really irritated with him....... but i just try to be patient, try to swallow my pride and allow his bastardy ways.......

but please, like all of you know, and like i've mentioned many many times before..... my patience limits are not to be messed with........ please do not take advantage of this........ grrr...... for now, i'll just grind my teeth and move on with the "issue" tucked behind at the back of my head......... when i explode, you will know what will happen.

or maybe we have reached a resolution, a stage where we just really can't be bothered anymore....... everybody tells me, beware of getting "used to" each other in a long long relationship..... it'll be something that will kill your love in the end......... when meeting up becomes habitual...... when having dinner becomes habitual, when hugging becomes habitual.... even when saying those 3 letter words becomes habitual......... it'll be the end of it all......... one fine day, it'll be gone....... "habitually consumed goods are highly inelastic in demand" that's what i've learnt from school in the past....... i never knew it could be so true......

i just want to break away from the habitual routines and find something new for both of us to explore.......i just want to break free of the habits..... do something exciting.... to love you more......

oh man....... just saw the bf's sis blog........ her life is SOOOO happening ah! I wish i can be like her...... always trying out new things, always enjoying the life to the fullest, always going somewhere new........ i wish i can do that some day...... there are so so so many things i've yet to try..... like sky diving (but i'm really really afraid of heights), diving, mountain climbing, water rafting, surfing.... and the never ending list goes on...... the most important thing is trying to make it a point to go overseas AT LEAST once a year.... or if my budget allows, more than once a year would be more than wonderful..... but...... HAIZZZZzzz....... i'm stucked in this rut for another 1 and a half years...... this is so shitty........ there's really alot of frigging things i wanna do..... i just can't put words on it..... the bf's not very keen though....... i might be too adventurous for him.... hahahhaha... the boy's too timid. :P

anyway, i'm so so so looking forward to Thailand trip! i'll be away from 14th to 18th!!!! Exhilarated!

so frigging dead beat every single day............ my life's so "happening" every single day.... argh!! really so frigging tired! i dont wanna work anymore!! and work plus piano lessons aren't the best combination.....i dont want to imagine how the fuck am i going to survive the Audit Peak Period at the end of the year! guess what, my job allocation is already out till next year ok..... i shan't repeat...... or maybe i shall... i'm PACKED with job allocations. full to the brim for the months from november to March......every single bloody week, including my favourite CHINESE NEW YEAR WEEK..... fuck..... i'm so so so gonna die....... i might have to bloody muthafucking WORK on chinese new year eve........ oh fuck.... someone save me....

Wish List

1. Pair of Good shoes
2. Name card holder (buy in Thailand)
3. Skirts
4. Fancl Facial foam wash
5. Mineral Blusher

6. More Clothes

Just got my first ever pay in my life, the feeling was indescribable......... it was a crazy feeling... with many crazy impulses........ first day after my pay day and i'm already broke... hahaha... cos i got to start repaying my debts.....my bank was in a "deficit" before i started work... i don't even want to start counting how much money i spent for my work clothes..... and so, I've decided to do something about managing my expenses........, from now on, i'll try as much as i can to keep track of my expenses and make it a point to update it once every few days.... cos it's MY hard earned money now... hur....

it was until yesterday that i realised how tough it was for my dad to support the whole family for 20plus years ALONE, and just realised how heavy his burden was....... i get $15 per day for my allowance, and it amounts to around $500 per month if i include additional transport fees he gives me... and he even paid my uni school fees in hard cash...... and now, i just realised i can only give him $200/mth and my mom $100 per month......... not even close to the allowance they gave me in the past.......... haizz.......... feel quite guilty now.... feel quite "bai jia"......... shit.... i promise to return them whatever i owe as much as i can....... though they always say, you can never return what your parents give you, not even in your lifetime....

it's a fucking bloody CHORE to wake up every single morning........ never once was i willing to drag myself out of my bed...... never once was i willing to go to work....... i wonder how this can last for the rest of my life till i bloody retire..... i might just DIE...... i wanna set up a business and be my own boss..... at the very least i'll get to enjoy my own work..... rather than slogging my life out for others........ i miss school already........ after working for less than a month........ SERIOUSLY, school was WAY much better........ working life sucks..... you get no freedom, no fun, no social life and no time for boyfriend......... Those ppl who can Work Hard and Play Hard, I really admire them........ cos if i work hard, i'll have no bloody strength left to even drag myself home, much less go out and "Play"...... and really, i can't tell you how much i hate taking MRT every single day....... i might develop some kind of Train-phobia or something........ i used to love taking trains rather than buses..... but nowadays, I HATE THE FUCKING PUBLIC TRANSPORT. BF get the hint! CHAUFFEUR ME FROM WORK AND I'LL LOVE YOU TO BITS AND PIECES!

