am i fated to piss everyone i meet? seriously am i really that bad? ok. so we can't blame guys for everything. wat do we blame then. ourselves. yes. and fate? destiny? and accept it? just like that?

when guys are with their frens, gfs are only secondary. we will always tag quietly behind them and listen to their conversations and feeling very lonely at the same time. yet when we let him meet our frens, we try as much as possible to let him into our conversations with our frens so as to not make him feel neglected. we will always be conscious that he's in the group, and we always make the effort to talk to him once in awhile to check if he's alright. but when he's with his frens, i'm only transparent.

we are also transparent when guys are playing games. they can forget to call us forget to msg us when they are playing. but they wont forget to eat, bath and sleep. we are always secondary to them. yet when i'm out with my girlfrens, i will always make the effort to msg him where i'm gg, and who i'm gg with. it's a kind of responsibility that i take. why can't guys do the same. if they can't do it now, how can they be responsible for their family in the future.

why must they only treat us better when they need a favour from us.. 'baby.. help me do scrapbook can..' 'baby help me pack my room can...' baby do this do that.. and we always do it and never reject them. why can't they do the same to us. why can't they reply when we ask them to. why can't they call when we ask them to.

does anyone know how used i feel? yes, we do use guys for emotional support. we use them as our pillar of strength. but i have frens for that. i had. if i hadn't chosen my bf btw bf and frens, i would have had my whole big bunch of frens who will be just as willing to chiong down to meet me if i'm emotionally down. but guys don't get ripped of their emotions by us do they.
but we get ripped of our virginity, the most precious thing of our lives. and we will give them all we can. because we feel we belong to them now. but after using us, they will feel that they have gotten everything from us already. and we have nothing more to give them, they will get sick of us ultimately. and start to treat u worst and worst by the day. of cos we will say that they suck. cos they weren't like that before they got it. he wasn't like that before. the chat with sam really drove me to the wall. i was crying as i typed. i know i'm not a guy so i don't know how they feel, but they don't know wat's it's like to be us. at the end of the day, we will never get to know the opposite sex completely