10 ways to kiss..

1 - ICE KISS
Celebrate the first day of winter with an ice kiss. Put an ice cube in your mouth until your mouth becomes cold. Remove the cube, track down your love and plant a kiss that will send chills!



- 2 - ELECTRIC SHOCK KISS
The two of you shuffle your feet furiously on carpet. When you both have an electric charge, lean over and slowly aim for each other's lips. With your lips about one-half inch apart, move in even slower until a spark jumps between teh two of you. Instantly after this happens, kiss one another...the please us the kiss right after the shock!


- 3 - CAMPING KISS
On a beautiful cool night, you and your love crawl into a sleeping bag outside. Cuddle and kiss.


- 4 - REWARD KISS
Next time your love performs some disliked home chore like cleaning the bathroom, mowing the lawn, or taking out the garbage, show your appreciation by tucking a candy kiss in a strategic location.


- 5 - POST-IT KISS
Use 3M Post-It notes to make a trail through your house that leads to your lips. Put a lipstick print or lip symbol on each note with an arrow pointing to the next note. You, of course, are at the end of the trail with a Post-It note over your lips that says, "LIFT FOR KISS"


- 6 - KISSING IN THE RAIN
The next time it rains, grab an umbrella, rain coats, and your love. Then go outside and kiss in the rain. If the spirit of the kiss moves you, remove the umbrella and kiss 'till the two of you are soaked.


- 7 - HERSHEY`S KISSES
Prepare a small bag of Hershey`s kisses and slip it into your love's purse, briefcase, or lunchbox. Attach a note that reads "SORRY, I CAN'T BE THERE IN PERSON, BUT THINK OF ME AND DO THE FOLLOWING: Close your eyes and place the candy between your lips. Drop the candy in your mouth and roll it on your tongue until it melts.


- 8 - TRACY AND HEPBURN KISS
Make flash cards, and the two of you re-enact the following kissing scene from WOMAN OF THE YEAR


(1942): (Reclining face to face on a couch, woman on top.) SAM: Something I've got to get off my chest.
TESS: I'm too heavy?
SAM: I love you.
TESS: Me, too.
SAM: Positive.
TESS: That's nice. Even when I'm sober?
SAM: Even when you're brilliant. (The two of you kiss.)


- 9 - KISSES IN A BALLOON
Cut out small red tissue lips, and place them inside an opaque balloon filled with helium (any party store could do this for you) Tie the balloon to your love's chair at dinner. Desert is a shower of kisses delivered by a sharp pin.


- 10 - TOLL KISS
Next time you are driving your love somewhere, stop the car before crossing a bridge or going through a tunnel, and say the toll must be paid before you can go any further. Of course, the toll cost in one kiss

I miss you.


I miss your warm eyes,
the way you listened and cared.
I miss your kisses
and all that we shared.


I miss you.


I miss the touch of your hand,
so reassuring and sincere,
and the moments we spent together,
that I hold dear.


I miss you.


I miss all of the caring
things you did,
and spending the evening
alone with you.


I miss you.


I look forward to tomorrow
knowing that then,
I'll be one day closer
to seeing you again.


note all the Ds.

YUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD. WTF. I just read Melissa's blog and JUST KNEW james and evonne made out in the classroom
?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUH???? wat the fuck??????? and someone filmed down the entire thing? HUH??? OEIIIIIIIII lynnette rachel whoever!! how come u guys never tell me???????? Mel said when she announced it to the class u guys gave them the duh i knew it long ago look like it happened century ago!! *feels damn ba gua* my god. i can't imagine. i don't want to. my god. quote from mel. they are the highest form of geekdom ever. argh! *feels bad abt ba guaing, but. it's so truly unbelievable, so yucks*


and i read baoyue's blog too. i'm pissed at that girl for doing that to yue. i'm pissed at whoever passer-by is who told baoyue that she shouldn't be a green eyed MONSTER. who is she to tell yue that she shud trust her bf. yue's just saying she's pissed at tat girl wat, she din say she's pissed at her bf wat. it's morally wrong to put on a blog to say she think she has a place in someone else's bf's heart. ya, i know it's not wrong to say u are in love with wif someone who has a gf. but it's just wrong to put it up publicly that u even tHINK other ppl's bf likes you!!!! yue's not the one behaving like a green eyed monster!!! TAT GIRL IS THE ONE LOR!!! wtf. i'm pissed at something that is non of my business. wat the hell. bleh.

hmmm.. got this from baoyue's blog who got it frmo QQ's blog.. my bf shud read this.

