Dear Blog,

I believe Love is FUCK. I hate him. I'm serious. I've never hated someone so intensely before. i really hate him to the core. I don't even know if i have a bf or not. He doesn't call me, doesn't msg me. even if he replies, his msgs are all one liners. he said he always see my fucking msgs every morning. Fuck msgs. HA. FUck msgs. those msgs came out right from my heart, telling him how much i miss him. those msgs are my everyday life. to him, it's all fuck. no one knows how fucking sad i am now. except maybe only sam, he's the only one who will read this blog. my fucking bf wont. my frens wont. i'm just so angry i don't know how to express myself. love is blind. how apt. i think i'm blinded by love so much that i can stand his kind of behaviour.

i think his love for me is fading. to a large extent. and fast. he used to call me baby everytime. he used to give me a peck on my cheek when he gets the chance. he used to msg me everyday whenever he's free. not now. i know he's busy in camp. but he do get free time everytime and i know it. but he doesn't use the time to msg me. he just uses the time to WAIT for my calls and msgs. 'you call me ah, you call me ah'. that's what he always puts in msgs, he just waits and expects me to call him. im trying so damn hard not to sound pathetic. not to look pathetic. but i just can't fucking stop myself from calling him!!! and everytime i calls him he WONT FUCKING PICK UP HIS CALLS!!! AND HE SAID HE'LL BE ALWAYS FREE AFTER 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK! FUCK!!!!

i really dont know what to say about him i really don't! either he doesn't give a damn or HE JUST DOESNT GIVE A FUCK LAH!! CHEE BYE LAH!!

ANYONE KNOW HOW MISERABLE I AM NOW!! NO ONE KNOWS. EVEN HE DOESNT KNOWS!!! guess what. i msged him 12 msgs. and all he replied was. 'then what you want now'. i told him i was sorry. i told him i miss him alot. and he replies that. anyone can tell me what does he mean by that?

i'm going to do something tomorrow that i have never ever done before. that i couldn't do. but i think i can tml. i'm going to put my phone in my drawer tml. not going to bring it to sch. he will be booking out tml. but i dont wanna meet him. i wont pick up his calls i wont reply his msgs. i'm just going to town on my own till night. FUCK LAH! go town also go and find a bag for him!! how fucking pathetic am i!! CHEEBYE KNN.
his every knit of eyebrows affect me
his every movements kill me
his lack of concern and care makes me only msg him more
his lack of msgs and calls makes me calls him more
he is making me so fucking pathetic
i'm not trying to sound poetic here
i'm just pissed.