I had a terrible experience on the bloody train today.......... I decided to try a new route and take train from bukit batok mrt station instead of from my normal route from Clementi....... there was one irritating guy who kept SQUEEZING in despite the fact that the bloody train is already so crammed... in the end i was packed like a bloody sardine between 4 ppl......... wtf........ there was a melange of smells in the train....... i could smell ppl's hair, sweat smell, armpit smell, perfume and even some guy's hair cream......... there was this bloody strange sour smell that i couldn't stand.... and i don't even wanna imagine where the hell did it come from.... fucking YUCKS. ARGH. I bloody HATE THE MORNING CROWD.

hey guys! i'll be setting up another blog at http://carinez1.livejournal.com/

i'll still be using this blog, just that whenever i'm at work i'll be blogging from livejournal.... when i get back or when i have the time i'll just transfer my entries to blogger......so if u dont see me updating here often, go visit the other one, u might find some updates.......... REMEMBER i'll still be here! Just ADD ANOTHER link lah........ won't take up much of ur time.. hee

I can finally squeeze out some time to blog a little........ been rather busy this week and last week... not really due to work, but piano lessons.... i got back home around 10 plus going 11 yesterday cos i went for piano revision at admiralty... just realised it's damn far from my house can........ anyway, been the "Admin Queen" at work these few days cos everybody's been approaching me to help them do admin stuffs..... ranging from sending letters to printing and scanning and sometimes tough accounting stuff which i'm always afraid to handle......... *Sighs* this is what happens to me when i "Gie Kiang" busybody offer my help to everyone..... now everyone really comes to me whenever they need help....... shit.........

been working for almost a month now..... i'll be getting my FIRST PAY SOON!! YIPPEE!!! really can't wait...... so far, there's a lesson i've learnt....... Whatever you learn in school, REALLY APPLIES at work............ For auditing or accounting students........ REALLY everything i learnt from school, i can apply at work.... which really amazes me.... cos normally whatever shit we learnt in JC or Secondary were to me, never really important..... but those accounting things we've learnt, we really cannot forget and throw back to teachers..... i'll find someday read through my notes while i can... someday la, hahah... maybe never.. .... maybe in Sept or what... when it's super off peak...........

it's rather irritating at work sometimes, cos whenever i feel the urge to blog, i can't....... cos blogger's blocked but livejournal and wordpress are not blocked i think, yahoo mail is blocked, but hotmail's not.... friendster's blocked, facebook blocked, youtube blocked.... the only blog not blocked is Huiyee's blog!! hahaha... cos it's a website not .blogspot.com......oh yah, MSN's blocked too........ so EVERYONE in the office uses Skype.... so anyone with skype, PLEASE ADD ME at geo_a_go14@hotmail.com !!!! cos i get bored to death at work sometimes.... but when i got work to do, i get overloaded! there's this contradiction sometimes...... sometimes when i don't have any work to do, i complain that we're not given the opportunity to perform, but when i get work to do, i'll be afraid that i can't hand up my work on time, or i'll get too stumped by the difficulty of the task and have to resort to asking ppl for help......not that i'm afraid to ask for help... but normally when ppl approach me, it's cos they want me to help them so they can save time!... but letting me do the work may even extend the time cos i dont know my stuff well enough,..... *SIGHS*

anyway, if u wanna download skype, can load it from here: http://www.skype.com/intl/en/download/skype/windows/

Please download and add me so we can chat at work!! geo_a_go14@hotmail.com!

i took MC yesterday for work... was really sick, down with fever, super super runny nose, cough and sorethroat... almost died at work on monday... so i couldn't take it and took mc on tuesday.... it was considered one of the rare occasions when i took mc when i was really really sick, hahahah not geng one.... today wasn't any better.... my nose was still runny, my throat burning and my cough still wouldn't go away at work..... everything tasted like paper........

the worst thing was i forgot to ask the doctor for a non-drowsy medicine... so i couldn't have it when i was working.... if not i might end up swaying away infront of the computer.... the drowsy effect is THAT strong.... i had the medicine yesterday and it worked like a sleeping pill... slept my whole afternoon away and still could sleep at night.... almost couldn't wake up this morning....

3rd wk of work only take mc......... tsk tsk tsk.... but taking mc was SO SHIOK AH! felt so wonderful sleeping at home and taking my own sweet time doing my own things...... didn't know staying at home itself would feel so good....... and to think i'd always wanted to go out and play when i was a teenager...... tsk tsk, feel so old now i can feel my joints cracking....

anyway, i heard from my colleagues taking mc is darn easy at my company........... so tempting leh..... and SO BLOODY CHEAP! I only paid $5! i got the dono what subsidised card! so shiok... tat means no matter how much my consultation fee i only pay $5... it only made me want to take more mc ah....... hahah..... but NO!! i make it a point not to go back to my old ways......... eh, my work cannot play play leh....... got alot of deadlines to meet..... even if take mc also must hand up the assignment on time....... not schooling anymore, can anyhow anyhow.......

i think waiting for car servicing should be ranked no. 1 for time wasting. COMPLETE waste of time. fucked up. waited for like fucking 5 hrs from 10am till 3 plus and STILL havent finish yet. should have just gone home and sleep. instead we just went to the library to help the bf do his stupid work. wah lan eh. they said it'll be ready by 2pm, and it's already 3pm it's still not ready yet. we reached here by 2pm and waited for 1hr plus and they are still not done with the servicing. wah lan eh.