"Couples who do not refrain from premarital sex are not likely to refrain from extramarital sex. Sexual attitudes are not likely to change after marriage. If people engage in sex before marriage, they are more likely to compare, suspect, cheat on their partners, and have subsequent sex partners"

@ when only intimacy (feelings of the warmth of emotional bonding, willingness to share private thoughts with one's beloved) is present, it's friendship(liking).

@ when only passion (physical attraction and desires for sexual involvement) is present, it is infatuation.

@ In a long term relationship where there is no passion or intimacy, it's empty love.

@ In a long term relationship where there is intimacy and commitment (concious decision to be faithful in the long term regardless of the circumstances), it's compassionate love.

@ when someone hero-worships from afar, it's fatuous(lusty) love.

@ when there is passion and intimacy with no commitment, it's romantic love.

@ The most fulfilling type of love has all three components, and Sternberg calls it consummate love.
so what do you think?~ what are you looking out for?~ is it now a better definition for everybody?~

i can't even meet my frens now. he got pissed cos i met them. maybe he's just not happy he's inside PA while i'm outside. he keeps thinking i'm having fun out there but it's really not. how i wish i'm inside PA wif him now rather than suffering loneliness and fucks out here. he just dun understand my plight now. i have so many things to do and i haven't even started doing anything. prelims is 2weeks time and i haven't done even 1/99 of things that i should have done. he's just so selfish. he just wont talk to me. whenever he does that to me i just end up with sleepless nights and more sleepless nights. and i won't be able to do anything. how pathetic can i be. why must he do this to me.


he got pissed at my blog too. god knows why. he's just not happy i miss my frens. and so suay he only read the 1st page when i wrote abt my frens. he din read many many pages back where i wrote ALL abt him. rachel, lynn, sam, u all should know right. it was all abt him right. my memories go BACKWARDS lor, i think about the most recent things first before i think abt the most past right. that's why i wrote everything on my blog in chronological order right. i think abt him first then it set me going on thinking back to my sec days right. and when i start recalling my memories i can't stop.


why can't he understand that i'm thinking abt my memories cos i'm lonely, fucking lonely. if i dun think abt my memories then what else can i think of? wat else can i do? No rachel, dun tell me i can study instead, cos i can't. i tried but really can't. i can't help it but keep 'wallowing in tears'. or 'wallowing in my memories'. watever.


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THE WORLD LAH!

hubby just comes in and out of my life during weekends.. in between.. i've got no life at all to start with.. but he will always be on my mind.. hubby i miss you.. again..

Really FUCK FACE. everytime he comes my hse he just gives me the fuck face.

yes.. finally waited till tml.. can see him again..

Singapore idol turned out to be better than i expected.. i thought those contestants will be nothing compared to those ang moh idols.. but i was wrong.. they had at least some quality to compare with. or compare to? timdore, correct me. my english's really getting shitty nowadays. i can't even spell anymore. what the fuck.

anyway, i was really impressed by the 'butch' in S'pore Idol, her song really 'swayed' me. but i sort of wished she wouldn't get in so Florence can cut her hair infront of everyone. haiz, pity.

sian...................... lonely and only more lonely..... hubby you will come and look at my blog right? you promised remember? i know u will come and see my blog.. i know.. i hope...

really miss u alot.. really..

