Monday, January 28, 2008

i know sometimes maintaining relationships are hard, but i didn't know it would be THIS HARD.



i feel so tired with every single breath that i take, short haggard breaths. so tired. so so so tired. everytime he does that, my heart just aches. everytime he does that, my heart just wounds. everytime it's over, the protective layer around my heart just gets thicker, in a faint effort to prevent it from hurting anymore. but it still hurts. maybe someday, it wont hurt anymore. maybe someday, the protective layer around it will build up so thick, so so thick, it wont hurt anymore. it wont even feel anything anymore. everything done unto it will not be felt, will not be taken into heart, will not love, will not feel, will not care, anymore. i feel so drained. drained of any energy. i feel pain, i feel everything. how i wish i will not feel anymore.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

haizz...................... been so so so so so busy...... ya i'm busy everyday k, i've got no hols to enjoy..... except for those long long weekends when public holidays falls on Tuesdays.........miss those wkends.... wkends mostly either spent on going chalets, or boat-ing with the bf and gang at punggol park, or bowling, or late night suppers, or JB blah blah blah.......... and the list goes on and never ends........... the problem with such entertainments, one big major problem: deficiting of the moolahs real real real fast.......... not like i dont like such gatherings, or entertainments or whatever u call these never-ending-hanging-outs..... it's so fun, but but but!!!! no money how to have fun?!!!


sometimes, i just feel like staying at home ALL DAY, and doing NOTHING... it'll be a complete satisfaction, a complete rest for me physically and mentally..... shall be resting my brains this thursday doing NOTHING k.......... hey, tat's the ONLY day so far that i've got no school, no tuition, nothing. i need that kinda rest. need. desperate to want to stay home. desperate to open up my skull and take out my brains and lay it to rest on my softy pillow doing nothing, encase it in a glass box or something. i am that tired. really.


oh yah, i've taken up a new hobby (expensive one though)..... modifying boats and playing remote controlled boats at punggol park.... cost my bf a bomb, he paid for everything..... including my materials to transform my white boat into a pink one.... hahaha..... yep, we sprayed paint our boats, did some stencils on the boat and pasted some stickers...... our boats look completely different now.... and damn pretty! will put up the pics some day..... NO TIME LAH....


so dead tired now, just got back from lessons.......... had lessons this morning too, from 8.30-11.30am, and went for lessons at 7pm-10pm...... make up lesson for thurs, if not thurs i can never never be free.... haiz....... brain dead.............