It was a tough week at work. plenty of files to read through, plenty of consolidations to be done. plenty of things to do. ended up having OT for almost everyday. it was my very first audit assignment and i admit i had plenty of troubles doing everything. i am VERY lucky, according to my other colleague, to have such a good auditor-in-charge for my first assignment. during her time, those auditors in charge were all crazy mad women who shout at you when they get stressed up by work. well, i'm really thankful cos my auditor in charge is really such a nice lady who teaches me every single thing with SO MUCH patience. i can ask the stupidest thing, (to them it'll really be a stupid insignificant thing but to me everything is new and significant k) but my supervisor will always answer my queries with lots and lots of patience. LUCKY me. i've got very bad memory and bad organising skills. if not for her and other patient colleagues in my team, i bet i'll screw up everything. and the thing is, it really was a very EASY assignment cos it's only a small company with 3 ppl. HAHAHAH, and i found it tough already. SHIT.

anyway, i'm loving my colleagues very much. for now. cos all of them are so warm and friendly. but my bf said he bets i'll get bullied by my seniors. we'll see about it. hur.

working life is really damn tough.... it's not about the work (yet), but it's the getting up real early and going home real late part...... it's so so so damn tiring..... i need my more-than-8-hours sleep everyday... but now, i think 8 hrs of sleep already considered a luxury.... i suddenly miss the school's handmade noodles... *sighs*

and i think working will make me blind.... my eyes get so so so tired after staring at the comp in a daze the whole day... anyway, this shall me the last blog post of the week.... cos working makes me stay away from the comp when i get home... hur...

i feel so so so so drained out now i already feel like quitting my job....... but too bad, the contract's signed and im locked in....... i'm like so fucking tired every single day i feel like sleeping in the office........ point is, i CAN sleep in the office cos basically i've been bumming around with nothing to do for the past 2 days.... it's really sickening cos u look like an idiot at the "hotdesk" where everyone's so busy with their work.... it's really called the "hotdesks" cos as audit associates (the most most junior in the company), we are not allocated seats... so we hafta go earlier to book the seats, if not we'll end up very far away from the ppl.....

but i've been always late anyway, for 5-10mins everyday... but i dont care lah... i just squeeze in and try to share seats with them.... i've been very very very tired cos i've been sleeping at 1 plus and waking up at 6.45am everyday... and i always have something on after work, so by the time i reach home it'll be like 9plus like NOW. (yep, i just reached home from piano lesson).... Tuesday after work i went for the Tuba gathering at Swensens.... Wed met up with the bf for dinner at Botak Jones (it still sucks except for the Whoopass fries), Today, i had to go piano lesson till 8.30... and i took cab home.... finally cannot take it anymore, i HAD TO take cab home... my legs are SOOOO DAMN BLISTERED by the fucking new heels......... and i'm so tired and lazy to take bus.....

so broke..... din realise i've got to work till the end of the month before i get my FIRST PAY. gosh.

work has been quite ok so far... nothing to do except for today... today was rather "challenging" cos i VOLUNTEERED myself to do work for my senior ok.... it was SUPPOSED to be quite easy lah, doing Profit and loss accounts and Balance sheets, BUT it took me like 3 hrs to complete.... feel so loserish... cos the fucking numbers cannot tally... and she said DIE DIE must tally.... tat's what i hate about accounting.... you can spend 5 hrs finding out the real answer and realise that the answer was actually very easy to get.... other than the work, my colleagues are mostly wonderful ppl.... i get to lunch with different ppl every single day cos there's SO MANY ppl there and everyone goes lunch with each other, everybody knows each other..... the lunch part has always been fun.....

today, i was brought to a chocolate confectionary shop near my office... DAMN COOL AH!!! they sell all the Hot chocolate satches which taste DAMN NICE!... they very clever hor, put a chocolate shop there to tempt all the office ladies.... can make hot chocolate in office and satsify the ladies' sweet tooths.... and they sell the weirdest kind of chocolates.... Tomato chocolates, durian chocolates and mango chocolates.... all tasted damn nice ah....so tomorrow i'll be bringing my cup there to make my hot chocolate in office! yay! and they got Julie biscuits in the office.... my favourite...... free one....

so far colleagues all nice except the stupid IT ppl.... the IT ppl really damn hot tempered.... can't stand them..... pui...... but they know we can't live without them.... and we really can't live without them... hahha... all sure die if they quit together...