The Great Escape

Just reached home after doing econs test... tired..

was damn happening.. me and lynn had great fun escaping from LT1 after econs test. but was bloody suay to get caught by Mr NG who screamed for us to stop and asked us to see him tml. BUT while we were on our way out of sch, we saw mr ng again. haiz. really suay right. but thank god he din scold us. our excuses were quite lame. "i got econs tuition later" "today's my bro's death anniversary". she shocked me when she said that. i think Mr Ng too. that's why he din scold us. just sarcastically said "ya ya ya". bahahhahaha.

feels great to feel the excitement of pontenging/escaping in JJ. cos life's just so boring there. not happening at all.

HISTORY....

I'm doing this in case i become senile one day and forget all the happenings during my school life... which i wanna remember for the rest of my life.. i'm becoming more and more detached from my memories, they seem to be floating away from me. i must get them back. i want some memories to lay back on when i become old and lonely. (familiar right.. "Winter" :P )

Primary school: Pei Hwa Presbytarian Primary School

P1 to P3: 1a,2a,3a.

was always teased and qi fu by my classmates.

including mabel who constantly said i was ugly till my mum and her mum quarrelled over this.

reason: according to my mum, si hui was jealous of me as her mum always compared her studies and everything with me.

yes, astonishing but i joined chinese dance from P1 to P3.

led very stressed life. started learning arts and crafts, piano, violin, ballet, swimming, phonics classes and hanyupin yin classes. on top of that, had tuition for all subjects.

P4 to P6: 4a, 5a, 6a.

Streamed to EM1, led a very stressed life. continued arts and crafts, piano, swimming but dropped violin, ballet, phonics classes and hanyupinyin classes. dropped phonics and hanyu cos i finished the syllabus.. haiz.

started learning abacus, finished learning abacus. finished swimming course. bronze to life saving 1. started life saving 2 but dropped. cos had to jump the tall tall board. scared. thus din really get the life save 1 and 2 certs but completed courses.

joined school swimming team, came in 6 for west zone.

met my other best friends: pamela, jasmine, yushan. called ourselves crystals. all 4 of us learnt piano and thus, gave us the inspiration to compose our own songs.

i was the youngest there and was very well taken care of. Pam even fought with a guy who teased me. was the baby of the group... missed those days.. we never quarrelled ever before.. those were the days..

BUT: met bad friends. thought me to smoke. was smoking for a couple of mths. grades became so much worst. grades were not up to my mum's expectations who wanted me to go nanyang. ended up going neighbourhood sch instead.

Sec one: 1999
It all started with a crush on mitch and vel's crush on jeff.

+ led us to gate crash mitch's Christmas party at Jurong Kechil. not really gate crash lah, we "happened" to be there on purpose and kumar saw us and invited us in.

+ our friendship started from then on. everyday, me and vel would "accidentally" always be near them and they will always invite us to join them for dinner as a big group.

+ everything went on smoothly and finally we became an even bigger group

Sec 2: 2000
We went fishing one day and caught our own crabs and fish and cooked ourselves a meal with those at anthony's hse. JJAM D KAVE JACKS were formed.

Started going jamming with them. went night cycling.

had a chalet. that was when Anthony did things to annie and after the chalet did things with karin.

that was also when kumar started liking me.

Participated in Band competition as Auxillory percussion player.

sec3: 2001
got together with kumar.

broke up with kumar.

one of my last night cycling with them, that thing happened to me.

another thing happened to me. diagnosed with benign brain tumour.

took medication for half a year. recovered.

quarrelled with vel and for a few mths, bestfriend was Zhi Hui. whom asked me to try smoking. but we only smoked a couple of sticks. was just trying. again.

Participated in NDP as Tuba player.

sec4: 2002

Participated in Band comp as Tuba section leader.

started liking neil.

stopped liking neil.

got to know hubby. started msging each other. started calling each other. talked for hrs on the phone. and finally first met at lot1,

second meeting at causeway point to buy present for Syam.

subsequently went nature park with him. took rides on his bike in awkward position, not daring to hug him.

went cck park with him during lantern festival period. the 1st time he asked me to be his gf but i rejected him. bahahhaha..

after that regretted and i msged him asked him be my bf. no shame. heh...

finally got together on 1st October 2002.

Econs test is tml and i haven't even started doing anything. i haven even study yet! i intend to bring some notes in somehow........... don't even know if mr ng got lie to us or not.. he said we're going to mark our own work tml.. it'll be too good to be true ifg it's really like that. then can anyhow do. bahahah. argh. miss you.

I miss the laughs i used to get from you

I miss the talks we used to have

I miss the way that you make me smile

And above all this...

I really miss you..

We used to be together.. so happy together

we used to be such very good friends,

oh why must our friendship end?

our good times together,

i'll always remember,

we used to be such very good friends

why did our friendship end?

The times we had i'll never forget

the times we shared i'll never regret

i'll never forget how you hurt me so,

you turned from my friend to my foe..........

JJAM D KAVE JACKS

Once upon a time.. i had a group of friends who named ourselves JJAM D KAVE JACKS. and friends... we're a damn big group, with totally different kinds of individuals.

J=Jeffrey, was a leader of our big group. a tall, not so handsome guy, who plays the lead guitar of our JJAM band. an egoistic person. but he and I have something against each other and we're always at logger heads.

J=Jiarong, our drummer. one of my best pal, a person whose like a sister to me. Very very bagua. humble person who likes to joke a lot. takes really good care of me last last time...

A=Anthony. fucker. Was a very very good pal of mine. almost replaced Vel for my best friend. he's really really a good friend to have. loyal. one whom u can share ur woes and happiness with. but is a fucker. he's a really really bad bf to have. dono why, maybe it's cos of his loyalty to frens, he's got lots of admirers. but tat doesn't include me. he flirts. he's a fucker. many girls got conned by him. i'm one of them. conned as in........ m.. girls. haiz. i was stupid. really stupid. bass guitarist.

M=Mitchell, also another lead guitarist. emotional, egoistic. WAS my crush very very long time ago. an eurasian.. but he's got a weird chinese name. mai jian ren. bahahahhaha..

now to those non JJAM members, as in they dun really jam wif them.

D=Daniel, an angel.... lovable.. really an angel who always have the best temper. takes good care of us girls.

K=Karin. we call her K slut. actually, she's already out of the picture. she and anthony had a thing behind everyone's back when kumar, mitch and daniel all had a crush on her. and when anthony was with annie. that's why i said anthony's a fucker. and it's more than that.

A=Annie, one of the few girls whom i've seen to have such perserverance for love.. she had a crushed on Anthony for like 3 years. got cheated by him.

V=Velveta, my best friend. emotional. very. ang moh. loves italians more than anything else.

E=Elsie, cute petite girl.

J=Jason, bad tempered, very talented guy who really can play piano damn well if he had continued. Also a guitarist.

A=Adam, a malay, was our drum major. fit, quite good looking.

C=Carine. ME of cos.

K=Kumar. my ex, always at logger heads with me. always anti me. bloody bad tempered. an indian ah beng.

S=Shimin, a very cheena guy who can't speak very well. always stutter.. can't blame him cos his parents are both mute and deaf. he always get qi fu by ppl of jjam.

Other frens of jjam...... most are all mitchell's eurasian cousins.. neil cheah.. haha my ex crush, jeremy d silvia, charles d silvia. brenda, michelle, chinhui....

i'm writing all these in case i forget them......................... i think i will..

we had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun. night cycling.. fishing.. having a major "meeting" in the middle of the night.. cos of that fucker. was always what we did.

i should say more abt that fucker. he molested girls. i think most of us were stupid to be cheated by his so called "friend" front. i was stupid. after night cycling i went to his hse to stay. which wasn't the first time already. it wasn't the first time i went to his hse, so i thought it was ok. well he touched me ah. i dun wanna elaborate. it happened to a lot of girls too. before me, and after me. but. he was really a very good friend.

these are all exciting parts of my life.. which i sometimes hate.. but sometimes like to go back to.. think of how stupid i was. or think of how much fun i had with my friends..

I really hate the kind of life i'm leading right now.. it's really damn unproductive.. i'm just trying to live each day by sleeping thru most of it. i'm not doing my hw, i'm not studying, i dun have my bf around, i'm not going out. i'm doing nothing. how i really wish to quit school now. how i really wish i can just get married and be a tai tai for the rest of my life. just shop shop shop or take care of children. i dun even mind slogging and working for the rest of my life. i know they will come soon. but i just hope they come sooner, so i can just stop studying forever. i think i might regret when i say this. cos that's adults always say 'the best parts of our lives are when we are studying, cherish ur studying days now. cos working will be the worst parts of your lives.'

i don't know about that, but i really feel that life now is really fuck. i just spent my weekend 'nuahing' at my bf's hse. like i always did. even during weekdays when i'm at home, i still nuah. even during weekends i also nuah. what the fuck do i want? how i wish for the good old days. when i pon sch like nobody's business, when both of us cook ourselves lunchs at his hse. how we used to overfry our eggs and luncheon meat. how we used to quarrel abt who's going to be the maincook and whose gonna be the dishwasher. all these days might be gone forever. after my A levels, i will have to move on to another part of my life. working. i dun think i will even have time to cook lunches. i dun think i can even pon work. He will also be still serving NS and working 8 to 5. but i think it'll at least be better than now where i can only see him for like twice a wk. the time he spends with his campmates is so much more than his time spent wif me.

i'm really seriously sick of my dull, stagnant, boring life now. or should i say NO LIFE.

SORRY BY WILLIAM SU

Sorry.. i'm really sorry..

我又一次你气哭在陌生街头

爱你..我当然爱你..

自从第一眼到现在什至没人敢预测的将来

请你相信不是我不愿意改变我自己

而是一再努力又一再放弃那个软弱的自己

其实我恨透了我自己, 没有认输的勇气

让你受尽了不安和委屈

你是我这一生这一生最最最害怕去伤害到的人

也是我这一生这一生唯一能让我安定下来的人

虽然我并没有并没有并没有一身温纯的灵魂

但是我很愿意很愿意做那个永远照顾你的人

我的爱人请听, 我有颗不善言语的心

只能够看着你远处的背影

This was the song which he sang to me during kbox.. i was so touched.. because for once.. i could

really feel that he loves me.. (i hope).. cos when he sang this he was looking at me constantly..

when he sang: 也是我这一生这一生唯一能让我安定下来的人, i seriously believed him..

wholeheartedly.. i was so bloody touched.. but everytime we quarrelled.. my heart always

shattered, and left scars on my heart... never to be mended again.. cos he always repeatedly dig

those scars up.............. haizzzZZZzz... i'm really sorry too hubby.. maybe it everytime we

quarrelled it's all my fault.. i feel like a pathetic loser by saying this.. but i can't seem to be angry

with him for long..

what the hell lah.. the most important thing now for me is to concentrate on my studies!! what

the fuck am i doing thinking all these nonsense for? i can't concentrate on my studies at all!!! i

can't help it! i feel like breaking down and cry my whole heart out. i just need a shoulder for me

to cry on. now. not wait till weekends for his shoulders. i'm not blaming him for not being here.. i

know i just have to be strong now. and wait till weekends to break down into his 怀抱... and just

be a little crybaby of his.. and cry my guts out..

Blog...

will my bf ever ever ever read my blog?.. i really wanted to start studying today.. really wanted to.. and all i did was read that stupid england england and touched one tiny teensy bit of perfect competition. WAT THE FUCK. i spent the whole day diarrheaing.. or watever it's spelt. i can't spell nowadays. my english's getting bad to worst or worse? fuck. ARGH. KNN LAH. Hokkien seems more familiar to me. wo yao du shu!!!!!!!! i must get my engine going again!!! i can't rot like this everyday i can't always sleep! i must refrain myself from sleeping so much everyday. it's really bad for my health and studies. more sleep= less studying time but = less distractions cos of bf. i wouldn't feel so tempted to call or msg him everyday if i sleep... i've been coughing like mad the whole day and it just won't stop. this really suck. argh.

life passes everyday just waiting for his calls/msgs.

Blog...

will my bf ever ever ever read my blog?.. i really wanted to start studying today.. really wanted to.. and all i did was read that stupid england england and touched one tiny teensy bit of perfect competition. WAT THE FUCK. i spent the whole day diarrheaing.. or watever it's spelt. i can't spell nowadays. my english's getting bad to worst or worse? fuck. ARGH. KNN LAH. Hokkien seems more familiar to me. wo yao du shu!!!!!!!! i must get my engine going again!!! i can't rot like this everyday i can't always sleep! i must refrain myself from sleeping so much everyday. it's really bad for my health and studies. more sleep= less studying time but = less distractions cos of bf. i wouldn't feel so tempted to call or msg him everyday if i sleep... i've been coughing like mad the whole day and it just won't stop. this really suck. argh.

life passes everyday just waiting for his calls/msgs.

blog,

i miss him. i really miss him. alot. it's hell sian without him. i'm going crazy.. i've got no life. and i'm not even making full use of his absence to go and study. i can't study when he's around and i can't study when he's not around. what the fuck do i want? i'm just rotting my life away. i suck. when i see rachel studying so hard i can't help feeling guilty. for that moment. but when i get home. i just kept thinking 'i will study tml, i will study tml. i really will.' but tomorrow came and went and i did NOTHING. haiz.

Do you often cry in front of people or alone
it depends right.

::Have your friends ever seen you cry
nope.

:: Have you cried today
nope.

:: Do you usually cry for a long time
when i do cry.. yes

:: Do you get really red when you cry
yes

:: Have you ever cried because you were happy
never.

:: Have you ever been someone's "crying shoulder"
nope. haha.. ppl think i dun ever cry

:: Have you ever hugged someone because they were crying
er... nope.. when they cry i will be so damn scared dono what to do i think i will just walk away. i suck rite. so much for a friend.

:: Have you ever had a shoulder to cry on
nope.. i only cry into the arms of my bf.. not shoulders.. and only him.

:: Have you been hugged when you cried
yes.by my bf only lor...

:: Do you cry during movies
very very seldomly.. unless i'm wif my bf or i'm alone.

:: Do you cry while reading books
NO!! OF COS NOT!

:: Does music make you cry
sometimes!

:: Have you ever been called a cry baby
sometimes.. by my bf.. only. if any of my frens call me a cry baby i might box them.

:: Have you ever tried to stop yourself from crying:
most of the time. when there's ppl around me.

:: Does this survey make you want to cry?
SIAO AH!

:: Have you ever cried over a guy/girl
yes of cos. though not often. i often cry cos of my bf. haiz.

:: Do you cry when you are physically hurt
NO. NEVER.

:: Do you cry when you are scared
Nope. i will just go to sleep. ok maybe once. when my bf met with accident.

:: Do you cry when you are mad
yes, often. angry tears. but just cos of my bf.

:: Do you cry over bad grades?
nope. but i hope not. i just get damn depressed that's all.

:: Have you ever cried over spilled milk
yes.

:: Can you make yourself cry
no ah of cos not. i hate to cry lor. ok maybe yes. is tearing after yawning considered?

:: When was the last time you cried
when i quarrelled with my bf last week. it was hell.

:: Have you ever cried because you were sad for someone else
er no... am i that bad?

:: Do you have a favorite crying quote
don't cry in front of me, i'll slap u. hahahahah, but i never do that.

:: Have you ever cried for anyone who wouldn't cry for you
once again, sadly yes.

:: Do you ever cry on anniversaries of things?
nope.

:: Do you cry over someone you love becoz they have a gf/bf?
No.

::When was the last time u felt love and u cried?
yes.. when my bf sang 'sorry' by su yong kang in k box just dedicated for me. he din know, but a tear rolled down my cheek.

::Who is the person you always cry for?
my bf ah.. haiz..

:: Will you cry because this survey is over:
SIAO AH! THIS SURVEY IS DAMN LAME

he looks better in this pic..

Stars of 03A2

Drama festival

couple of 03A2

i'm so damn fat..

hmmm.. this was damn long ago..

wo ai ni..

The Four Candles burned slowly.
Their Ambiance was so soft, you could hear them speak...

The first candle said,
"I Am Peace, but these days, nobody wants to keep me lit." Then Peace's
flame slowly diminishes and goes out completely.

The second candle says,
"I Am Faith, , but these days, I am no longer indispensable." Then Faith's
flame slowly diminishes and goes out completely.

Sadly the third candle spoke,
"I Am Love, "People put me aside and don't understand my importance. They
even forget to love those who are nearest to them." And waiting no longer,
Love goes out completely.

Suddenly...
A child enters the room and sees the three candles no longer burning.
The child begins to cry,"Why are you not burning? You are supposed to stay
lit until the end."

Then the Fourth Candle spoke gently to the young child,
"Don't be afraid, for I Am Hope, and while I still burn, we can re-light the
other candles."

With Shining eyes the child took the Candle of Hope and lit the other three
candles. Peace Faith Love!

Never let the Flame of Hope go out of your life.
With Hope, no matter how bad things look and are...
Peace, Faith and Love can Shine Brightly in our lives.
Hope, Faith, Peace and Love !!!

Dear Blog
I feel guilty about bitching. real guilty.

haiz.. i've been bitching about someone all week long and i feel so damn guilty. this part of my blog hopefully

wont be seen i dont think anyone will be so clever to think of this. HEHEHE. and the prob is, i told the whole

world about tat person. anyway i din tell the whole world lor. don't know how hell news got around so fast. but! i

told annie and gary and tiffi they all eh..... how.... shouldn't have done that. if words get around to that

person i'll be dead.

Dear Blog,

I believe Love is FUCK. I hate him. I'm serious. I've never hated someone so intensely before. i really hate him to the core. I don't even know if i have a bf or not. He doesn't call me, doesn't msg me. even if he replies, his msgs are all one liners. he said he always see my fucking msgs every morning. Fuck msgs. HA. FUck msgs. those msgs came out right from my heart, telling him how much i miss him. those msgs are my everyday life. to him, it's all fuck. no one knows how fucking sad i am now. except maybe only sam, he's the only one who will read this blog. my fucking bf wont. my frens wont. i'm just so angry i don't know how to express myself. love is blind. how apt. i think i'm blinded by love so much that i can stand his kind of behaviour.

i think his love for me is fading. to a large extent. and fast. he used to call me baby everytime. he used to give me a peck on my cheek when he gets the chance. he used to msg me everyday whenever he's free. not now. i know he's busy in camp. but he do get free time everytime and i know it. but he doesn't use the time to msg me. he just uses the time to WAIT for my calls and msgs. 'you call me ah, you call me ah'. that's what he always puts in msgs, he just waits and expects me to call him. im trying so damn hard not to sound pathetic. not to look pathetic. but i just can't fucking stop myself from calling him!!! and everytime i calls him he WONT FUCKING PICK UP HIS CALLS!!! AND HE SAID HE'LL BE ALWAYS FREE AFTER 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK! FUCK!!!!

i really dont know what to say about him i really don't! either he doesn't give a damn or HE JUST DOESNT GIVE A FUCK LAH!! CHEE BYE LAH!!

ANYONE KNOW HOW MISERABLE I AM NOW!! NO ONE KNOWS. EVEN HE DOESNT KNOWS!!! guess what. i msged him 12 msgs. and all he replied was. 'then what you want now'. i told him i was sorry. i told him i miss him alot. and he replies that. anyone can tell me what does he mean by that?

i'm going to do something tomorrow that i have never ever done before. that i couldn't do. but i think i can tml. i'm going to put my phone in my drawer tml. not going to bring it to sch. he will be booking out tml. but i dont wanna meet him. i wont pick up his calls i wont reply his msgs. i'm just going to town on my own till night. FUCK LAH! go town also go and find a bag for him!! how fucking pathetic am i!! CHEEBYE KNN.
his every knit of eyebrows affect me
his every movements kill me
his lack of concern and care makes me only msg him more
his lack of msgs and calls makes me calls him more
he is making me so fucking pathetic
i'm not trying to sound poetic here
i'm just pissed.

I FEEL FUCK

DEAR BLOG!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE HIM TO THE CORE!!!! FUCKER!! ASSHOLE!! KNN CCB!!!! FUCK!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm feeling so damn fucking suay cos of him! some girls jioed me to 璋�CK. The whole world was crowding around them all staring cos they were making such a din. and they chose ME to confront. nothing better to do than choose me. FUCK lah. Then when some security guards came they went off and told me if i wanna stare if i wanna fight i can ask my friends to go with me to the street soccer court near westmall to find them. as if i got anything better to do. i din want to go at first, BUT MY BF HAD TO MAKE ME SO FUCKING ANGRY. so i went. alone. but they weren't there. Thank god. so damn fucking suay. FUCK FUCK FUCK CHAO CHEE BYE LA!

i feel like showing this to my bf

Rough idea of the pillow case i made for hubby

Dear blog,

I miss the times when he patted me to slp,
I miss the times when he whispered sweet nothings into my ears,
I miss the times when i laid on his laps and he always bends down to kiss me,
I miss tat time we went cck park for the 1st time and we got so embarrassed,

I miss the times when we slept in nature park wondering if there were ghosts around us,
I miss the period when both of us thought we won't quarrel forever and even wanted to screenplay an argument for the fun of it,
I miss the times when we chatted late into the nite till i had to go sch in an hrs' time,
I miss the nice feeling of holding hands the 1st time, the surprise i got.
I miss those times when i sat behind him on his greenblack bike and the wind was blowing across my face,and when i hugged him from behind, i felt tat it was the best feeling in the world.

now i miss him so much, even though i get to see him, and i will miss him, even when i'm right beside him, cos he just doesn't seem to old hubby anymore. maybe i think too much. or maybe it's the truth, it's reality, we are not us anymore.

and now i miss him, cos i can't see him, i miss him more, cos he's doing this to me. he won't talk to me nicely, he won't msg me nicely.

blog, do u know i'm feeling so depressed now i can die? i miss my hubby, i miss my old frens!! i miss my old life! i miss those great and even sad times i had with my frens! i miss going nite cycling with jjam! i miss going band practices with jjam! i miss going on outings with them! i miss going fishing with them! i miss going bbq and listening everyone sing to the guitar of mitch! i miss so many things in my life! i want my old hubby back, i also want my old frens back! i want them both!! i know i'm greedy and i know i can never have my frens back. my only hope is on hubby now. hubby, pls, come back.

THE ANGST IN ME

Dear Blog,

THE ANGST IN ME IS BURING AND BURSTING TO COME OUT TO EXPLODE!

I hate my bf! why doesn't he care at all! WHY!! He din talk to me the whole day! cos of something so pathetically stupid! He doesn't care how i feel he doesn't show his care anymore! ppl tell me cos he thinks that i know him so well already so there's no need to show. but i dun believe that ppl in relationships are not supposed to show each other care after so long! tat's the fucking prob!! ppl are supposed to show even more love and care when they are together for so long cos they know each other well and are supposed to literally feel and be in their shoes in everything they do and are supposed to even care more!!!!!

Dear Blog..

I will be able to see my hubby in about 13hrs time.. can't wait.. haven't seen him for 11days... miss him like dono what..... missed him every pico seconds.. thought of msging him every other minute... thought about calling him every 3seconds... haizZZZz...... HUBBY I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!

skyline

Footies..

me..

love is really blind...

love is blind... 

I MISS MY HUBBY...

Dear blog,

sorry for not posting for so long.. but i also know ppl will never ever look at my blog... so anyway.. dammit.. miss my bf.. really miss him sOOOoooOOO much.. but he's sometimes too much. Yes, even when he's in the army. He dun call me baby anymore... out of the many msgs he msged me, he only called me by "baby" twice. which is damn fucking less.. i'm so disappointed in him. The once happy 'honeymoon' period was long gone. I miss the old hubby. i miss the way he caressed my hair, i miss the way he hugs me when i was slping. i miss the way he bends down to kiss me when i'm lying on his lap. i miss him now, but this 'miss' is different from that 'miss' if u know what i mean.